Wednesday, March 1, 2017

My Life as a Book


My job is OK. Just OK. I used to have a job that invigorated me, stretched my mind, challenged every creative bone I had, but it was literally killing me with stress, anxiety, and physical ill. Still, I feel like I  moved to being not just a small fish in a large pond, but in being one of a thousand krill, just swimming along, nothing more than fuel for a big, slow moving whale. The problem is not that my work does not matter, it's that the structure and politics of the organization does not allow for the talent and energy of the people doing the work to rise.We do what is palatable, acceptable. We don't make waves because we do not want to rock any boats. The organization needs everyone to like us, so we will jump through hoops to satisfy or satiate a request, even if doing so waters down the intent of a policy. It's a good job, with good benefits, nice working conditions. It's just not enough to keep me mentally stimulated. 

Yet, like a book that has some peaks and valley's, perhaps my job is just part of the back story, providing the means to move me towards my ends, but not the ends in and of themselves. I read a post titled You Can't Just Leave Out the Boring Parts because often, those are the parts that build to the climax, that set the stage for the real story. Granted, occasionally we have the office drama, the flare up of tensions, the deadlines and demands that seem to pull a person from the middle. That's not the excitement I want anyway though. I want to feel the success of putting "the end" on the last page of my book. I want the satisfaction in knowing that a character I created not only met the challenge as laid out in my story, but did so in a way that has a reader imagining the possibilities. I like the mental challenge in planning a kick ass get away with a meager budget, and then coming in  even below that financial line, and having had an even better time than imagined. I want to have conversations with friends and strangers over how we are going to solve the economy, the job crisis, the refugee situation, and then put those ideas into action, but not through the agenda of someone or some ideas I disagree with, just because it's my job. Regardless of my current back story, I'm ready for the next chapter. 

I like these two different "Life is a Book" quotes. Each give me a little infusion of adrenaline to want to keep turning pages and not be satisfied with just my back story. The top meme, encourages keeping on, even when things are not great. The bottom quote, inspires endless possibilities. Together, I like where this book is going.



6 comments:

  1. My job is like that too. Lots of boring days, but lots of stress and some fun when I get to actually concentrate on one project and program...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. With my job, I thought I was taking a job that was managing a very large, very visible program, but every decision I need to make has about 10 people above me weighing in, often without the lens of what policy is, but more form the perspective of "how will we look?"

      Delete
  2. I don't have a good paying job. But, I like the job. It is unfortunate that most people feel stressed at work and do not like their job.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think for me, it is just such a different impact/authority than I had before, and I admit I get frustrated with soft ball policies, and trying to placate the lowest common denominator. I generally like my job, just get very bored by it and the wheels move so slooooow. I just need to make sure I fill my non work times with brain games and activities that stimulate me where my job does not.

      Delete
  3. The only way I survived my teaching career was that I was the Queen of my Classroom. I was the only Special Ed teacher in my highschool and no one else interfered with what I was doing because they didn't have the knowledge or the background to do so. Of course there was a large share of crap and stupid procedures but I was the person in charge.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I do policy work, and even though policy has been established, some people don't get it, so miss dates, rules, then complain up the food chain that policies are unfair or wrong.Then a Pandora's box opens and were sent running around analyzing and rewriting policies, or creating work around. Nonsensical.

      Delete

Join the conversation. Your respectful comments are welcome. Spam and advertising products or services without permission will be deleted, as will anything deemed hurtful to others. A change, I moderate comments older than three days to be sure I read them all and stay ahead of the spam. If you're a blogger, feel free to include your blog URL.