Happy Friday all. I'm the manager on call so will work late for a Friday, this afternoon, staying on until 5:00. DD2 is on campus this weekend, and DH works both today and tomorrow so I guess it's just me. No distractions or excuses tomorrow for getting stuff done. I am knocking on wood, but as of this morning, I'm feeling optimistic about my family business and chaos, but of course the realist in me knows shoes can fall anytime. I feel a pragmatic approach to life, looking at options and applying common sense, is still warranted. Here's my musings for this Friday.
Buy Nothing Groups/ Community Pages
Do you belong to Buy Nothing Groups? We don't have one here and the closest has very tight geographic boundaries. I don't need anything, but would love to give things I don't need to someone who could use it. Of course I could donate but our local family service is stocked and has limited drop off, and I've mixed thoughts about both Goodwill and Salvation Army. I was pleased my daughter took the Instant Pot. Sure, I could have learned how to use, maybe loved it, but it's sat for three years. There's likely more stuff sitting unused for years in the garage I can pass to her or someone else.
It seems this time of year, these But Nothing or community page notices could be a great way to support people in our communities. Sharing extra produce, practically like new but outgrown school clothes, uniforms, athletic equipment, forwarding on extra school supplies are all posts I've seen in our local Facebook page. DD2 has some very nice clothes that while still fit, are a bit young for her. As she's so small, older children could probably wear her passed along items. I need to gather more and reach out to a few people I know that have 10-12 year olds about her size.
I had a work friend that regularly passed on clothes to my girls. (Her girls were 10 years apart in age as well.) The bottoms were never right for my youngest because of a 10 inch height difference. A church friend was ecstatic to get several like new pants and skirts for her nearly 6 foot tall daughter, so I passed on to her. I passed my girls clothes on to other coworkers with younger/ smaller kids than mine.
Stages of Life Changes
It's been over a full week since my daughter fully moved into her house. The Organizational Manager in me looks at these huge life changes through the four stages of functionality: storming, forming, norming, and performing. I hope storming was the house hunting, offer reversal, inspection etc. leading to close. Post closing and moving in, she's in the forming stage. Likely this will be a while as she really needs to get through a quarter or even a full year cycle of the ups and downs of home ownership, before she'll feel totally like she's gotten a rhythm, the norming stage. Then once she's got that full experience, sets funds aside for future projects, has her routines established for maintenance, knowing the ins and outs of her community, and makes it her own, she'll be in that performing stage.
I think this applies to other walks of life, starting college, graduation and new job, marriage, having children. Of course how long each stage lasts is as varied as individuals. I think I'll forever be in a forming, or perhaps norming stage and never get to performance when it comes to my home and my personal life.
Pot Stirring
In my, even if cautious, more optimistic mindset, I feel more honed in on seeing needless drama. I mean the pot Stirring, taking simple or even benign situations to try and get rises out of others. I don't get it. There's enough real crap to fuel energy and passion, but looking for a cause or fight when there's none to be had seems pointless. I guess that's a bit in the eye of the beholder, but I've got a couple pot stirrers at work. I had a pot stirring moment with one of the end of the road neighbors too. Maybe she was feeling like DH and I harbor ill fillings since the bike thing and was trying to deflect by raising an issue with my next door neighbors cat. We just want to drive in and out, enjoy our home and yards. I don't want Real Housewives of Minnesota drama. Stir the pot elsewhere, I'm too old for it.
That's my Friday thoughts for the week. Being on call means a few extra interruptions in the day, but it's only every five weeks or so. I think I'll grocery shop tonight so I'm uninterrupted tomorrow. I'm off until September 6 after today and cleaning and helping my daughter get ready for her travels, I plan to enjoy! Join in with your Friday Free for All thoughts.
Iove my buy nothing group! Both for giving and getting large and small.
ReplyDeleteIt's such a smart way to help each other out and reduce clutter and stuff that ends up in the garbage.
DeleteI think the internet has given people more freedom to be/feel/act dramatic. i find it in myself, as much as anyone else, although I try to rein it in. That carries over to other aspects of life, in person.
ReplyDeleteMy work is incredibly dramatic, and not in a good way, right now. Everyone is unhappy & miserable, and my meetings with the team are an expression of that. It's my job to listen & be supportive, but inside, it's pretty hard to sit through many of those meetings, when my hands are tied for 90% of the stuff making their lives difficult.
I'm heading to my Japan entry COVID test this morning. After that, I can complete the final steps in my application process. Fingers crossed. Not excited to go, but after all this work, I want it done!
I can't get imagine how difficult to begin so much international travel again. I hope it goes well. I hope I find a filter button that tells me when I'm creeping into dramatic stage. If not impacting work, I've tried to claim ignorance.
DeleteI slept in til 8 today, lingered over coffee and texted a few people, got a nice shower. Puttering around the house for a bit before I pop into kohls to use a $5 reward and 20% off coupon to buy some fall hand towels for like $2 and then over to Crumbl Cookie, where I have a $10 reward to grab some cookies to take up to my daughter this afternoon!
