Savor the Ordinary

I wrote a few weeks back about not waiting for the weekends to create moments to look forward to. My point was too many  times in my life I have dragged my sorry behind from day to day, until reaching the Thank God It's Friday moment of the weekend. I don't want that life.  I wonder though if what I was trying to convey would be misconstrued.  There should be times in life that should be celebrated and highlighted as grand and once or rarely in a lifetime experiences, and other days, the joy should be in the ordinary. Sometimes things go too far in tryng to make everyday momentous.  

I was recently reminded of this after seeing high school prom pictures held over the weekend, of my friends daughter. In this same group was another friend sharing pictures of the middle school formal dance. In all honesty, I had to look twice at which was the high school and which was the middle school event. Now, 7th and 8th graders are holding expectations for the perfect night, and wearing the perfect dress and make up. Fortunately, I have three kids that are fly under the radar kind of kids.  Each DD went to the middle school dance when they were that age, though DD#2 passed this year, but each wore a dress from their own closet. They had stories about $200 dresses, never to be worn again. High school prom used to be an event you waited for until you were a junior or senior in high school, but now apparently, this event is dubbed the middle school prom.

The middle school formal resembles what I remember my high school prom being like. The girls bought  a pretty dress, the guys wore a suit, you did the grand march thing, caught some dinner, and attended the dance. I had heard there was the "anti glam" movement for prom for a few years where it was actually uncool to come in a tux, and the girls had dress swapping or shopping at second hand store parties.  From what I saw and heard, that trend is gone. Now the guys are expected to have over the top invitations that meet some new social order. Even the invite needs to be an occasion. Limousines are the norm, and flower and photography rival wedding costs. How many kids sat out because they just couldn't afford to participate at this level, and didn't think they could otherwise.

I am probably sounding scrooge like, and yes, it is about the money, at least in part. More so, it is about building up expectations for young people that real life just can't possibly sustain. It pleases me to learn that the divorce rate is going down, but how many young couples have you met that seem to have put more thought into the wedding as an event, as opposed to the wedding as the start to their life as a new family. When the bridal showers, and the bachelorette and bachelor parties end, and the big day is over, there is real life with dirty dishes, mounds of laundry, and bills to pay.

But, just like we can set ourselves up for unsustainable expectations, we can also plant the seeds for daily gratitude and life fulfillment. We can have an evening bon fire and invite the middle school crowd over, even splurging on a pizza or two. We can glorify the beauty of a simple second hand dress, and nice shirt and hand me down tie, as elegant prom wear.  We can invite the newly married couple over for a simple supper or dessert and show how romantic a night at home can be. We can instill a sense with young people, and each other that yes, there are big events in life and enjoy them fully, but always remember, the adventure is yet to come when the balloons and glitter go away.  It's called ordinary life.