Wednesday, September 21, 2016

Doing What I'm Not Good At


I love my new camera, though still trying to figure it out. I'm a horrible photographer though, despite the ease of it. But I love taking pictures, remembering events, trying to make my own blog photos in hopes that one day I'll get that perfect picture where what is seen with my eyes is captured in the shot. I'll keep taking them, hoping to get better, but knowing I may never be great at it.
I love writing this blog. I reread posts and it is not just a diary of my life, but a social commentary of my mindset at the time, my challenges, my highlights, my opportunities. I read blogs from people who are truly good writers and have a knack for telling their stories and think, "damn, I wish I could write like that." Right now, I don't have that talent, nor time to carefully mull over my thoughts, and rephrase and try to use my words to better capture what my mind wants on the screen. I am a slap dash writer, grammar and punctuation errors abound, and I am sorry for the ones I don't catch. That won't stop me from blogging though.

I want to master the perfect latte art. Those lovely white and mocha brown designs of froth on top of the espresso make the coffee sing when I enjoy it. I don't have the right equipment, the steady hand, and the imagination to picture the abstract turning into a design, but yet, I'll keep trying to create the S'Americano. (see what I did there S'Am...) I took a picture of this attempt today. Combining my love of taking (for now bad) pictures with my love of trying to create visually interesting (but weird) coffee drinks, I failed at both attempts.

I'm in my 50th year, and it has not been amazing. Life did not begin again at 50. I didn't conquer new life goals or climb  a mountain side, run a marathon, or sky dive like many of my friends and former classmates did this last year. What I did though was keep trying and doing things I'm not good at but make me smile and make me content. I write this because while I haven't had an amazing year, it has been a good one. I chatted with a friend recently about what it feels like to get older and what we thought we would have accomplished at this stage in life. She is the last of my friends to turn 50 and her birthday was this week. Our little baby, the youngest in school, who had a "movers and shakers" kind of career in her twenties and early 30's, but decided to put that life on the shelf when she became a mom. 

She has a cute Etsy shop and does a few craft fairs a year. She travels to soccer, volleyball, and basketball tournaments. She travels east to her visit her husbands family each summer, spending a glorious month beach side. Twenty-five years ago, she had an amazing life from my then perspective, a tired working mom of two toddlers. Now, she has intentionally chosen a very different path, but yet, is always trying something new. The Etsy shop and craft  uses her marketing skills, and she is always trying to add to her product as she learns new craft items to make. I told her how envious I am of her ability to do all these things, and raise her kids. She laughed, and told me to "look in the mirror." 

I'm trying hard not to sell myself short, that too is something I am not good at but keeping at it with practise. Trying new things and plodding along at old things that I am just not great at, but enjoy and want to do better, keeps me fulfilled. Maybe my friend and I don't mark our lives through monumental moments, but perhaps have amazing lives all the same.

12 comments:

  1. Happy 50th year!!! I'm running right behind you!!!! And I have to say that I love this age. Mind you, my ass is sagging but my self-esteem isn't!!!
    And I love your writing. Visiting you makes me happy!!!

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    1. I proved my own post-I hit publish when I was still in process, so you got the true "work in progress."

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  2. I am 50 next week and I've been thinking along similar lines. I'm not a gifted individual but enjoy tinkering. All the quality photos on my blog are taken by my husband not me....mine are always very obvious!
    Arilx

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    1. Happy pre Birthday. Blogging is a great place to explore new things.

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  3. Sam I love reading your blog and it's one of the few that I visit everyday, through reading your blog I feel like I've known you for years you write about things that matter to you and the really sweet kind person shines through so who cares about a few grammar/ spelling mistakes. My oldest friend of over 30 years txt me a few days ago saying her life is pleasant but she wants fabulous. It's all in our head if we think our life is fabulous it is but it may not suit everyone. I think I'm saying the same as your friend Sam go look in the mirror. Your blog posts are fun and interesting and don't just revolve around what outfit you have on each day lol

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    1. Wendy, You are so kind to say that (as I just noticed a grammar mistake even in my title-fixed now.) I like lots of blogger topics but I too gravitate towards those that help me feel I know people. What's a fabulous life anyway? People to love who love you back. Furry pets that give unconditional adoration. Work that makes a difference. Hobbies that are enjoyable. More smiles than tears. Travel! I appreciate your comments so much.

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  4. Happy 50th Year, I'm there with you (or will be in December).
    I'm not really one for reflection or procrastination. I tend to throw myself at something and if it works that's good and if it doesn't at least I tried.
    Your friend sounds a clever lady and from what she said about you, a wise one too. xxx

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    1. I want to be more the throw myself into something-maybe not out a plane door though as our friend K did! Maybe I will give sewing or knitting or something a new try this year. I love how you mix and match the old with the new for something so unique and fun. I can't let memories of junior high sewing class haunt me forever.

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  5. I enjoy reading about your life because it seems very different to mine and you always have something of interest to say.
    I think we're probably all guilty, at times, of looking at other people's lives and thinking they are more exciting/ productive/ important than our own. I know that I have done it.
    I'm now closer to 52 than 51, and the last 11 months have been particularly trying in several areas. My life isn't what I expected it would be when I made the decision to return to education at 40, but I do my best to be as happy and as healthy as I can. I think I live what could be described as ' a small life'; no career, no throwing myself out there,no great shakes in any particular field, but I'm important and precious to a few people, and if that was my epitaph, I think that I would be happy with it.

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    1. That we matter is important but I need to remember my own value to myself. Everyone's world is unique to them and I too find others at times must be better because it is so different from mine. Your blog gives me inspiration and hope that I might too be able to draw upon my own resources should life get challenging.

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  6. I agree with Scarelet about comparing our lives to others. What did Erma Bombeck entitle her book? "The grass is always greener over the septic tank". That means those lives that seem perfect, stink when you get closer. I'm 50 also and every now and then, feel inspired to do something a little different. It's from visiting you guys. My dear imaginary bloggy friends..

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    1. We do really exist even out of blog land! I know what you mean. I read your stories of Leon, and imagine being a grandma and having all that fun again. I read Scarlett's blog, and imagine I could have an English garden, and grow my own fruit and veggies, and try my hand at upcycling. My life is good-I am very fortunate, and need to remind myself that. I have the luxury of being able to try new things.

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