Tuesday Rant About Teens

Even a good kid can drive a parent a little bonkers from time to time. We did not have a great start back to school after the break. I get a panicked call yesterday at 4:45 from DD2. Now first of all, no parent wants panicked calls. The worst goes through your head. This was not great, but truly not the end of the world. She lost her keys. She had sort of retraced her steps, but was not thinking very clearly. I had to pick her up, go home, find the other keys, then go back with her for show choir. On the drive home I asked her a few questions, about her search process, and where she checked. Every question it seemed was answered, "I didn't think about that." and  my questions just got her more upset, These were some obvious things I would think she would have attempted to do before calling me. I made a not so nice, but parental comment, which I now wish I would have reworded. "I worry about your life skills sometimes." The tears came flowing. "I'm sorry I'm stupid." She calmed down, and I explained what I meant. She needs to be more problem solving focused. She needs to not get upset before options are explored. She needs to have back-up plans.

Things calmed down, though she now was worried about how much it was going to cost to re key the car and change the house locks. Being so concerned, one would think DD2 would have back tracked this morning to all her classes right away. No. She was going to ask each teacher one at a time as the day progressed. Fortunately they turned up, but had been left in her 7th hour class. A friend that had the teacher earlier thought to ask on her behalf, picked them up and brought them to 4th hour choir. 

Today she came home briefly, though in case they didn't show up, I was also home to let her in the house. She needed to go back for Vocal Jazz at 3:45, then eat quick, then get ready for Show Choir finale night.I gave her cash to give her friends mom who was picking up Jimmy John's sandwiches. As she was leaving I asked if she remembered her money, since her hands were full. "You never gave me the money." Now, I forget things too, but I was sure I handed it to her. She grabbed some of her own quick, and left, five minutes later than she should have. I looked around as to where I might have put the cash down if I hadn't given it to her, which again I was sure I had. A light bulb went off in my head. She was eating a donut out of a paper bakery bag when I handed it to her. Just maybe, she accidentally tossed the cash with the bag. Sure enough, there was a $5 and four $1 bills folded together on top of the bakery bag in the garbage can. I can't wait to tell her where I found the money.

I'm a mean mom for my quote yesterday, and do feel bad. It wasn't the lost keys, no less than three times a week are keys being left in work bathrooms or conference rooms, but how she went about, or didn't go about, problem solving. I sometimes do worry how she can be an accomplished student and performer, but often leaves the street smarts behind. 18 out of 20 times, she eventually figures things out on her own, does the right thing, the wise thing. Still, those two in 20 things are piling up this week and it's only Tuesday.