Two weeks ago when I summed up quarter 3, I guess I lamented a bit that the holidays might financially be a stretch. I used a phrase something like make Christmas more heart and less credit card. Now, admittedly, we are in a much better financial situation than many families, so I don't want to come off disingenuous. We also have our health and these things together should be enough to bring glad tidings to the season of joy. But there's still the probably self imposed expectations of special food and drink, gifts that people will love, parties, and increased charitable giving. As it's now November, the time I really am focused on the holiday transition, I need to figure out just how much I can pull from my heart, and try and not move into January with lingering expenses.
It's already going to be different with my youngest not home. Depending on his work schedule and how outrageous air travel gets, we might be without DS too. Each year we're lucky my MIL stays healthy, in fact using this actuarial table, at a healthy 82, and the age her dad and aunt passed, she should expect to live we'll into her 90's, and we'd be very thankful. Still, we want to focus on things that bring her joy each year. My oldest siblings as well, though they have their own families to help them create the joy. For any of them, opening loads of presents doesn't seem like where focus should be.
Here's a short list of where I'm looking for that heart and not to pull out the cash or credit card.
- Community Concerts: getting tickets for, driving my MIL to and from
- Schedule video calls with kids leading up to Christmas.
- Lefse making: my sister in law set a date, though it's a Friday. I'm going to try and schedule around it. ( Likely tough to do but I'm glad my daughter can join)
- Cookie/ bread baking day with music, or holiday movie streaming in the back ground. Deliver early so others might enjoy.
- Read "A Christmas Carol"
- Watch a few favorites movies that have meaning to me. Both the classic versions and Muppet Christmas Carol are in the list. The 1992 or so version of Little Women is as well. It's not Christmas per se but I associate it to Christmas.
- Attend a Christmas market. It's not Europe, but there's several to do with family and friends to get in the mood. Mulled wine while strolling amongst twinkle lights and garland sounds festive.
- Penning a good letter to family and friends, not a bragging one, but brief life update, and letting the recipient know how much they mean to us
- Truly embrace advent with some sort of service each week
- Keep adding to this list without need for money
This isn't traditional Money Monday but since so much of the holidays seems to center on the stress of money, it felt like it fit. I have a budget in mind, not including any funds we divert to defray son's travel costs. It's about 15% lower than previous years, and includes gifts, food and drink, decorating and wrapping, and cards. We got a family picture, just from a phone camera, and I'm using that. I'm planning to order as soon as I get the best online deal. I'd like to decrease postage and hand deliver when I see people at Thanksgiving or that weekend so I need to do this week, so hoping that online deal is quick.
Mostly, I just want to really think about what we put into the season and the why. Have you set a Christmas budget yet, if you partake in the holiday? Do you have other holidays the coming months you're planning for? How is that impacting your finances?
I've been thinking a bit about the budget. We just buy for the "kids". Kids are defined in our family as "until you graduate from college". That gives me our two kids, and my two nephews. M & I go back & forth, but are unlikely to buy each other gifts. I also give money to my sister, who does all of the Costco shopping for food & drinks, to cover the celebration. I just received a Costco cash card for our Hawaii trip, and I'll be sending that early to my sister. It's more than enough to cover the cost of food. We've also purchased flights, but they were more expensive than the entire Christmas budget we typically set. We'll be more frugal elsewhere this year.
ReplyDeleteLeft to pay for:
-One night at a ski cabin (have to find something) on the 23rd
-Gifts for our boys. I'm about 1/2 done.
-Something for M
-Gifts for my nephews
-We buy very small gift cards (like ~$5) for the saran wrap game. I'll contribute a few of those as well.
I'd love to skip the adulting ( other than my own) gifting. DH's family is very big on gifts as part of celebration so to buck that would be upheaval. I've at least got it to a more manageable price range. My ideal would be a quiet Christmas Eve, with nice food, a good walk, church, and a movie. Followed by Christmas as a day that's spent maybe playing a few games, a big late lunch, but not necessarily one with a lot of components. Then, to get away the day or two after. This won't happen for a long while.
DeleteWe already saved the cash we are giving kids, grandkids and great grandkids as I transfer a certain amount each month to the savings. I hate giving cash but all the kids like it as they use it to buy take out or concert tickets
ReplyDeleteThat’s what I mainly gift too- I’ll buy my 3 youngest grands something but everyone else just wants cash. Naan
DeleteThat's my kids main gift as well. The gift exchanges end up being a lot of gift cards, so I wish they'd stop entirely.
