Sunday, February 21, 2016
Saying Yes When Inclined to Say No
I write a lot about trying to simplify my life, set boundaries, not always be the one to add another something on my plate. It took a while to learn this, but for me, never saying no to something was the recipe I used for burn out. Two months ago, the only thing I was hoping to do this weekend, my free one on the calendar, was to have a little get away with DH and maybe DD#1. Six weeks ago an opportunity for a couples weekend with old friends was being bantered about and I was all for that. Things unravelled, and we never made other plans. That's fine, I told myself, a weekend with no commitments was just what I needed. Roll forward four weeks and my weekend of me was changed to 12 hours of travel and apartment searching, and a early Sunday morning spent with a cousin.
I had a message that my cousin was going to be in town to watch her daughter's volleyball tournament. This is actually my second cousin, her dad being the oldest and me the second youngest of my grandparents grand kids, but she is who I grew up with. Her daughter is DD#2's age, but they do not really know each other at all. I haven't seen my cousin in probably 18 months. We met at the high school after her daughters first match, walked the indoor walking track for an hour getting caught up, and then I stayed and watched match two. It was a nice morning. Now back home, I have all the undone things yet to do that weren't done yesterday, and haven't been started today.
Sometimes though, even when trying to declutter one's life, saying yes, when my new instinct is to first say no, is my choice. Sure my daughter could have easily picked up her friend, who joined for the house search, and made a decision with out me. I would have missed out on the unrushed conversation with my girls in the car, and getting to know her friend a bit better. It might have felt good to sleep another hour this morning, and leisurely start projects around the house, saying I was just too busy after being out of town yesterday. I was quickly glad I made the effort, getting a great walk in while getting good catch-up. Bonus-no spending either.
To balance, I'm under committing in other areas this week. There are still spots left for show choir this weekend that need volunteers. I am doing my best to not add my name to anymore-we'll see if I have resolve if I am called directly. All family's are to contribute a pan of bars. Mine will be Rice Krispy bars I can make in 5 minutes. Gasp, I may pass on Lenten church service this week, and if we have a full crew, pass on volleyball. I am not a martyr, and I can use the word no. Just sometimes though, yes is the better option.