I'm going to start formal therapy again, both for physical pain, but also for my mental health. I'm not pleased with the fact that the co-payment for both is $60 out of pocket, a trade off for keeping a more favorable monthly premium and an individual and family cap that won't bankrupt a family should the worst happen. It's additional cash flow expense we don't need right now. Still, I need to be healthier for my family and for myself. It is no good having a good life if I am not in either a physical or mental state to appreciate what I have. I need to get my mind retrained with better coping mechanisms and I need corrections to the core strengthening exercises that I try and keep up with, but think my bad posture and position is doing more harm than help.
I'll be doing quite a bit of faking it on my blog, still trying to write about food prep, recipes, and meal planning, money matters, and the use of time. Know though I'll have days I feel like writing and may crank out several posts and schedule them over a course of a few days. I'll keep chiming in on other blog sites, keeping this camaraderie going that has become important to me. Other times, I'll feel like wallowing in my bed, and the most creative outlet I'll have is binge watching someone else's creativity on YouTube. I'll be OK though, accepting whatever help I am offered to get past the mental and physical pain that just seems overwhelming today.
You know, I can hear the sadness in your post right now but you know what, if therapy is what it takes to get you back on track then go for it. Consider it another non-negotiable expense. I have a good job, great kids and live in a beautiful part of the world and sometimes (and I'm ashamed to say this) I feel down, though thankfully not often. Sometimes I am lonely because I am on my own but mostly I prefer it that way and then I think about all the people who don't even have enough to eat. What do I have to feel down about? Nothing right. I think we are allowed to be down sometimes but if having an expert is what it takes to help us get past that then so much the better. Good luck, you'll be back on your feet soon I'm sure. Anna
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry Sam - I know how hard it is to feel like you "have it altogether" but you don't feel like you do. I recently started counseling myself and I've only had 1 session so don't know if it will help or not, but I do know talking to a person who has no idea what has/is going on in your life or any preconceived notions about you makes it easier to open up.
ReplyDeleteJust know you are not alone and sometimes if binge-watching is what your mind/body need - DO IT!!!! As mom's it is really hard trying to be everything to everybody and sometimes we have to focus a little time on ourselves in order to be any good to anyone else!!!
We are here for you and some of us are walking the same journey so we'll get through it together!!!
Big hugs and good thoughts coming your way. I haven't struggled with the mental side, but definitely with the physical side. It can really be challenging to stay positive, when you are feeling anything but.
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