Free Lance

Freelance:A person who pursues a profession independently, and not as the employee

 of an organization. Definition from The Collaborative International Dictionary

I love the term freelance.  The idea of being able to market  a talent or a skill, and then be able to select which job offers best meet your interest, time, and financial needs. Had I not made the change to my current job, I was on the verge of calling it quits anyway, and strike it on my own. Needing decent health insurance and  kid number three to put through college made the idea impractical and frightening, but not any more than continuing to work in an atmosphere of stress and pressure. My son, is a freelancer, though more because he is trying to establish his career, rather than having the luxury of picking and choosing what jobs he takes.

Even though I enjoy my job and the increased time it has allowed me, I want to develop a five year plan, that makes the option of self employment viable. In five years, I maximize all the long term benefits this job had to offer, things that impact my short term cash flow, but have massive long term features, so to jump before then would be short sighted. We have a savings goal of having all the tuition and room and board for DD#2 secured by or within her first year, of college. This is an essential part of the five year plan. There is the unknown of what college she picks and how much tuition inflates, but we're basing the goal on the cost to send our other two, with inflation. The big change in cash flow makes this an overwhelming task, but not impossible, since we have contributed something since she was born, just not enough.

Exploring what to '"freelance in, is part of my challenge. I have done a fair amount of project development and launch. There could be some gigs in that, particular in the fledgling non-profit sector where funding for start up and pilot programs are plenty, but sustainability funding is tough. There is a need for people that can hit the ground running, develop systems and operating procedures, and then exit, having helped the organization incorporate the work with existing personnel or funding streams. Essentially this is what my current position is, though the expectation is this will be a growing program with not just sustaining but increased investment. There is also the fund and resource development arm, territory I also have a back ground, though would not be apparent on my resume, through job titles. I'm helping a friend right by doing the leg work and grant writing for a program component for a very small charitable organization that she has started. I've done volunteer efforts like this in the past with success.

The charm right now is that I can explore possibilities, while feeling like I have a safety net under me. Nothing is a given though, so exploring and envisioning a freelance career is a safety net in and of itself. There is no such thing as a secure position and anyone can be made redundant at any time. Keeping the door open for self employment, freelancing, would help me know I have a back-up plan should one be needed. For those of you that made the decision to be self employed, what was the biggest challenge in making the change?  What keeps you awake at night?  If others are like me, exploring but not yet ready to strike out on  your own what is holding you back?  

picture from dreamstime.com

 

Life Alterations

There have been many points in my life that altered my course to where I am now. Any variation I might have made could have led to a much different life than I have today, or at least different people. I'm reflecting a lot on this as my count down to turning 50 continues. I am not bothered at all by the age thing, but I don't want to look back at anything I may or may not have done with regrets about my choices.  I am fortunate to say that overall, I don't have any. I had a slightly different educational path than others in my field of work have had, but here I am working alongside them, with a wealth of experience I wouldn't have had in a more traditional path. I started a family young, but what I lacked in experience, I made up for with more energy than when DD#2 came along, but by then I had willing helpers. These were the big life points, and then there were other decisions along the way, conscious or not.

Two times in my life I made the decision, and followed through, on losing weight. Both times I did this, it had a profound impact on how I lived. The first was when I was in high school, eating a very calorie laden diet of peanut butter sandwiches and chips for lunch, and a lot of pizza, tacos, and other junk food on the fly from school activities and part time jobs. At 16, I  had a hip and then ankle injury that caused me to sit out of team sports my last two years of high school. The injuries weren't that bad, but my level of skill didn't develop to be competitive on the team. I still ate like I was working out daily, and soon the pounds stayed on.  Losing weight before my senior year of high school, and then keeping it off going into my young adulthood slender and healthy, kept me from putting on the Freshman 15. I had energy for inter mural sports and aerobics classes and waitressing to pay my tuition and rent. I could do hiking dates with my new marathon running boyfriend, now husband. I carried these good habits into my first years as a wife and mother, until, I took my first job in an administrative office setting, as opposed to in the classroom.  Nine pounds a year over six years jelled onto my frame. With proper diet, and more activity and less watching, I was able to knock about 30 of those pound off. This meant I felt good and could take my kids camping and back packing when there was little money for any other vacations, and could spend late afternoons and evenings comfortably swimming at the pool.I had the energy to raise two kids, work full time, and go back  to school. Still, I went into my last pregnancy 20 pounds heavier than with either of the other kids, and there it, plus another 20, stayed after she was born. A few extra pounds here and there and twelve years later, I was at a weight that had moved beyond overweight into obese. 

