Besides the pre-vacation anxiousness I usually have trying to make sure all ducks are in a row at work and things at home are taken care of, tangley red tape and action paralysis filled each of my work days so far this week. We also had a credit card issue because of the third party pay system for our apartment in Belgium; our my credit card declined twice the transaction. I was worried for two days that we would arrive in Brussels with no place to stay. Monday was hectic getting DD2 off to choir camp. She was overwhelmed as was I, myself having a little panic/anxiety attack after leaving town later than planned, hitting a detour, and then going the wrong part of campus to check her in. The format was different than other types of camps she has ever participated in and being painfully shy, she was acutely aware that other girls seemed to have peers from their school, and while she had her guy friends, they were housed completely separately. She called Monday night very sad, just walking around during the free time because she couldn't find the guys and was too shy to connect with others. Nerves got to her, but since then I have had just a reassuring text that things were better, and an inside joke text about our vacation.
Regular stress and bothers that everyday, every one deals with. In my head though, I often go to the worst case scenario, which is what leads to the anxiety. I'd like to have a more relaxed, chill, some might say, attitude. When I am very tired, it's exasperated. I take any small issue, disruption, inconvenience, and think it won't be resolved and it's only going to get worse. I make figurative mountains out of molehills. I recognize this in myself and can acknowledge this. Breaking the cycle has been harder, but I'm trying through some tools and coping strategies.
One tool, I'll call Plan for the Possible. Yesterday, I spent 15 minutes before leaving work listing all the areas of my work that might need attention and intervention while I am gone. Today I have a team meeting and on the agenda is back-up and coverage. Might something fall through the cracks? Yes, and probably will, but this will minimize my anxiety being away, and prepare someone else to help pick up the ball. Last night I also printed on paper, even though everything is electronic, all our itineraries, confirmation codes, and even tickets, and ordered them by needed date. Tonight I will do a time table to sort out where we need to be by what time. Knowing our transitions are well planned for will help me fully escape into the vacation. Imagining the possible scenarios or snags and adding back-up will help me even more so.
Monday's stress of getting DD2 to camp was amplified by the credit card problem and one of the pesky work decision-no decision issues. Really though, I had planned buffer times in several places, and we adapted our plans to eat lunch in town and just grabbed a bite on campus. We even got to the 1:30 program well ahead of many people. Had I not already been high strung by the start to my day, the confusion and detours would have only been blips instead of unnecessary self induced panic. I'm a work in progress.