Holidays with Adult Children

     

     My daughter is home for Christmas break-not  that long as classes resume on January 6th. When she returns, she has an additional 10  hours  to call her own as her internship will be done. I think she learned a lot about organizing events, following up with speakers, trouble shooting  challenges-all things that will help her regardless of what direction she goes in  another 18 months. Look at this schedule though! This is on top of the internship, and two part-time jobs of 4-6 hours each per week. She's also in a second choir, for fun, Acapella style, and is the Vice President of an International Business Association. 

• Beginning Chinese                                4.000 credits
• Voice                                                      1.000
• Choir                                                      0.000 (But meets five times per week)
• U.S.-China Relations                             4.000
• Global Development Issues                   4.000
• SPAN  Carnival Lit in Latin America       4.000

     Slacking she ain't and her grades are excellent. It's nice to have her home. My kids like to work hard and play hard. She is my sleeper too. She'll likely sleep in as much as she can, and other than Christmas day when we are expected at MIL's by 12:00, and a  doctor and dentist appointment, I'll leave her to sleep as much as she wants. She'll actually turn 21 just a week after being back at school. That sets me up for a whole new crop of mom anxiety, but I got through it twice before. It was not that hard on me when my older daughter turned 21 as she was a semester ahead in school, and very focused on  graduating with honors in two majors. Of course, what I don't know, I don't know! 

     Speaking of my middle child, she too is burning her candle wicks at both end of the candle. She is working long days because they are short a producer, plus have had someone out with Covid. She and my niece have had Thursday on-line events every week, and are planning a collaboration event the end of January for their non-profit organization. And then of course, she's trying to juggle a personal life. I was 31 twenty-five years ago. I had just been promoted to my first management job earlier in the year and working full time again after not having done so for so many years. She had just started kindergarten, and my son was in 2nd grade. We were up to our ears in Scouts, recreation basketball in the tiny elementary school gyms, and preparing for the first Christmas after my husbands sister died. It was all a blur. Her life is a different kind of whirlwind, but likely she will look back at this Christmas and see a lot of blur as well. 

     My son is like the prodigal son, though he never got his portion of an inheritance to come, LOL, before he moved for the glitter of tinsel town. When he's home, he's both a guest and not a guest if that makes sense. I go all out making sure we have some of his favorites, and probably do a bit of spoiling. He reminds me of a cousin of DH's, mid 40's and living his life free from responsibilities beyond himself. My brother is like that, or has been since my niece grew up-the niece who is now 50, so he's been his own person for nearly 30 years, and as a healthy 70 year old,  travels or stays as it works for himself. I don't say this to denigrate any of them-just to highlight how different it is to celebrate holiday's with men that while perhaps aren't loners, are beholden to no one. 

     Of course, any of my kids lives could change greatly from one Christmas to the next.  DH was the older single guy brother before I met him. His sister and three of his best friends had gotten married in the year before. He had recently gone back to college; was living in a crappy duplex with a roommate and working. He had his sporty Dodge Charger that he bought before he got laid off from his computer job, but made enough  working to afford the car, college, and living the good life. He was still running, so would take off for different places for 10 K's, half marathons, and the occasional full marathon. He very much had a me, myself, and I lifestyle. We met on December 5th, 1985, and three years later, he was a married man with a mortgage, expecting  his first kiddo! I'm not expecting my kids to do anything they don't want with their lives, but life can change pretty quickly. 

     I write this because while I remember fondly the Christmas's when they were little, or when I had one little with teens, this time in life has just as much to revel in and smile about. The  stressful chaos of getting to one  set of parents or the other, fitting in seeing DH's grandparents and extended family will never be part of my holiday again. And while changes mean that I won't always have my full family for Christmas, I know Christmas is just a day and we have 364 other options to  plan for us all to be together.