I feel adrift as it seems everyone has exciting things to look forward to, plans in motion, travel, new homes, new jobs, new anything, yet I don't. I'm not complaining, just more making an observation and realization. I've got plenty to keep me busy, just nothing that is getting me pumped up. Still, life is what we make of it. Joys, smiles, simple pleasures can be found every day- even while drifting.
- It's good neither DH or I picked up Covid from my daughter. Even though I helped her move, we took as many precautions as we could. I'm glad she was feeling well by the middle of the week.
- She got exciting news that she got all A's again for the semester. She works very hard- it's not a given she'll do so well.
- Another exciting day on Thursday and we learned she got my union scholarship for the second time! She has to order a transcript that covers through this school year, send as her documation, and will get her 21-22 funds.
- My older daughter found a realtor that she thinks will be a good fit. We have a tentative plan if timing doesn't line up perfectly. Even with a still hot market, she's not going to rush and buy what doesn't tick most of her boxes and feel like home.
- We have a new healthy great nephew, born on Friday, his due date. He was more than twice the size of his big brother, born two summers ago at 32 weeks.
- I got lovely greetings for Mother's Day from all three of my kids on the day. Messages through family group texts was also fun to see and send. I spent the day reading. A rainy day with a book is a good day.
- My younger daughter and I had cocktails together Sunday night. I like to say cocktail's rather than just, a drink, when marking occasions.
- Book Club last night was good, despite the crazy weather of storms and tornado watches.
- As book club was winding down, my son called and we all talked to him for hours. While he had sent a text earlier in the day, he let his phone die Mother's Day night, then with time difference he figured too late to call. The guy could talk forever when he's in a talking mood!
- I felt good that I helped my youngest solve a couple travel issues last night. Maybe I'm drifting, but I still can help people stay on course.
I'm sort of cheerleader on the sides to my family and others right now. That's OK- I can hold that role well. I've been feeling well, didn't have a bad knee week, and people in my life are safe and healthy right now as well. Plus, writing this post made me think of the beautiful Styx song, Boat on the River, kind of apt for me. I've linked below. How has your week been? Do you have exciting joys ahead, or are you on the sides? How does either place feel?
I know you know exactly how I’m feeling right now, in the thick of graduation and admissions stuff. My anxiety is through the roof. I keep thinking that I’m missing important things and everything is so expensive. We aren’t doing a grad party and I do feel sad about that but it is what it is. I transferred two older classes for her today, she has three more but I think I have to wait until the end of the school year for that? And of course each one costs money lol. I worked Mother’s Day to give the other moms a break and in turn I’ll get off Fathers Day weekend. My daughter turns 18 the Friday before so it all works out. I had a lovely day despite working, we were not busy and the fam treated me to some nice goodies before and after. Prom was wonderful despite the weather. I’ve done some puttering around today but once I finish this cup of coffee I’m digging in and doing some serious housework. It’s a gorgeous warm day today! It’s just nice to have a day off to myself and not be rushing around. JoAnn
ReplyDeleteIs no party her choice, Covid, combination? You can still have a celebration without it being a big open house style. I remember my first one heading off and the ching ching sound of money leaving our account. But, it was just life then and is life now since my kids are so spread out.
DeleteIt’s not my decision. I would love one and I think she would too but husband said none of his family will come. I only have my dad and brother. But she would still have her friends and my friends would come and some of our neighbors. I guess he doesn’t see it as “cost effective.” We are going to go out for a nice dinner instead. Better than nothing. But I hate how much control his family has over him, even when they are barely involved in our lives. I don’t even know if his parents will acknowledge her graduating. They probably think shes still a junior or something.
DeleteI'm sorry, and yes, if it's looked at as trying to be cost effective, what party is? Maybe he means based on gifts, and I guess some do look at grad parties as money grabs ( not saying he does) and don't like them for that reason. As for her friends, my daughter went to several that weren't open houses, but more just friends and food was chips, pop, s'mores by a fire. Maybe that might be an option to still feel she's celebrating with her friends but as the honoree?
