Saturday, April 22, 2017

Other People and Keeping Zen


I want to stay zen. I'm struggling this morning.You are all my sounding board for this rant.  My daughter has been run through the ringer with her friends bachelorette party and crappy behavior of friends of her friend. These are girls that my daughter doesn't really know, yet she as maid of honor, is coordinating all the details. Several are complaining they are too busy and only want to go to the dinner, or just the class, or just the bar hopping. Fine, has been DD1's attitude, providing an itinerary to all of where they will be and at what times so those coming late are accommodated. For those parts that require registration and payment, they just need to pay their portion and show up. First though, she needed accurate counts for the Spa class and for hotel rooms. 

After multiple follow-up, back and forth with girls that are practically strangers, a week ago she provided a summary of who she had for what part of the party, but was emphatic she needed to know immediately any last changes or all would be locked in. She's coordinating the final details all while dealing with a business trip for work. She woke up to a last minute e-mail cancellation from a girl that had requested her own room. DD1 was panicked because cancellation had to be made by last night, before 11:00 p.m. and she was reserving on her card, so thought she was going to be stuck paying. An hour later, she had resolved it, but it didn't start her day off well, and by proxy of helping her resolve, mine. She will appreciate the bath bomb she will be making later.

The cabin continues to be a pain. Another Thursday spent by DH taking care of issues there, none of our house issues here. This morning I learned the room I thought we were going to have, slightly away from the outside chaos since one side would be along the marshy area of the lake, is now going to be his brothers. His sister already had claimed an upstairs room, (two floors up from the room I thought we were going to have six months ago), again away from the outside noise. We have no young children, yet have the room with the most activity near it and least amount of calm. The deck and boathouse obstruct any view of the water. In the scheme of things it is not a big deal, someone would be in that room, but I'm  irritated DH didn't speak up again. Nothing changes in his families dynamics; he will always be the silent sibling, ending up with what's left after his brother and sister get their preferences. I know I sound like a petulant child. 

Today is Saturday and filled with sun with a full day to get my own agenda filled. I'm trying out a project management tool for what I hope to accomplish, backing up my plan to a 11:00 bed time. After the room booking issue was resolved, DD1 and I had a cup of coffee together. She's heading to her friends house to spend some one on one time before they meet the rest of the girls mid afternoon. I need to build a long walk into my project plan, remembering I am responsible for my own inner calm and not let other people ruin my wish to hold onto it.


6 comments:

  1. This is why I am urging my daughter to elope! That's what my husband and I did and we saved all that money for a downpayment on our house. We still had a nice wedding though, albeit with a Justice of the Peace. We went to Big Sur arranged the JP & venue. I still wore a wedding dress (a simple one that cost less than $150), had my bouquet, husband in a nice suit. It was lovely. Then we had an casual, yet elegant dinner with our families altogether. It was all no hassle, no stress.

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    1. My daughter will very well do that if she decides to get married. She has done so much to make her friends wedding time special. These other girls, particularly two others in the wedding party have been rude and self centered. Her friend though seems very appreciative of my daughter and that's what matters I guess.

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  2. I guess the challenge of zen is finding it among all of this.
    I suppose zen wouldn't count if it were easy?

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    1. A state of another being-Yes difficult to find and hold onto. Have you found it?

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  3. Hoping all works out for your daughter--how frustrating!It sounds like some of the girls are totally appreciative of all the work that goes into planning.
    I get it with the cabin issue. I need my space to keep a little of my sanity. My husband's family foes not understand why someone would want alone time instead of constant chaos. Many times we have had no say in the planning or arrangements. Wishing you calm.
    Susan

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    1. To be honest, the cabin is now 5 months past original completion date so all are just tired of it. I wanted my house worked on and DH is still focused there.This latest added salt to my wounds.

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