Monday, June 13, 2016

First Bout of Aging Sadness


Writing this, I am a bit down tonight. I've been trying to figure out little ways to bring in some fun money, side little opportunities to bring in cash for fun that let's us save more. People have suggested the surveys. I had good luck with those one earning a $25 gift card, so thought I would sign on to a couple sites For the third time in a row, I've been passed by for a Focus Point Global study because of my age-too old. Apparently, opinions of the 28-42 year old mom matter, but not this haggard old cow.Then the mirror has been laughing and mocking me and my sun burned skin. I know things are a little saggy and not so firm, but the variation in skin color depending on the depth of burn is making wrinkles that I never thought I had jump off my face, neck, and shoulder area. I'm just feeling old tonight, when a week ago, I was thinking my skin is holding on pretty well for 50 in the lines department. 

Granted, the news of Orlando has brought everyone down into sadness. Every death is a loss, though I particularly have visions of the young man texting his mom as his last act, and my heart breaks for them both. DS always texts me as his communication mode first, so that's the face I see. A coworker who was quite recently diagnosed with lung cancer, passed away Thursday evening. I'm still processing that. She's my age, and has a 22 year old son that just graduated college. This should be his happiest moment in life, but instead, he, as the next of kin, has to plan a memorial service. Maybe she's taking care of that other mother's son right now.

I'm trying to read all the blogger's I follow. They cheer me up with each funny story, silly anecdote, and rant about stupidity. I love you guys-keep it coming! I guess this is my first bout of feeling my age; knowing and thinking my life is more than half over. Maybe it's disappointment that I didn't go ahead and book the ridiculously cheap flights to Europe for DH and I for November. I glanced today, and our same Paris flights would be nearly $600 more than if I had booked them last night. My young colleague booked hers to Coppenhagen, bless her soul, but I'm envious that I no longer have the vitality and impulsiveness of youth. We just got back from church, Monday night in the summer because we have so many cabin folks. Our youth pastor, who has become a dear friend to me and DD2, is leaving to join her husband in a new calling.I feel like another child is moving away, and that makes me feel old as hell.  

 Anyone else that had thought they were aging just fine, suddenly succumb to aging melancholia? Will I get out of it? If you have an answer for me, look me up at Walgreen's. I'll be the one buying wrinkle cream, Geritol, and a new tube of toothpaste. .

18 comments:

  1. What's the alternative to living old? Dying young.
    Puh....lessse.....You're still alive and well.
    You're so young at 50. You have another 50 years to go.
    This is not time to go to Europe. Didn't you read the DOJ alert?
    If the Focal Group doesn't want your opinion, find another group that will value the opinion of a much wiser person.
    Want some great encouragement on getting older? Have you seen Jane Fonda lately? Do you have Netflix? Start watching 'Grace & Frankie' and start laughing. Fonda is almost 80 years old and looks inspirational.
    Be thankful you are alive, healthy and wise.
    Perhaps you should go help your co-workers son who is burying his mother. That should cheer you up.

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    1. Well that was a good kick in my rear-thanks. We all lament about things sometimes and tonight was my bout on getting older. My perogative, but also wrote to make fun of myself a bit, which for me, helps me see the idiocy of my whining.

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  2. Sam my mum has just gone to Puglia with her next door neighbour a chap of 87. She is 86 as you know. I wrote about her a few weeks back when we went to Lille for her birthday. This chap Tony is Italian I've known him all my life and used to spend a great deal of time in his house eating pasta as a child and playing with his kids etc. His wife and my dad are no longer with us so Mum and Tony have over the last few months been keeping each other company. I'm telling you this because mum said that they have such a laugh and honestly she looks like someone 20 years younger. She took a little persuading to go as she felt disloyal to dad and I think was a little afraid as she will have to come home on her own next week. Anyway what I'm trying to say a little rambly is that laughing and smiling is the best anti aging medicine we can use and it doesn't matter how old we are there is still plenty of life left if we just go and grab it. Mum is having a great time and is now talking about going back out there until Christmas when Tony usually comes back lol. Also I will just say that we went over to Turkey last week we were thanked by everyone for visiting as all the troubles in neighbouring Syria and associated attacks elsewhere in Europe had severely hit tourism and their livelihood. I would not let the shooting in Orlando stop me from visiting America. I hate all this Europe is not safe rubbish. Europe is a big place. Is that all of Europe you are supposed to avoid. Go grab a flight somewhere and have some fun and if you make it over to UK let me know I'd love to meet you.

