Monday, November 14, 2016

Blogs Build Community-Don't They?

I am sad to read that another of who I call, bloggy friends, has decided to put their computer aside after one too  many nasty comments. To make it worse, the trolls were in full force on a post that was sharing about her kids and youth soccer. I'm all for a little healthy discussion and opinions of descent, but the things in common with the badgers is they seem to be anonymous, and they make comments to tear down the writer (or a commenter), and not add anything of value or construction. Maybe my blogs is too vanilla as I have never had anything but  healthy banter and welcomed feedback, so I can't know what it is like to be tore apart in the comment section, but imagine it feels pretty raw.

According to Merriam Webster, the definition of a blog is "a Web site on which someone writes about personal opinions, activities, and experiences;". When an amateur blogger welcomes comments, she is welcoming  the reader to share a piece of her life, her experiences. She may give an opinion that is absolutely counter to what the reader believes to be true, and in stating it in a publicly viewable venue, has given permission to engage in healthy and respectful dialogue. The intent is not to start a war of words and a verbal thrashing over the head. Even if someone was blogging as part of their job, their profession, when is rudeness and visceral nastiness justified?

I know I am a personal financial conservative, socially liberal, tree hugging want to be, never voted for a republican, died in the wool blue state resident, that oozes privilege. Some of you might think I'm an idiot with my head far up my behind in terms of my political views. I cringed a bit at some of your posts after the  election in much the same way you may have cringed at mine. But none of us are political bloggers, with the implicit role of pot stirrer. We are all entitled to our view, and entitled to put in our blog what we want to say, and maybe needed a post or two to process the new leadership landscape. I have stopped reading a few bloggers when it became apparent that not only are our  views on the world different, our approach to life was so different that the reader-blogger experience wasn't adding value to either party. That's OK, and I wish the blogger and their readers well.

To close, here's a cut and paste on my commentary guidelines.  "Join the conversation. Your respectful comments are welcome. Spam and advertising products or services without permission will be deleted, as will anything deemed hurtful to others. A change, I moderate comments to be sure I read them all and stay ahead of the spam. If you're a blogger, feel free to include your blog URL." If you enjoy my blog, I hope you keep reading and commenting when the mood strikes. And, if you choose to move on, I'm OK with that too, just don't let the door hit you on the way out. Read that last sentence with total tongue in cheek!


24 comments:

  1. You know what is funny? I don't have to agree or disagree with any blogger to be able to enjoy their blog. Like you I am pretty vanilla so I don't see ugliness in my comments. Plus if someone hates a recipe I post, well who really can get upset with that.
    I am mainly saddened that cyber bullies used a post as innocuous as sharing her kids lives and her week in review as a forum to spew venom.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anne, you and I can be vanilla together. But I've been meaning to talk to you about those recipes of late...I'll miss our mutual friend and hope those that were unpleasant perhaps understand that most people do not appreciate cyber bullies, and families are totally off limits.

      Delete
  2. Hmm sad. Respect, respect, respect I say. No matter who they are!
    Sorry your friend decided to quit. I know that feeling but somehow hang on with my strong little fingernails! Xo Jazzy Jack

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It really is simple-be respectful. I hope you keep hanging on as the world needs your poems and photos.

      Delete
  3. How sad that someone feels the need to stop blogging due to unkind words, I've seen it a number of times over the last little while and it's not called for.

    Followers of my blog come and go and that's fine, my blog is mainly about the mundane aspects of my life it's not all of me, just the part I don't really get to talk about anywhere else.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mine is as mundane as dishwater; my highs and lows and in betweens. It is just a release and certainly nothing to bring out the mean as well.

      Delete
  4. It's interesting that trolls are too cowardly to put their names to their bile and own it isn't it! Not had a problem comments wise- everyone has been friendly and often witty. If I don't like something then I tend to say nowt.If it's bigoted then I'll just not bother anymore. Arilx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Even when folks have been so opposite to me, the comments just made me think a bit. Why descending opinions need to be angry is just strange. Her troll really crossed a line.

