Monday, May 23, 2016

Should Mom's Play Match Maker?

I'm not going to beat around the bush. I would love to be a grandma some day. I see my sisters and my friends that have grandchildren and have a little twinge of heart melt, thinking someday. I need to be honest, but I don't want to be that mom. First, I want my kids to have partners who are truly that, partners in all things.  Even when you think you've got a partner that you share goals and priorities with, something about having kids, makes  it harder to maintain that balance. I've experienced it, and have seen it a lot. Single parenting is tough. I know some great single parents, and for the most part, are better off than had they stayed with the other parent, or who were unattached singles when they became a parent with intentionalality. That doesn't make the money stretch farther, or the chores get done faster with only one set of adult hands. No, I first want my kids to feel solid and secure in their place in life, and with who, if anyone, they want to build that life, before smudgy fingers join their household. DS in particular is so far from being ready to parent, I wouldn't wish that for any child.

Still, I can't squash my hopes for someday. Neither older kid is in a relationship, at least that I am aware of. As I read blogs by young writers, or videos from young You Tubers, or read about their lives in their parents  (usually mom's) blog, I play a little match maker in my head. 'YouTuber Ben's friend James would be perfect for DD#2. They both love classic films, the outdoors, and travel. Mrs. Sassy Money's daughter, K sounds like she has the same interests as DS. They are into music, the beach, and fitness.'

When DD first started her last job on a regular schedule, and before she decided to move back home and jump start a new search, she was living in a very rural area. Slim opportunities to meet many young people her age period, let alone a potential soul mate. One weekend when she was home, she indulged her mom, who was quite tipsy after drinking a bottle of red, by letting me  sift thorough prospective dating candidates on a web site. FarmersOnly.Com is a real honest web site that links single country people together.  The slogan, "City folk just don't get it" was quite apt. Perhaps it was just the current members, but the thought of DD being willing to date, let alone even hang out with a man who was looking for a girl who would be, "up with the sun to serve him breakfast before they labored, he in the fields, and she in the house," was not just slim, but none. 

Now, both live a sizable distance from me, so even if I was inclined, I am not in a position to help find them love interests. That is just as well. I don't really think mom should play that role in their children's life. However, if any of you readers are so inclined to make an introduction to someone in your life to one of my older two, who am I to interfere?



I love good Hallmark movie.  I've not seen this one, but something tells me things will go all shits up for mom at some point, but all will end happily ever after. 

7 comments:

  1. I think the answer to your original question is no.

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    1. I once remember my mom not actually tying to set me up, but she made no secret that I should date the nice guy at the grocery store I worked at.Quite awkward. Nope-not going to be that mom.

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  2. Get a puppy. LOL. Close enough to a grandkid!

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    1. No Way-yhe one I have is the devil some days! I just want the fun not responsibility.

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    2. I have a granddaughter. If I had known how much fun they are I would have had a grandkid first!

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  3. My elder daughter and her husband have been together for almost 9 years, married for almost 3 and have no intention of having children; neither of them want them. The younger doesn't really want any either. Neither me or John is bothered about having grandchildren, something that my Mum doesn't understand. We do have our grandkitty Bold though, who occasionally comes to stay!
    I can't imagine a scenario where I would matchmake for our younger one. I just hope that there is someone kind and caring out there for her, and that she is lucky enough to stumble across him!

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    1. I talk abut this in jest, and of course, I just want them happy and to live their life on their own terms.I do need to be honest, that I would be disapointed, but would continue to be a good great aunt and older friend to the youngster's in my life.

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