Feeling... Monday

     I'm taking a little step away from Feeling Good Mondays, though still being self focused, if not conflicted, perplexed, and numb in a multitude of areas. I've been working a lot, and it just isn't feasible to  just cut back on my hours to try and manage stress. While salaries are based on 40 hour work weeks, I know few salaried people in  managerial roles that ever work just 40 hours-not good, but true. Besides this being a busy time anyway in my work, there are several possible projects that will require immediate implementation if they get funded-yet, with a hiring freeze still in place, and no money to hire until the funding is a go anyway, it's those of us there needing to get it ready to launch. I just need to keep figuring out ways to keep my mental energy up, and when I do end the day, really shut down. 

     The book club book, Such a Fun Age, gave our group some good conversation about white privilege, the savior complex, and the so called influencer culture, and the push to live life certain ways. I think of the myriad of microaggressions towards black, indigenous, people of color (BIPOC the now used anagram), non-white people, probably that I am oblivious too (an example of white privilege) happening right in front of me. It was a good book to read in February during Black History month, and ironic that book club was the night when racial tensions in my work place had a spot light shown on them. I'm not going to talk at anyone, or say what anyone else should think, say, or do, but am sharing my personal look at my role of these heady topics. It's top of my mind and will be more so as the police murder trial of George Floyd commences so close, yet so far away from me, yet literally in the neighborhood of several colleagues. 

     In an effort to try and regain some of the old spirituality I had prior to the 2016 elections, the event that made me dub so many so called Christians as hypocrites in my mind, I signed up for a virtual bible study. The book of Esther, interestingly enough, does not actually even mention God, but is more about race and class conflict than religious conflict, is the topic. It's only for two weeks, March 15th and 22nd, so thought I would  dabble back in slowly and this seemed a good place to start. I'm a little nervous though-it has been a long time since I felt comfortable in my faith, which used to feel like a strong part of my identity. 

The Book Of Esther

     Lastly, I want to figure out where I can use my time better, if only in small ways, to improve life for others or the greater good. On pup walks, I see the sign outside our park that a family has adopted it, to do a minimum of three a year clean-ups. On the city web page, there are two parks not currently adopted. It seems  a simple thing to do in  honor/memory of our loved ones and my family is pretty darn huge- more than enough help. I sent an email yesterday to my siblings to see of their interest. Minimally, I can just sign up with my family and recruit helpers, but already had messages from my brother in town and a sister that are in. Meanwhile, thanks to an idea from Vix, I'm carrying two extra bags, one for trash and one as a trash glove, when I go for walks. It's a little thing, but if hundreds of people do little things, it becomes big. 

Borrowed from Eden Prairie volunteer group. 

I'll start work in an hour or so, and tonight is my  monthly Monday evening call meeting so starting with a long day off the bat. The weather still is great, so I will get some walk breaks in my day. Happy Monday and have a good and thoughtful week.