      Delete
  5. So sad to lose another blogger. Maybe she'll come back after taking a break. My blog is over 6 years old and I still have some of my original readers. I do feel a sense of community here. Luckily I have not had any flamers, but I admit, I avoid controversial topics like politics and religion, but soccer? Well, come to think of it, I remember some of those parents on the sidelines. I guess we can add sports to the list too. It's just sad when people can't communicate without getting "ugly," as they say here in the south, (where this liberal-blue-Yankee-democrat clearly does not belong).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Shouldn't we all get to belong anywhere and certainly in cyberspace.

      Delete
  6. This hurts my heart. She is a very encouraging, uplifting, and beautiful person. We all enjoyed so very much the words she contributes/ contributed to the blogging community. I am so sad.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I hope she feels like staying in touch via others blogs. She was my West coast reality connection.

      Delete
  7. "I know I am a personal financial conservative, socially liberal, tree hugging want to be, never voted for a republican, died in the wool blue state resident, that oozes privilege."

    Not to change the subject or anything but the first part of your quote described a libertarian. Ok, the tree hugging part went off the rails into green party territory but still....lolz

    I think we all need a nap with our blankies here in the US about now and then remember to play nice at recess.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. See, I don't even know what I am. A nap sounds good about now and I appreciate that I can count on you to add some levity.

      Delete
  8. If you can't say something nice don't say nothing at all Thumper from Bambi. I think we all know this quote don't we? My blog is very hit and miss in its consistency and I tend to mainly post about my travel plans and leave family stuff out of it so I've had only positive comments so far. However I have read other vitriolic comments posted on others blogs. These people are clearly unhappy with their lot in life and need our pity. I'm not sure I would stop posting if I was to receive unpleasant comments either I think I'd just ignore and carry on the lovely people blogging far outweigh the nasty ones.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lessons form childhood seem to be forgotten as adult by some. The worst is that her post was so child focused-and that's what brought the troll out. Sad.

      Delete
  9. Like you I have never been bothered much by trolls. Or perhaps my spammer catches the comment before it gets posted. On the flip side I have NEVER posted a nasty comment on anyone's blog...I mean...why would I? If I didn't like what someone posted about I would no longer bother to read their blog. Seems pretty simple. I really don't understand what a troll gains from leaving a nasty comment - anonymously of course. They never use their real name! So, never mind, carry on. I'll be here reading your blog and the others in my blog roll.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I use the spam filter, but even when I've peaked, nothing mean-just advertising and off point weirdness. Yes, an easy solution, stop reading if you don't enjoy the content.

      Delete
  10. That's very sad that your virtual friend stopped blogging. I've had some terrible comments in the past but since I disabled anonymous commenters they've crawled back under their rock. xxx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's really sad. I think it was a good outlet from her job and she is very insightful. Who dared to be rude to you!

      Delete
  11. I can understand why your blog friend has stepped away. I've had my problems with comments over the last 5 years or so and have stopped blogging for periods of time, the last being 7 months. Although I have returned to blogging, I just don't blog about anything that could attract dissenters anymore. I sometimes wonder why I still blog as it's now a poor reflection of the woman I really am.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I remember when you stopped and felt equally bad. I'm glad your back, but too bad you feel like you have to be guarded.

      Delete
  12. I'm of the same mind set as Wendy too. My mom always used to say, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." I thought she was just wise... Didn't realize it was from Bambi until just now.
    I had a "I guess" controversial post about garbage collecting several years ago and got lambasted by a few passionate people anonymously. yikes! Who knew?! I felt very low about that and ended up just deleting the post and moving on with my life. It got better. I don't dare do political stuff. And if someone posts something I don't agree with, I know how to scroll past or keep my mouth shut. Well, sometimes...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sometimes we use our own blog to vent because in real world, we don't want to rock boats. Healthy disagreements aren't bad-Its meanness I hate.

      Delete

Join the conversation. Your respectful comments are welcome. Spam and advertising products or services without permission will be deleted, as will anything deemed hurtful to others. A change, I moderate comments older than three days to be sure I read them all and stay ahead of the spam. If you're a blogger, feel free to include your blog URL.