Feeling My Age

These added pounds are making me feel older than I should feel. Granted, the arthritis doesn't help and I'll have the occasional flare up that I've dealt with for quite a while now.. I'm talking though on the relatively good days when bending over to pick something up is straining because of the belly flab. I'm talking about feeling the need to only wear shirts that cover the upper third of my arm, which means in a warm meeting room, I am apt to keep my sweater or suit jacket on if I only wore a simple shell underneath it. I picked up  my hair coloring, and extra multi plug electrical cord, and a few other odds and ends at Walmart yesterday morning. The main aisle to the registers is the women's clothing on one section. There was a display of comfy, but nice looking sleeveless tunics, including a nice shade of blue and one in salmon. These would be the type of shirt perfect for summer with skirts at work, or long shorts and capris pants on vacation, out for the night, or hosting friends. Except, I would feel awkward in them. Yes, I know we are supposed to be body positive and embrace the curves. Still,I've never heard the mantra of embrace the arm jiggle though. 

I was very long overdue for a hair color-sad really that I let my preferred look go for so long. You might remember, I delayed the color and cut in January as I was on a self imposed austerity month. January went and so did February; now  halfway through March before I took care of my hair. Such a little thing, and relatively little expense to feel better about my appearance. I know I could start to embrace the gray, but I am not ready for that-at all. I had let my hair grow too long for my personal comfort. Gone are the days when I would routinely sport long braids and twist them under for work. I just want my hair long enough to be able to completely pull back in a pony tail on really hot days, exercising or working around the house, but no longer want any fuss of daily styling. Long hair and short hair is equally too fussy for me. The long lifeless hair was dragging my whole face down. I had four plus inches cut off and my head feels lighter, plus rounds out my less than professional color job.

No makeup and hair still wet and I feel 10X better than an hour before. 

Having time off work, getting things done around the house, cleaning , sorting, and purging, leaves a lot of time to think. I do need to make sure I am taking care of myself and that includes for appearance sake as well. Of course losing the  weight to get to a healthy place will be good for my heart, but it will also be good for my head. I'm perfectly fine with being 52 years old. While probably a shade past middle age, I think I have decades of wonderful living ahead of me. I just want to feel and look the age I am while living it. I can embrace that.