Friday, June 16, 2017

Feeling Good Friday-Fake It 'Til You Make It Edition

Funk, mood swing, melancholy, call it what you want but my mood has been gray for the last day and 1/2. Another extended family thing that I could not get out of sucked all my reserves last night. I had a major professional snub this week, which makes me question my work relevance. Suddenly minor things that I feel are off or not quite right in my life took on weight, and sunk my emotions to the bottom of the deepest caves in my mind. I want to, need to, use today to get out of it, and focus on my health, particularly after my crash last night, mental health. I don't think a cure for mental health issues is to just slap a smile on your face, pretend everything is good, and get on with it, but for me, wallowing in it just drags the mood swing out longer. To the end game of making my weekend one of rejuvenation, this Feeling Good Friday, I'm going to fake feeling healthy and positive, and with hope, by Sunday night, I'll feel healthy and positive again. 

1. V had to cancel out on me twice this week, both Sunday night and Wednesday. I can't say I wasn't disappointed. She battles some mental health issues as well, which manifest into physical symptoms. However, on Sunday, I took a longer walk by myself than I might otherwise have, pushed myself an extra 1/2 mile or so. Wednesday when V cancelled, I was even more disappointed, but my sweet little DD2 rallied around me  and went with me. It was absolutely lovely talking and walking with her.  

2. In walking with DD2 she shared some news. Guess what? She has her first date next Wednesday, the first night their schedules matched. This is a show choir boy and he was also in the play so they have a lot in common and are pretty good friends. It was pretty obvious to me chaperoning the show choir days, or taking pictures after the play and concerts, that he had a little crush on her. Apparently asking a girl out by text is the thing. I like that my girls confide things in me (that I'm now sharing all over the Internet), but I was specifically told not to be weird about this. Knowing my kids trust and love me help over ride my gray emotions.

3. Here's a weird one for getting into my Feeling Good Friday notes, but any of you bigger chested gals will appreciate this. I splurged and bought two new, fitted to me, bras. I've been washing and circulating through about three, one of which doesn't quite do the job. I will trash that one, but use the other two still in a pinch. I just bought two as they are so expensive, so I'll still be washing one each night,and circulating between the two. Keeping "my girls" where they are supposed to be instead of touching my belly button surely will give me a boost of self esteem. 

4. I've finally added some core/abdomen strengthening to my exercise. Not much yet, but two times a day I'm doing a 10 minute circuit of exercises I was taught with physical therapy for my back. Hopefully I'll build it up to 15 over the remainder of June. In July, I'd like to add some low weights to my walking and while I'm doing the ab exercises. In my last Fab, Fit, Fun box, there was an on line code for a work out site. I think I'll give that a try today. 

5. Last, despite a little binge Wednesday night, actually a big binge (remember that funk I started out the post talking about), the scale moved in the right direction. I didn't quite hit my first milestone, but my loss for the week was 2.2 pounds, bringing my total since April 28th to 11.8 pounds. I feel successful yet the negative Nelly in me is chastising myself for letting my body go so far and for so long before doing anything about it. That's the defeatist attitude my moodiness brings out, but today, I need to pretend Nelly has left the building.  

Writing is so therapeutic for me. Being able to own my self described bitchiness, but knowing I don't like that feeling, is in itself helpful in processing my gray days. As always, you are all gems for reading, and I think next week will be better. 

 

15 comments:

  1. Congrats on your weightloss! Staying active definitely is what is keeping me on track, so nice of your DD to go with you. I have the dog/Mom/Hubby. My dog loves being dragged around as long as it isn't rainy or windy (I don't like to walk then either). Fake it until you make it does work, not easy but it does.

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    1. While pup is always wanting a good walk, he is virtually useless for a good calorie burning/power walk. too much sniffing and peeing and nosiness. My hubs is on his feet and walks miles in a day so is not up to taking one for fun, but I did get him to walk a bit by the river last night.

