Need to Hope Harder!

Back on December 30th, I decided I would try a different take on goals for 2021 and put them in the framework of hopes. I thought with the year half over, it would be a good midpoint check-in to see if I need to Hope Harder or temper my  aspirations. Importantly, maybe a time to do a virtual kick in the pants to get closer to my  end of year dreams. So here is a recap of any progress towards these things.

 For 2021, I hope for...

Good Heath and Improved Wellness

• Lose enough weight  to no longer be in the Overweight BMI category-This is an uphill battle and no amount of hope will change this. I need action (physical) and inaction (stop snacking and unhealthy meals) and start regularly making the healthy choices.
• Gain more strength in my legs and arms, build both muscle and bone density Hard to tell if I am seeing progress. I am pushing myself to do more hand weights and walk just a bit farther to build up stamina.
• Resume the sleep clinic effort, be fitted for the mouth guard This has been a challenge. After getting vaccinated, I checked in and they called to schedule, but at a time I couldn't talk for more than 5 minutes and  they needed more time. Now, I have not been able to get back in the cue. 
• Resume regular hiking, play tennis, swim and other activities that I enjoy and have treated as an after thought for the last several years I've done more swimming at the lake, but haven't resumed much tennis yet. Still lot's of good weather for tennis. I need to get off the beaten path and do more hiking and less casual walks, but my knee does create limitations. I can schedule a cortisone shot and will do that this week and maybe see some temporary relief. 
• Use counseling, therapy, or other professional help when needed and not try and manage everything alone I have used the EAP resources through work-some have been helpful to manage my expectations and be a bit more chill about things beyond my control. I am a work in progress. As importantly, I am encouraging my kids to do the same as I realize a carry a lot of their mental health needs on my shoulders, which is not healthy for me. 
• Do a better job assuming positive intent in all areas and with all people first This has been crucial with things related to DH's family and the many changes happening at work. I think I am seeing some degree of success, but have moments of inner bitchiness. 

Financial Stability and Progress on Retirement Goals

• Increase our % of cash savings Through more luck than well planning, we are achieving this. DH works so hard and I'll say it, has some lazy coworkers and financially, him picking up their slack has been good. Not so much for his health, which adds stress to us.
• Max out both Roth and 401K's We held off on the Roth-something unknown was on the horizon at that time, but we for 2021 (by April of 2022) and are both on track to max out the  401 K.
• Review and update monthly and annual budget, tightening belt where we can and on things that are not necessities or bring us joy I have blips of splurges, but for the most part, both of us are spending where we either need, or where there is true joy. I've been pretty solid in my no fast fashion-dresses for two weddings the exception, and have only spiffed up my wardrobe with 2nd hand finds that I like. Belt tightening on groceries, household, and H&B has been focused on eliminating or at least reducing waste.
• Support DD2 in buying her first house (probably with sweat equity in the right house) No house yet, but we still help her look at options, even though they sell out from under her. I think we are helping her with moral support to not rush into a purchase of a home that is not quite right for her. The housing market is just really hard to get a foot in without the risk of overspending and then getting under water if the market corrects. She keeps her eye there, while also investing in moving towards self employment. 
• Support DS in getting caught up on the financial set-backs due to Covid economic conditions No need to have this as a hope as he is doing just fine on his own without our help. He did some things outside of his career that proved lucrative, and now is working on really strong projects. 
• Support DD2 in securing a strong internship DD2 is doing well financially as a college student could be. She got two very part time jobs and a volunteer position (resume builder) spring semester and a scholarship. She was hired for an Americorp job for summer, and has a paid campus internship already lined up for fall. As she is very  careful with her money, she is socking away more in her savings as well. 

Positive Relationships

• Do several mini trips, and a longer trip  depending on travel/public health conditions No mini trips-I was leery before being vaccinated to go anywhere, and now that we are, time has been an obstacle. We are in the planning stages of either a big road trip, or a couple shorter mini trips for fall.
• Spend more quality time with MIL, but in small doses so I preserve my own calm This has been another odd one. She is very aligned to DH's brother's families schedule, which doesn't  work as well with ours. For example, she travelled with them over Easter and only will come to the cabin if they are there for the weekend. DH has made extra efforts to take her to lunch or before restaurants opened, bring her take out. DD1 gets up early and has coffee with her-but that can't really count towards my intentionality. 
• Spend more time with siblings-as we all age, this should not be taken for granted, and includes DH's siblings This also has been a slow build through May when the adults all got vaccinated. There were wedding, grad parties, and little opportunities now that summer allows all to be outside. 
• Schedule at least one friends activity a month, not counting book club This is slowly resuming. Trivia got back up and running on Wednesdays, and I've made it once with the group. I had some walking  meet-ups with the Mom's. I need to put this higher on the list for the second half of 2021.
• Schedule at least one couples friend activity a quarter Dampened by Covid, on May 8th we finally had a get together with two other couples, so that was at least one in the second quarter. We need to think intentionally about this one.
• Support each adult child in their "adulting", but without meddling. Imposition, or taking on additional personal stress (this is private hope that I likely won't elaborate on much in the blog) This is going to be an ongoing battle for me. I want my kids to have happy lives, and I would do anything for them, but constantly need to remember there is nothing I can do about how their lives evolve other than  give them unconditional love. I feel their pains, stress, anxiety, and disappointments acutely, but that really is not helpful for any of us.

Organized Mind and Life

• Home projects completed including patio, bathrooms, and office  Well-there is still 6 months on the calendar! 
• Start minimalizing home-sell or donate useable items not used, needed, or loved Little by little, I'm purging more than I am bringing into the house. 
• Negotiate purging of  DH's hoarding of paperwork and material from decades ago We'll just leave this here to ferment for a while. No progress and it has gotten worse. 
• The GARAGE Same as above-no progress.

Peace and Contentment

• Figure out where my faith/spirituality is after it has taken a bruising these last four years I'll describe my progress here more as mindfulness and searching for something that fills this space. I tried an online bible study, and it didn't really work for me. The pastor was a bit pedantic, and the discussions didn't have any depth or challenge. However, my book club discussion of The Book of Longings  did  raise more insight into my own beliefs and what I might need long term.
• Encourage DH to pull the lever and buy a boat (used) that he has wanted to do for over a decade Woohoo! Something I can concretely say happened. We had a lot of fun yesterday with it. I know it is kind of a pain in the butt, but being able to get away from the others in the family for an hour or so with just my family has helped the relationship hopes above. 
• Schedule vacation days for mental health throughout the months to whittle down some of my accrual  and do not  check email Oh boy do I need help more than hope here. I did the opposite-scheduled vacation days and then ended up working more on some of those days than I might have otherwise. I have two scheduled for July though and two full weeks in August, so hope for me yet. 
• Keep social media to healthy and positive interactions; no political discourse. However, a reminder to myself to not let it be just glorified versions of life, but reality, while remembering nothing is as perfect as some social media posts tend to be. I have mastered this pretty well, to the point that I am on  social media probably less than 1/2 of what I was on it it 2020.
• Focus on my job as a means to earn a paycheck, while hours not working is my life  A hope in progress. Getting three new projects on my plate while down a staff person made this a real challenge, but light is in site. 

     This post was very much just for myself as a check-in on where I have fallen short in making  positive changes in my life. Can any of you relate though as you look back at things you were thinking about in January?