Perspective, Part Two

January has been pretty good for the most part here at the New Frame house.  We've had our bought of freezing cold and are in a few days of January thaw.  Work has been anything but routine, but my  newly adopted practice of flying low, and only being outspoken if issues arise that negatively impact staff or clients or if I can't solve behind the scenes in the quiet, has helped my personal stress.  On the home front DD#2 had her golden birthday, celebrating in multiple small ways since her birthday was mid week.  We've either worked or been spectators at basketball tournaments each weekend, so meals and housekeeping routines have been really simple.  We've eaten too many meals out of the house on the tournament days, so I do need to figure a better system that isn't isolating, but dropping $20-$40 on two out of house meals a weekend isn't doing the finances any good.  We do consider these as well as tournament fees, when we plan our budget for sports and school extra curricular activities, but it seems like we are spending even more than usual.

I do love to watch the kiddo play ball though.  She is in one of the lower competitive levels, but the intensity of the game, and the thrill of the win and disappointment of the losses is just as compelling in C as it would be if she was playing A.  Her last game was running late yesterday, so I sat, unbeknownst to me, on a chair between two fathers from opposing teams of the 7th grade championship game currently being played.  This was one of the most awkward set-ups for spectators in which the  gym floor was surrounded by a second floor walk way, that looked over the courts.  The fans had to watch from chairs or standing along the railing looking down at the court-almost like the game was being played in a cage.  If you didn't stand, you had an obstructed view from the safety fence. This game had a 13 point difference at half time-a lot for middle school age basketball.  In the second half though, the team behind caught up, and from then it was a nail biter.  As I sat between these two parents, it was  so interesting to listen to each expression of frustration  at the ref calls, whether a good defensive play was really a foul, if a girl travelled before driving into a basket, and statements about what I assume was their own daughters play.  Of course each though the calls were bad when they went against their team, and good when a positive call. 

I'm sure these were caring and loving dad's that just wanted a winning outcome for their kid, but in overhearing, someone not familiar with the tournament concept, might have thought there were big stakes on the line with this game.  What would happen to the white teams future if purple came back to win?  If she misses the free throw, will she have to show up at school next week hanging her head in shame?  Its all really ridiculous.  I probably am no different than these parents, but hope I do a better job of keeping my own emotions in check.  Every game has a bought of bad refereeing, as these are human beings that make mistakes, or are not in eye sight to see a situation in full, but doubt any are out to mess with one team or another. Every child out there is doing their best and am sure they know when they have made a mistake as it is all over their face. In the end, the victor of these game all received first place t-shirts, and the loser 2nd place.  There were no college scholarships or product endorsements.

My daughter's team lost their third game and ended up in 2nd in their bracket.  She received a nice long sleeve t-shirt, with 2nd place printed with the tournament logo.  The team was disappointed after two strong wins earlier in the day to end on a loss, but as kids do, bounced back quickly to pose for a team picture, one serious, and one goofy.  As happens though with youth sports, adults sometimes spoil the moment.  One mom stated  teams never want to get 2nd because you "lose" to get second place.  When I asked my daughter how she felt about the game, she had a thought or two about what the refs were calling, how she couldn't get a shot to land, and that she banged her knee scrapping for a loose ball,  but mostly her experience was captured in this quote.  "I like the shirt.  It's silky." Perspective.