Sunday, December 18, 2016
I Am A Writer, Dammit
"What do you do?". I really hate that question. What do I do for what? What do I do when? I know it always means what do you do for a paid job, or do for society, or do for your family. A survey/interview I did last summer in exchange for Target gift card, had many questions about my television and Internet service use. When a question about service disruption came up, my first thought was without Internet, I wouldn't be able to blog. I couldn't post the mundane and trivial pieces of my life that at least a few people are reading, even if some days it may just be myself from another web browser and my daughter giving her mom a bone to chew. I found myself answering the survey taker "Well as a writer, I depend on Internet access for my blog." Was I lying? Was I stretching the truth?
I did answer the questions honestly. I write and I do depend on functioning Internet access. While I'm not making a living from it, writing has always been a part of who I am, even when I set it on the shelf for a couple decades. It is what I do when I want to have a good navel gaze at my existence in the world. It is much more a part of me deep down than calculating numbers on a spreadsheet, or monitoring progress plans of grantees and vendors.
In my latest navel gaze, I'm struggling once again on the work side of life but for totally different reasons from two years ago. I won't bore folks again, but I feel underutilized and unfulfilled, questioning that I sand bagged a lucrative career two years ago with a bad job change.
But Friday night I opened a card from Anne at New Happenings at the Table, as part of a blogger card exchange. Her little note gave me motivation for this post. "May 2017 find you with an abundance of words for writing and sharing." Thanks, Anne. No, I wasn't lying or stretching the truth. I am a writer, dammit! It's time to fully embrace that dream, that version of me.