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    1. 50 was just a number-last night it felt like a weight.I hadn't wanted to feel like a cliche and suddenly I was wishing 10 years were back. The travel was cold feet and then regrets. Good for your mom.I'll travel again but I had liked the idea of the impromptu trip and stopped myself because od money and time.

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  3. I'm with Anon above. I'm not as old as Jane Fonda but I'm in my mid sixties and actually life is great. My income is considerably reduced in retirement so I have to cut my coat rather more stringently according to my cloth.

    With regard to surveys, I make around £60 a month but they are not for someone as busy as you. I reckon I qualify for less than 1 in 20 of the ones I start and as the pay for each that I complete is very tiny you can see I spend a lot of time doing them. Maybe I should get a life but I just pick up the laptop every time I sit down and see who wants my opinion.

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    1. I know so few get picked-it was the wording of "not fitting the age demographic profile" that annoyed me. Suddenly my age did matter. Yes,I'll get out of my age slump.

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  4. It will pass for certain. The "old" snap will move on and you'll feel much better, much younger again, and realize you have so many wonderful years ahead. I think you just have a case of Orlando sunburn blues. I feel really old sometimes and honestly in all my life I've never truly had the impulsiveness of youth. It's all relative. You seen quite young to me. It will pass.

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    1. Yes,best to just get on with life, right. Maybe I'll be a wild and impulsive retiree someday.

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  5. Just remember that age is a number and you will always be younger than me! lolz

    And save your money for trips and don't buy all that anti-aging shit as it's a waste of resources. You can't hold back time.
    But I feel you on passing into the "nobody wants you demographic".
    Older women get a bad rap in our modern society but it's getting better.
    My rx is to laugh more and SMILE!

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    1. I like your sort of medicine. I guess I can strive to do something fantastic in my older years.

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  6. Yeah, I feel the same way. Sometimes, I think I'm fighting the good fight when it comes to aging. Other days, I I think I shouldn't be let out of the house. Plus it doesn't help that Den looks lot younger than I do.
    I say let it go and live. And please remind me of this the next time I feel down and old. ;p

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    1. I see I am not entirely alone in my aging pity party! On the good side, the raccoon eyes in reverse are settling a bit -not quite so stark, so that helps. Yep-I'm going to try and let it go, but the aches and reeks and wrinkles will remind me.

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  7. I just turned 60 and had a physical yesterday. She froze one little "pre-cancerous" thingy off my behind and said I was good for another few years! I think I'm in much better shape than I was at 50. (She said I had the pulse rate of an athlete - ME!!!! Ten years or so ago I had so much work-related and relationship stress and teenager problems (nothing serious), depression and anxiety blah blah blah. Now I get so much more exercise and say to myself at least once a day " I get to do whatever I want tralalalala!!" Trust me life just gets better and better! (Oh, and my FROWN LINES are going away!!

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    1. Jane, Your comment was just what I needed. I hope in 10 years I'm making fun of my 50 year old self.

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  8. I will be 70 in three months and am just now bemoaning aging. My arms are looking old! The doctor was pleased with my blood pressure and heart rate and cholesterol, not so much on the diabetes.

    I am not giving up on getting a PhD!

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    1. Good for you Linda. I'm less crab than Monday night. No PoD in my plans, but other goals still in play.

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  9. My body seems to be aging faster on the inside than the out - my knees were already showing signs of wear when I was 15, I had high blood pressure at 37, cataracts and a heart condition at 43, but I have very few wrinkles or grey hairs. I definitely look better than I did 10 years ago- that's down to the 45 pounds of fat that have been shed since then! I do surveys and get screened out of lots once they know that I am female and 51. I just thought that they may have lots of people that fit that demographic!

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    1. I thought I was aging well on the outside but the mirror this week told me otherwise, and it just bummed me out. I need to lose at least that much-more like another 56 to get back into a normal/healthy range, and that with dropping 14 or so since the new year. Even that little bit should have helped, but I think it is where I am carrying the weight-stomach area, thighs, and arms, that make me feel so awkward. My knees keep me form walking a lot, but now tha tit is swimming weather, I should be able to get more exercise in.

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