DeleteOur celebration is more of a season...special foods like Chex mix starting in November, candles, Thanksgiving, decorating when the meal is cleared, Advent Calendars, card making and the like. We only buy gifts for our own kids. When they were little, they weren't allowed to ask for something, or write a list, being told they get one thing from Santa, one from Mom and Dad. Now, I ask for suggestions, but it's like pulling teeth. Youngest said we should get a hot tub for our patio for a family gift, and that would be "epic." (I just can't face the logistics right now, but we may give the kids marching orders to supervise/ facilitate the process over Christmas break.) Honestly, the budget has never been an issue at Christmas, as, after our first holiday when I told DH the holidays were NOT to be spent honoring someone else's tradition, I never got hot and bothered over living up to someone else's standards.
ReplyDeleteI've never had enough back bone to buck either families traditions and way things are done. I suppose not living real close makes that easier. Your season sounds festive, and in your terms.
DeleteWe celebrate the season of Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years. We do have our favorite activities and foods for each but we don't really set a holiday budget nor do we seem to really get out of control with the spending. Not much help here I know. lol
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure l know if you and your guy have a lot of extended family or your own children. I think making a holiday work for your own family, budget and all, is really nice.
DeleteI am so happy to not be decorating or baking for Christmas. Well I will do a little at Sissies. This may be my easiest Christmas ever!
ReplyDeleteI'm sure you'll get your hands in too! You deserve a bit of calm for your holiday season. Are your kids all with their SO family this year?
DeleteWe paid for our daughter's airfare to come and visit us. We plan on taking her to a tree lighting, a Christmas parade and we'll be eating lunch out every day somewhere different. If the weather is nice, maybe a trip to the beach. If we go out shopping and she sees something she likes, we'll buy it for her. Other than that, not buying any gifts. I will probably give out some painted rocks here and there.
ReplyDeleteThat's the way to put your money to your values. Enjoy every minute she's home.
DeleteMy two eldest have to travel considerable distance to come home for Christmas so their " presence is their presents" as we say. I will buy gifts for all children ( small, personal, not pricey) to go with cash. Its the catering costs that are going to be difficult this year with food prices so high, so I have begun to put items away already.
ReplyDeleteI agree with your comment from a few days ago about there not seeming to be many specials about. Or maybe I'm just not finding them. Megan
No specials here. I bought some small cheesecake sampler that I'll bring to Thanksgiving. They were a coupon sale at the normally expensive grocery store by my daughter's. If I could have my son home, that's my best gift.
DeleteI won’t be buying much for my oldest, maybe a nice sweatshirt and a pair of jeans and some consumables. My youngest, I’ll definitely spend more on her but going to try to be practical. Maybe purchase some of her second semester textbooks? She wants a nice pair of pajamas and a hard shell case for her laptop. Here’s where it gets a little tricky. Taylor Swift is coming to Pittsburgh next summer on her birthday and it would be a perfect girls day for us. Tickets go on sale on November 18th. So are they a Christmas gift or birthday gift? I don’t even know if I could be lucky enough to snag a pair before they sell out. Hubby and I don’t do gifts. My mom squad pitches in and we make a donation to a no-kill animal shelter nearby but do an ornament exchange so we have something small to unwrap. Not sure if we are doing anything at work this year. Usually it’s all the managers and we pick names and go to dinner but idk if that’s happening this year. I’ve already bought for my nieces and nephew. My dad won’t want anything but I’m sure I’ll come up with something. There will be some odds and ends along the way but I think we’re going to do a lot of baking and decorating and back to basics this year as well. We never even drove around just to look at lights last year. That has to change! That 90’s version of Little Women is the best. Claire Danes is a favorite of mine. JoAnn
ReplyDeleteI'd say call the tickets both, but in her birthday, stick a little coffee card or something in a card to celebrate, but remind her of the fun of the concert. I can't imagine what those tickets will cost. Clare Danes, Winona Ryder, and I forget the other girls actresses we're all so perfect for the characters.
DeleteWe give cash to our adult sons and DIL's along with a couple of small presents for them to open Christmas morning. Since they are all having Christmas at their houses, it will just be TheHub and me at home. We always get something for each other but they are generally very small gifts. Neither of us want or need anything really.
ReplyDeleteI think I am going to give My Beloved Sister and BIL a Costco membership. She has mentioned wanting one several times and she is like me and wants or needs nothing, so it sounds like a practical solution.
The bare minimum for us - as always. Xmas cards from Shelter (the homelessness charity) and second hand, hand-made & fair-traded artisan gifts for my brother and a handful of friends. Hopefully the Indian restaurant will be open on Xmas Day for the Dead Relatives Society. I usually bring in some holly and ivy from the garden and weave some pentangles from tree branches I've picked up. Fairy lights are up all year round. We don't buy extra food or drink, the shops are only closed for one day. xxx
ReplyDeleteI love your Christmas gathering and choices for gifts. I'm looking at local for what I buy as best I can.
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