I'm not one for the everyone's a winner philosophy, and a medal for just trying approach to raising kids. Not every game can be won, not every audition result in a placement. Kids need to learn that, but more importantly, they need to learn how to handle themselves when they don't achieve the goal. However, I don't want to see spirits crushed either. The directors note was about finding your assets, and using those assets regardless of, in this case, which choir you were placed on. My son had a very different experience in football in high school-not getting playing time, but not getting any real feedback on what he could do, or wasn't doing to make an impression. He was overlooked as just a body for the practice squad. As an adult DS must regularly now advocate for jobs, and getting tasks on the job in order to get the next one lined up. In hind sight, he learned a lot from being looked over, yet not quitting, and tenacity has become an asset. DD#2 had a joyless experience playing on a basketball team where while they won or placed second in a several tournaments, winning seemed to be the only goal of the team-not improving, not enjoying the love of the game. Her current soccer team is 1-5, and she looks forward to each game and practice. The collective asset is that they play as a team, win as a team, lose as a team.
As an adult, I forget that often, and sometimes beat myself up mentally at not meeting a goal or an objective. I also, when someone has treated me poorly, or I don't click with their character or personality, I find it hard to see past my perceived flaws of them. Anne, at Happenings at the Table. posted her June Joy list, On it, she has number 34, Be kind, even when I don't want to be. I think part of mastering that will be to look past the perceived flaw, and find the assets in that person. I struggle with my BIL and SIL and their bigger than life dominating personalities. However, both are terrific parents, and in reality, if the chips were really down in my family, no doubt each would be there to help if needed. I don't have an actual June Joy list, but I think making it a point to see the asset in people who rub me the wrong way is one way to get off my own pedestal, and bring more joy and contentment to myself.
|The season of victory, and little fun.|