DeleteYou’re not wrong about the cash grab part and he has always felt that birthday parties and celebrations are not important. It’s frustrating to say the least.
DeleteReading all of this does not sound like you are adrift!
ReplyDeleteSorry hit enter before I was finished with the comment, then had to leave for a volunteering commitment. Instead of being adrift it sound like you are living between two waves right now, ready for the next one to take you in a new direction.
DeleteThat's the thing, I haven't felt like I've gotten so to speak, any waves myself for such a long while. I'm not complaining as I think this is likely how the past two years have made so many of us feel, and lifecycle, it's just my time in life to be in the sidelines.
DeleteYou are so blessed. Wonderful about the daughter's grades. Be proud mom you raised great kids. You sound a little blue. Perhaps getting back to the office at least one day a week will do some good. IF it were me, I would just want to permanently work from home. I think it is easy to feel adrift when you hear every ones plans and they all seem so much more stellar than yours. If you want to feel better, think of my shop and how much there is to do in there.... Now you feel better right?
ReplyDeleteBelieve me, lack of work is not an issue home or my job. Blue isn't quite the word. I've actually been in a stable head space, but a dull one.
DeleteThe weather has been beautiful here for the past week or two. The gardens are doing well and it is glorious to be able to sit outside and read again. I bought two new lounge chairs for the patio and they are really comfortable. All and all a great week so far.
ReplyDeleteIsn't it great to have a book, natural warmth, and no cares? My drift feeling is not sadness, and at least in a book, I'm feeling an adventure. My daughter has been reading a lot outside and suggested we need much more comfortable lounging chairs.
DeleteYou're not alone in feeling like you're maybe just treading water. I feel the same. I have no intention of going anywhere until at least next spring (unless my friend and I take a long weekend over the border in Switzerland) and the days tend to feel all the same at the moment. Still, I'm sure we'll snap out of it. But WELL DONE to your daughter for doing so well in her studies and getting that financing! You can be really proud of her!
ReplyDeleteYou put a finger in it- days are good, happy, just tend to feel the same. It's not a lack of purpose, or activity/ things to do, they're just the same, each and every day. We were very excited to get the notice of her scholarship and she was ecstatic about her final grades.
DeleteI totally understand stand your feelings, the most exciting thing in my life lately is when a library book I've put a hold on comes in. 🤔
ReplyDeleteSusan R
I am living vicariously through books, blogs, and others. My book recommended by Lovely Lady Gravy has come in. Banner day.
DeleteFrankly, I cannot imagine how I would feel if I had to work from home, no matter how much I liked the decor in my home office. I think I'd feel violated. I love to be home, but that's because my home is my refuge, and my place to relax. Also, I don't know how you ever leave work if you work from home without a strict, "clock-out" policy. My hat is off to you!
ReplyDeleteJoys for the week so far: This morning, at 7 a.m. I went on a 4 mile walk with a friend I haven't seen in a while. It was good to catch up as we walked. The weather cooperated, as we only got rained on for about five minutes! The sun is (finally) shining. I have weeded about 2/3 of a flower bed which is about 30 feet long and 15 feet deep--it felt good to be able to do that! If the weather continues, I'll finish it tomorrow.
Congratulations on your daughter's academic success. (And color me envious!)
The lines do feel crossed frequently. Violated might be too strong because I do like the convenience. The no choice right now is starting to be annoying though. I e been pretty good about stopping work by 6:00 and not starting before 7:30 and last week I took my flex Friday. I just got a resignation though- another person with an exciting new job, and it's going to take months to replace and yet more months to train, so goodbye any thoughts of a relaxing summer.
DeleteI get that feeling of being adrift, Sam. Sometimes I feel like I'm just a bystander and everyone else is living but me. I'm in limbo lately - I keep waiting to be told to go back to work full time but it hasn't happened yet...
ReplyDeleteThere's a scene in some movie, The Holiday I think, where one of the women characters laments that she should be the leading character in her own life. It describes where I feel right now.
DeleteThat is great news about your daughter’s grades. And how great that your other daughter found a realtor to fit. How neat that your son called me talked for hours. Those kinds of conversations are the best.
ReplyDelete