I've shed about 12 pound from that highest weight after I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis and a degenerative disc in my lower back two years ago.  While I won't be "cured" the physical therapy routine did wonders on helping me strengthen what I can, and the exercise helped lose the first layer of extra padding, and I've mostly kept it off. I am now 45 if not really 55 pounds overweight considering I have a fairly small body frame. Each day I let it continue, I feel my quality of life diminished. I don't want anyone reading this to think I am judging others that are comfortable in their weight and have decided being thinner is just not a priority. For me, those last two significant losses, though neither to this amount, meant I could participate in more, for longer periods of time, than when I was heavier. Granted I am not chasing toddlers and preschoolers any more, and I have no ambition to be a college student again, but I do have great nieces and nephews, and eventually perhaps grand children to play with. I want vacations with walking tours and incredible places to see with steps to climb. 

I have the doctors clearance, as long as my numbers stay well, particularly iron and vitamin D, to start an aggressive diet plan, with continued exercise. She loved my 10,000 step goal and suggested I get some strength training in there as well, and as my knees can bear, a bit more cardio than just walking. I can't stress enough how important it is to talk with a knowledgeable medical expert-knowledgeable about my health history and can make suggestions appropriate for me. I received a referral to a nutritionist, who will help me make a flexible diet plan that will work with my lifestyle, and not have me reliant on too many different meals from my family. I'd love to lose the whole 50 by my birthday, which would be a 2 pound a week weight loss. Unrealistic probably, but with both increased exercise and better diet choices, 1 and 1/2 doesn't seem too far off base, and if not getting me at a normal BMI, within reach. This goal is in the blog, so it is real.  Wish me luck.

More of this...

...less of that.

I like this Body Mass Index  BMI calculator from the National Heart, Lung, and blood Institute. 

Auto pilot

I'm taking some time tonight to just pause, and go on auto pilot. The day was packed with managing the ups and downs at work of communicating the new structure of my company to the front line staff.  For some, it was a minor blip on their radar, while others felt like the changes were closer to an earth quake. I had some really sweet  responses by staff in departments that will no longer be under my direction, thanking me for my leadership, and sad to no longer be reporting to me. Others were both excited about the growth opportunities the structure creates, while some were apprehensive of pending change in their specific department.  I heard a couple staff express that the changes must certainly be good for me, as so many things will move off my plate.  I'm trying to see it that way, as a good thing, even though part of me feels like a significant amount of my net worth was chiseled away.  I've got months to work through the changes, and the hiring of a new counterpart, then training that new director as well before I can really tell if this will be an improvement on my stress load, or just different stress. My eyes will be open to see if there are better fits for me elsewhere, including a lateral, or even scaled back position.  For the short term, I'll take each day as they come, remembering my job may be where I make a living, but my home is where I make a life.

I cheated in keeping the budget in check.  October has not been a very good Stoptover at New Frame headquarters.  Middle school conferences  were tonight, plus DD#2 had a conference cross country meet, which followed her learning she was selected to an honors choir she had auditioned for.  School report was terrific, she had her highest finish yet in a meet, and I wanted to celebrate her choir selection.  Her absolute favorite is Chinese food, so splurged on dinner for the four of us, with $24 spent on take out. I'm sure I could have concocted some sort of mock take out for less than half the cost, though we wouldn't have been eating until 8:00.  For the variety we had, and the down time it allowed me tonight to just decompress, I am ok with the splurge, and will happily eat from the freezer and pantry the rest of the week. 

So  how was your day? Here's to all of you that are looking for ways to keep your head above water while looking for dry land.   I'll even raise a toast to the end of my Tuesday, the lowly of all the weekdays.  For now, I'm going to open a bottle of red wine, put on some comfy pajamas, and just chill.