Last year about this time, I wrote about my hopelessness on the subject of creating a downshifted life in 2015. 2015-A Year Meant for Downshifting reviewed all the areas I thought were still in a rut, comparing my then life to a roller coaster with incredibly slow efforts to reach a peak or milestone, but then fast and jarring descents into abysmal lows. I have had some bluesy weeks in December, which followed the dreariness of November, physically, mentally, and artistically. However, as I sit and reflect, rereading last years posts, trying to find my end of year wrap up thoughts to put down in words, I realize 2016 has been a fairly successful year. Don't get me wrong, the valleys were definitely there and my mind is still full of useless brain pollution that robs me from being able to fully appreciate what I do have in life. Last year I wanted to focus on several areas as opposed to creating a list of New Year's resolutions. I deemed them my life list, and each is still valid; each needs to be maintained as I continue to downshift my life, exorcise the clutter, and infuse the quality of my experiences.
Health-Despite my weight struggles, I am 8 pounds lighter than January 1, 2016. I have seven more weeks, I think, of my virtual health plan, and it is still doable to hit the 7% weight loss by the end of it, or at least get on a track to keep the momentum going. I had a set back right in the middle of it, so know if I want results, I'll have to work harder now. Two specific areas of focus are to build muscle and stamina.
Organization-We purged so much in 2016, and need to keep that up.The one thing in, two things out mantra I was aiming for, is still a target. I'm adding figuring how to reduce mail clutter to the mix.
Money Management-No changes here from last year. Spend less than we earn. Give generously. Invest wisely.I previously wrote about lofty 2017 savings goals here. Reality is setting in and all three of us decided Ireland for DD2 in the spring of 2018 is off the list, but we are keeping the goal of a 2018 vacation, hopefully to the Mediterranean, either land, or sea, or possibly both. This will shave about $250 a month, or $3,000 from our target, but shh, don't tell my savings account that.
Social connectedness-I didn't do great with this one the second half of 2016. I backed out of many group events, and didn't see some friends as much as I would have liked. Yet, with continued improved organization, I hope I am brave enough to have the impromptu girls night in, couples soup dinner, and burgers and beer on the deck.
Advance my skills-I'm still looking for a writing class or too. I'll attend the Blogger's conference again in the fall. I'm throwing a new goal out-learn to crochet. A work friend is trying valiantly to teach me, and if I get no further than dish rag making stage, I will be happy.
My life list 2017 looks just like my list last year. I'm betting next year will be the same. It is a journey, not a destination. Where is your journey taking you? Any words of encouragement to push me uphill?
No wallowing in self deprecating thoughts. Remembering that those that matter tend to not be bothered by my idiosyncrasies. Be kinder to those around me, friend and stranger alike. Give more to the poor. Hug puppies. Smile at cute children. Ya Da Ya Da Ya Da. I've been here before. All the promise of a fresh start and becoming a better person in the new year. Well, despite my bad habit of mind somersaults that wake me up at night and keep me from being refreshed, I am not feeling a need to dive into the world of self improvement in 2016. Eating better, sleeping better, moving more-all good things that do not need a new year to start focusing on. Learning that crap and clutter in my house that is not in use even on a semi routine basis has no business in my home will be a lifelong battle. I know that, so lamenting and setting stretch goals on January 1 about decluttering will not aide me in home improvement, just removing something instead of putting it on a shelf or in a box will.
So if I have no New Year resolution, what am I going to be thinking about in 2016? Here;s a 1/2 year preview.
January: Show choir season starts for DD#2. Hopefully January will be met with lucrative job offers for DD3 and DS. Not getting massively sick is a great aspiration. The year of 50 Birthday's continues with two get together's in this month alone on the calendar.
February: State Choir concert for DD#2-where she keeps those big lungs in that tiny little body, I'll never know. We're thinking of a long weekend in February combined with Presidents Day-maybe somewhere just a few hours away near a state or regional park and getting some snowshoes-or just a good hot tub.
March: DD#2 will be gone for a week. I think I will combine a vacation day with my day off, and have a good spring clean with one less person to work around. I live an exciting life so I must schedule these things.
April: Decision time on how to spend Easter. The sister-in-law that I had the clash with has been the host the last few years, and it has been a stressful day. My sister hosts a brunch so perhaps we will just forgo anything on the other side. Maybe by then, all will be fine again.
May: Opening the cabin, but this time, with a lot of purging as this is being torn down, and a new year round home being put up in it's place. This is a leftover item from my father-in-laws wishes and will start in August. Mother's Day to get through-still hard when I have no mother.
June: Summer officially kicks off, and we get the three hot months of the year. I like sun and heat, and the fighting over windows or air conditioning with the hubs will be a daily battle. I'll live on my deck again.
Along with this, I'll keep blogging, and keep at it to move the other project forward, truly using my extra non-work time to invest in something potentially lucrative for me. I'll join in some of the blog challenges you all post on occasion, as I like a little healthy competition. I plan to enjoy fun activities and events in my immediate area, and other than a little get away, save travel money the first half of the year for a big trip in August. Who else is posting about their year ahead? If you don't blog, just leave your thoughts in the comment-I'd love to read your plans.
The last five years have been roller coasters so I wasn't expecting 2015 to be different. However, this was the year I proclaimed officially to move towards simplicity and formal efforts to downshift my life. Is there a quote about feeling like an epic failure once you have officially declared an intent and then nothing changed? If I admit it, I feel less in control of my life than I did a year ago. The waking up in the middle of the night worried about so many things hasn't lessened. My mind just seems to gravitate towards other things that keep it spinning.
