Saturday, February 13, 2016

Have I Become One of those Parents?

Like a shadow in a crowded room, never sure to whom it belongs, that's how I have been with groups of parents at my children's activities. I'm there, discussing the play, rooting on the competition, jumping in to help where needed, but I'm not  a "fill in the blank" mom. My Life isn't solely planned by the needs of  their calendar. I have friends with people that never had a child play basketball, run cross country, play football, sing in the choir, or play violin. I still  have an activity or two that doesn't extend to the offspring at all. I have a some basketball and soccer logo clothes from my days of coaching, but I don't feel a need to dress in parent sized "spirit wear." I don't get sucked into the grown-up competition, subtle but there, jockeying for positions of influence with the director or coach. Nope, I'm not one of those mom's.

Or maybe I am, and I just haven't realized it yet. Here has been the bulk of my social life since December. 

Choir Holiday concert  - Orchestra Holiday Concert - Team Manager Meeting for Spring/Summer Soccer - Show Choir Preview Show - Parent Meeting for Soccer - Show Choir Competition 1 - All School Band and Orchestra Concert - Honors Choir Concert - Show Choir  Competition II. 

Mixed in with that is a couple nights out with couples friends, one of whom has an older daughter also in Show Choir, and informal class reunions due to the 50th birthday celebrations, loaded with former classmates that have daughters and son's the same age. Guess what the bulk of the conversation was centered on? 

This being one of the mom's is unusual for me. So often with my youngest, I was often a decade older than the bulk of the other parents. Now, we older parents seem to be coming out of the wood work now that our kids are in high school. Maybe it's our common realization that for most of us, this is it, and the nest will soon be empty. We have no "next one" to support and be involved with. This poster from DrJamesDobson.org explains my behavior better than I can put in words. I guess I am one of those "Love My Kid" mom's.







4 comments:

  1. It seemed that we never had a free moment when Anna was young. She was in everything, 3 sports a year and a never ending stream of friends. DJ on the other hand, was a bit of a slug. I always felt overwhelmed at trying to keep track of Anna's plans. We finally got to the point where she wasn't allowed to do anything unless it was in writing. My bestie is now fighting the exact same fights with her daughter.

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    1. So fr, not quite fight, but when they wan tot be in so much, and they can keep up with their grades, it is hard for me to draw too many limits. She was so adaptable being carted to her older siblings things, but then they each only did one sport a season-not so much cross over as now, and weren't nearly involved in music as she is. The ten year gap and only having one to cart around has helped.

      They just got done performing, and are changed back in their warm-ups, waiting to watch the competition. I have some peace as I am monitoring the room.

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  2. Enjoy the happy busyness. My kids won't go to any outside activities right now.
    The opposite extreme!
    However I am with them most of the time due to homeschooling. I have a few points during the week for myself...choir etc.
    But I am surprisingly content!
    I am also an older Mum. 10 years older than the others in my Mum's group. Drs told us we couldn't have kids and so we resigned ourselves to that, and then suddenly miraculously we could!!
    All the best with your last one.
    Xo Jazzy Jack

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    1. She's our bonus as well. Years of several miscarriages and then 10 years goes by then healthy baby. The bus was frezing-even with blanket.

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