ReplyDeleteIt was supposed to be a girls day but dh misses her something terrible so he’s coming too. Once we go shopping I think he’ll not miss her quite so much lol. Depending on weather this evening we may stop downtown for a walk or a drink. Or both! Tomorrow is my ASM’s last day, so I’m going to stop in Sam’s to get her flowers. It’s also the last day of the county fair so we may go there. Re:pot stirrers. I joined a college parents Facebook page at the urging on my daughter. I avoided fb for all these years but I’ll admit it has been very helpful. Lately, there have been two grown men who have to comment on every post that Google is free, don’t be a helicopter parent, they’ll figure it out, blah blah blah. It was getting disheartening, since we were mostly first time parents and people were asking honest questions hoping to pass advice on to their kids, not handle their problems for them. The admin stepped in the other day and basically said Enough is Enough. That he’s been running the page for a long time, has no problem answering anyones questions, and to take the negativity elsewhere. He handled it so well and the rude comments have since stopped. JoAnn
The parents groups were good to help acclimate yourself to changes as much as students. Helicopter parenting recently came up in my daughter's friend group. I asked her point blank if she felt I overstepped. It was nice to hear she felt supported but that I let her do her own things/ form her own plans. I hope work doesn't become more stress for you. How did it work out for you to take the position, on your terms?
DeleteI used to work with someone who constantly "stirred the pot" and thrived in the chaos it created and then had the audacity to complain about what a cluster fluff her life was! She couldn't see, or opted not to, that she created most of the adversity herself and it was disgusting to see the light in her eyes when she would share the story. I put my foot down when it came to situations at work and highly advised that she keep her opinions to herself, when it related to people she worked with every day. I cleaned up more than a couple of her messes, when she failed to heed my advise. She ended up in my department because others chose not to deal with her. I seemed to attract this type of personality, as she was not the only employee that ended up in my department, when others couldn't cope. Or maybe I was good at dealing with this type of personality? To say I was exhausted at the end of the day, would be putting it mildly. I am proud to say, I was successful with one of the two that I worked with at this same company. The one who thrived on it, ended up having an affair with the husband of a different employee, in my department, and after their marriage fell apart, married him. The chaos ensues, I'm sure. I no longer work there, nor does she. Ranee
ReplyDeleteI've fortunately not had that much drama and pot stirring at work. This is more the game of telephone and a couple folks intentionally changing the dialogue to fit a particular agenda. I don't like it. They know what they're trying to do and hope no one notices. Then, if it's called out, the go to is, I misunderstood. Based on my neighbors little pot stir, I can tell a faction of young families are trying to be the gate keepers of what's acceptable and what's not in the Cul de sac. Us oldies won't go there.
DeleteI worked with someone who's values and culture clashed with the team, and she abruptly left a little over a year ago. It's been challenging rebuilding the team morale. We're going to take a hit because one of my coworker's is retiring, but they are actively recruiting, however, our salary ranges are not truly competitive.
ReplyDeleteIt's tough when the salary and benefits aren't in line with what the scope of work requires. Different people with different backgrounds will always join teams. It's tough being a new person, and can be tough letting new people bring themselves fully without rocking the current dynamics. That sounds like HR should have provided resources to help. On the job, it should be about work outcomes and aptitude and abilities.of course people want to like colleagues, but that might not always be the case.
DeleteI will not deal with drama. Never have. Life is too short. The people that live like that are usually very unhappy soul sucking people that I do not want to be around at all.
ReplyDeleteYou're a smart one to not let yourself get drawn in.
DeleteI'm not sure if it's pot stirring but I became very, very tired of a couple of friends (one I was pretty close with) because of their constant gossiping. Actually I suspect I may be the subject of their gossip right now but then my back is broad! I just find it all so tiring! And as for getting rid of stuff. do you have a Freecycle group near you? Just a thought - they are all over the place round here!
ReplyDeleteGossipping can be pot stirring if the gossipers are trying to get the other party to get caught up in some dispute, or build on ill will. Knowing all the gossip just because its something some people thrive in. My MIL does, but I don't see her as trying to stir pots. She just likes to be the one to share information. I call it often just gossip! Now my one sister, when she shares stuff, there's a reason. She wants folks to know her view and opinion, and tries to suck you in to agree that she or who she's defending was wronged.
DeleteLike some women said in the church--it is not gossip, it's just Christian concern. lol Actually, sometimes it does help to know what is happening to help people. But, you know, mostly people like to point fingers.
DeleteI had a woman try to be friends with me and I rebuffed her, thinking she was too much trouble. About 20 years later, I was thrown in with her somehow and she wanted to be friends again. That was the biggest mistake in friends I have ever made. About two years later, maybe four, I decided I had to scrape her off my plate. But, she dogged me online and out in stores. The final blow to me was when we came across each other in a department store. I tried to ignore her. She broke down whining about how she really loved me and did not understand why I did not love her. Yikes! The stares we drew because she was loud and almost in tears. From then on I just had to turn away because she was all set for the same scene. I am not one who like scenes anywhere, especially from a woman declaring her love for me. Yikes!
ReplyDeleteShe sounds like she had more issues than just a flare for drama. Hopefully she got help and you've been clear of interactions.
DeleteSAM,
DeleteI found out from here that she was mentally ill. No, she will not let anyone help her. That was the last time I came face to face with her. I could write a book about that woman. After a while I felt sorry for her, but there was no way to gently help her or ignore her.
Do you really have a pot/cauldron like this one? I would like one.
ReplyDelete