While I no longer drive home from work with a mix of stress, anger, and exhaustion, I haven't really come to terms with the financial change the shift in cash flow the job change has meant for my family. This leads me to allow my brain to stew in money woes. DH on the other hand seems to have picked up the work-life imbalance, and that gives me constant nervousness that he is not taking proper care of his health, giving me more fodder for my brain stew. I won't even touch on the roller coaster my adult children have been on, with me along for the metaphorical ride a few cars behind, hoping and praying that with each rise they have, that this time, perhaps the roller coaster won't go down.
A roller coaster is such a great metaphor for my life this past year. It seems like the high points were slow to build. I could almost hear each cog on the wheels turning at the beginning of the year when things were moving along well. Then, just when I felt a milestone was reached, whoosh, a fast descent downward, followed by a series of upward and downward curves happened one after the other. I'm ready to get off entirely in 2016.
For 2016, I am not going to make goals, but rather shift my thinking to areas of focus. My health and those of my family, physical and mental, has to be the number one place to begin. I've actually put on weight this year instead of early efforts to eat better and get more exercise. Something is not working whether that is still eating too many crap meals on the run, noshing on unhealthy foods after meals, or not fitting in exercise as I said I was going to. Mostly, a combination of all of these. Mental health will involve a focus on relationships-improving, repairing, or leaving behind. Mental health will also be pursuing activities that keep my mind active, but still allow me the occasional television or movie binge. I also am inspired by Aril at Gnat Bottomed Towers to use nature as inspiration for getting more exercise and guide eating.
The other focus area must be my home. I need to make it a place of refuge and contentment and not a cluttered field of disorganization that it has become. I want to have cozy nooks to read a book or magazine without having to move around clutter to find said book. I want my daughter to have a comfortable room that she hangs out with her friends or the family room back again for family movie nights Having little skill on the domestic front, I'm going to have to just dig up pure grit and tackle the tough stuff that has been neglected, or bite the bullet and hire things done. I want my office back, but also don't want to pressure DD#2 to vacate before she feels on firm ground.
I'll have no specific goals about losing weight or saving money, but both should be a natural byproduct of focusing on health and home. If I come across any ideas or resources on these front though that help me stay the course, I'll be sure to write about them. For those that set annual goals each year, how does that work for you? Do you group things together in buckets, or have concrete specific items you try and achieve?
Last Saturday DH and I had a frugal evening out at a local pizza and pasta chain. I frequent this place with a group of friends several times a year, and it is also a gift card vendor of choice for a couple organizations I volunteer with. I've previously signed up for the rewards program, and received a e-coupon for a free pizza last week. This, combined with using one of three gift cards I had stockpiled, provided dinner with beer and an appetizer for just the $10 tip. I'm never sure if you are supposed to use gift cards for tips or not, so we just left the $10, or 20% of the full bill without coupon. DD#2 rarely likes to go out for supper, and she was still basking in the glory of having received seven new books for Christmas and was in full marathon reading mode. The restaurant was busy, but not crowded so we could take the rare opportunity to linger and really discuss priorities for the coming year.
He is as equally tired of the clutter and backlog of procrastinated projects as I am. My health issue, on top of the scare we had three years ago with him, nudged us both to the reality that health and wellness has to be out on the top of the priority list. Knowing we are now in the final 4 years of having a child at home means jump starting savings to be earmarked for college again must be high as well. These are the practical, responsible things that we agree need to focused on. Then there are the more ethereal priorities-the ones that make the day to day special, meaningful, and help put the bad days into a new frame of reference as only being a minor blip.
Many of the barriers to truly living meaningful in the day to day are a direct result of the concrete and tangible being some what mucked up. Having friends drop in, sitting back with a bottle of wine, is not stress free when all you see are unfinished projects and messy clutter if not down right signs of poor housekeeping habits everywhere. Taking a long walk, a morning swim, or a game of tennis is difficult without the stamina, resulting in being wiped out as opposed to feeling invigorated. Fretting over any expense now, because of nagging fear of future tuition, induces guilt, robbing us of satisfaction.
These priorities will not be resolutions, but hopefully the result of my new resolves. I've decided that for my resolution for 2015, I will make efforts to develop better skills in the art of compromise and alternative choices or solutions. In terms of clutter control, there are hundreds of tips and strategies on the web, in magazine, on television and the newspaper. I don't have to master all-I just need to come up with a few compromises and options that work for me. I don't have to cook from scratch every night, but I do need to get the processed and overly chemicalized garbage out of my kitchen. The 10 for $10 side dishes are filling, but not nourishing, and they have to go. This will mean very basic meals on the busy nights, and probably quite a few pieces of toast and a banana eaten quickly before rushing out the door, but the reduction in salt, fat, and preservatives will be worth it. I don't need to run three miles before work each day, but I can actually take my lunch break as opposed to eating at my desk, and using 10-15 minutes of it for a brisk walk outdoors. We don't need to say no to plans and evenings out, but we can spend 1/3 as much and invite friends over for drinks and snacks as an alternative once in a while. Our $60 pizza and beer night is evidence of that.
With that, I'm kicking off 2015. It will be a year of new beginnings, as all new years are. I hit the mid century mark this year, and exciting and challenging events are on the horizon for friends and family. Those momentous events will sure to be etched in my memories for years to come. However, next year I want to look back and see more blurred lines between the calendar dates. I want every day to be meaningful in its own right. I think that is possible.
