The Dreaded Forwarded E-mail

I have a relative, that I will remove any further identifying traits as this is a sticky and tough situation, who is at the heart of this post. Historically, she had a thing for forwarding lots of
e-mails to her contacts in large groups from non original sources. You know the ones I mean. These were e-mails she received from a friend or a friend of a friend, or a distant relative containing messages, stories, and inspirational guidance that everyone needed to share because it was so very, very important.  She rarely looked at the date (sometimes the original e-mails were several year's old) or the source. She once forwarded a satirical article from The Onion, on an $80 billion abortion factory clinic being funded by the federal government, and added a line that she was weeping when she read it.

I had to ask her to not forward any to me at my work e-mail, and to help me with clutter on the home front, take me of the group lists as well to my personal account.  I asked this pleasantly, with the message that I just receive too many e-mails from school and other kid related activities, church, or friends, that I needed to be able to focus on the e-mails that needed attention. Before I put a direct end to this, it had gotten to the point where as many as 20 e-mails were being forwarded in a week. I know I could just hit delete, but I also had concerns about how cookies were being tracked in my in-box, and having certain message types would subject me to more spam, and other unsolicited junk. I can't say this has stopped entirely, because she is adamant that I must receive some information, and if she doesn't send it to me, I may make a dire mistake in my life.

Both older kids got around this in college by asking to not have their school e-mail used for anything other than essential communication. That must have seemed reasonable, because it did help. Their personal accounts were another story, which is why DS didn't even want some family members to know his e-mail. He created sort of a garbage account for that purpose, and assumed I would forward anything relevant to him to the one he really uses.

Our family has moderate political views, and while leaning towards fiscal responsibility, we are socially conscientious. To be fiscally responsible, in my book, is spending money on things that matter and have value, not withholding spending just for the sake of it. We believe in capitalism, but not in greed and making money on the backs of others.  We believe there needs to be a healthy safety net for all people, and that in the richest country in the world, there is no excuse for allowing people to go homeless, hungry, uneducated, or without proper medical care.  We do not have the answers, but are open to being in the conversation and seeing all ideas. We believe caring for each other, without judgement and condemnation is the Christ like way to live. We succeed at this sometimes, and like everyone, fail miserably at times.

Today though, DD#2 received an e-mail that just angered her to the core.  It was an extremely homophobic, gay bashing, hate filled letter in the guise of a prayer request. It was condemning of same sex marriage, and wanted prayers that the Supreme Court could see the damage they would do moving in this direction.  It asked for prayers for Ireland, that they might find new direction.  It asked for prayers for the sinners, who want to ignore all things right and good, to denounce their gay lifestyle and Satan filled hearts. I think this relative knows enough about me to know I would not appreciate this e-mail, so did not include me on the group.  She did however include both older kids (DS's dummy account), and DH.  DH is his work account, so I am very frustrated with that. So here is my dilemma,. Do we all let it go, ignore and give it no meaning?  Do we make our opinions known?  Does DD#2, as a young adult, tackle this head on, knowing she very well might cause a rift between her and the  close relative?  We know this is a deeply divided subject in extended family, and have danced around it. I have a standard line if I am asked leading questions by just saying, "we may need to just disagree," and I refuse to engage in the debate at a family function.

I know many of you that may read this might have strong opinions either way, and I am not going to even try to tackle the issue of same sex marriage and LGBT equal rights in this or any other blog posts in the near future. The hate language in the disguise of Jesus is what I am reacting to in this particular e-mail, and the fact that this relative thought it was OK to try and educate and activate my adult children about this wickedness. We are all entitled to our opinion. I can handle healthy debate in a less personal setting than a family holiday. But please dear relative if you are reading this, don't send me or my family another unsolicited directive on how we should think and act.