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  2. Wow over 11 and a half pounds you should feel bloody chuffed with yourself. I am following a woman of 56 on Instagram who does yoga she didn't start until 49 now she teaches etc she's fabulous and has motivated me to re-commence I used to do it for years then somehow lost the habit but now I'm back on the posture lol it makes me feel good and is the quickest way to tone up I love it. I can't blog like you I've completely lost the plot with blogging still have all my trip to write up but love Instagram more I think. Don't worry about the grey days Sam just accept that's how you feel and go with it and if you need to wallow in it do so until you find yourself coming out of it. Grey days and unhappy feelings are normal and motivate us to make changes in our life and our way of thinking so don't beat yourself up X

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    1. The site I mentioned has some Yoga videos as well. I will check them out and if I like, perhaps take some classes. I'll just keep trying things and see what work and I trust your recommendations.

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  3. A 2.2 pound loss this week is FANTASTIC!!!! Way to go. I on the other hand gained 2 pounds. :( Sorry you are feeling down. It happens.

    I chuckled at your comments about buying your new bras. I am also very large chested and I have found one brand of bra that fits me well and so when I can buy it on sale I will buy 2 or 4 (usually they go on sale early in the year.) I have friends who don't understand that I have to buy them online because stores around here don't carry my size. So I know exactly how you feel when you get a new bra that fits!

    I hope this weekend brings some better feelings for you! Hang in there!

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    1. It is a constant problem with the front area! A work colleague/friend who had a breast reduction said she lost 6 pounds in each one-I feel like I can imagine. Keep at it Rachel, but as long as you are feeling good abut your health, I know all too well the pounds can slip back on, but I won't stress out this time.

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  4. I've had many gray days, especially this past year with my job. One day was so bad, I came home and laid on the floor of my walk in closet with the door shut for about a half an hour. (Yeah, I didn't blog about that, lol). I found out recently from one of my co-workers that the other two ladies had it in for me from the start, so now I know it wasn't my imagination. Good news though! One of them just gave her notice and is not coming back next year. I made it! I survived! I took a giant hit to my self confidence, but I didn't give up and now I can look forward to a better year and build myself back up again. So, don't let the turkeys get you down. And congratulations on your weight loss. That's a huge accomplishment. I know because I have been trying without any success.

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    1. I'm so sorry you ever had to put up a minute of that behavior. Some days I do just want to stay in a dark room, but life doesn't work like that, or well.

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  5. Congratulations on your weight loss, you are doing really well, and hey, if your boobs are only laying on you belly button and not your knees consider yourself positively skinny! But bras!!!! Yuck, you see a pretty bra (probably modelled by a 16 year old and when the bring it out in your size you realize you could lug two water melons home in it! I am a pretty positive person but I think the menopause does hammer women sometimes with depression. I finally realized that for me it will happen when I am tired - I have to learn to make "me time" a priority, which considering I know live alone - how come I don't allow myself down time right? Keep your chin up (and those boobs). Anna

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    1. This made me laugh-and thank you for being able to relate! I and better after getting more fresh air, but you are on to something with being tired bringing out the worst of my moods. Heat of day does not bother me, but I am struggling getting decent sleep at night.

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  6. Well done on the weight loss! Your first paragraph pretty much summed up how I felt at work most days, how pleased I was to take redundancy. Now I do still feel stuck in a rut occasionally but have to self motivate to get out of it, which can be harder but at least it is something I can take control of. Onwards and upwards!

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    1. Self motivating is necessary for me as well. I am feeling less down today, Saturday, not perky, but tolerable to be around myself at least. I'd stop working for others and do my own thing in a minute if we didn't need the health insurance coverage through me.

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  7. Aye, writing is therapeutic.
    I am glad to have it shared with us/me.

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    1. I appreciate people reading and understanding the moodiness happens to us all. Writing and walking seem to be my therapies.

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  8. About 30 years ago, a friend lived with me after my divorce for monetary benefit to both of us. I bought bras at WM that cost $3.50 and could be wadded up in my hand so it was hidden. She bought huge $35 bras that had very formed cups. She hung hers over a coat hanger to dry. I complained that mine always slid off. She said, "Have you really looked at mine? they cannot slide off." Now that I am a little larger and need a bigger size, I cannot find one big enough around that has small enough cups. I bought one to fit in front and put two bra extenders, and it squashed my breasts flat. So, I am taking a $2.68 tank top with spaghetti straps to make something to cut down on the jiggle factor. I am 70, almost 71 and never needed ANY support until I turned 70. This won't give a lot of support and I don't need much, but it will not hurt me like most bras do.

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