Saturday, February 27, 2016

The Joy and Guilt of Under Committing



Last week I bantered about saying yes to experiences when you are inclined to say no. Today though, I am relishing in the fact that I bypassed extra commitments, despite the twinge of guilt in doing so. I had five reminder e-mails about our show choir commitments this weekend, both volunteer slots and the donation of a pan of bars, cut into 3"by 3" squares, wrapped individually. These were automated messages, thankfully or I would have really felt guilty for ignoring the second part of each message. In each reminder was a note and link to the sign up page that there were still several unclaimed volunteer spots. Other than my own housework, and maybe helping DD#1 with some final packing and purging, and a trip up to school to watch DD#2's exhibition performance, I have nothing on my calendar today. I easily could have taken on another spot. I volunteered for set-up last night, 5:00-8:00, and after a full day in the office, I was tired. 

The spots left unclaimed were the shifts starting after 6:00 tonight, and some going as late as midnight. Dropping the youngest offspring off at 7:00, I had more than a twinge of guilt when I saw one of the event coordinators hauling in things from her van. No doubt she has hundred of hours already in the planning, and is probably already on hour 12 of her volunteering this weekend after all the work that went into yesterday. Fortunately, I was in my pajama pants still, though Idid take the time to put on a bra and sweatshirt-I'm not a complete heathen.  Had I been more appropriately dressed, I might have succumbed to the martyr urge, parked the car, and went into the school and start helping. Instead, I went through the McDonald's drive through and got a large coffee with three creams, and headed home. Let's see if my control will be in tact when I head back at 4:30 as a spectator. 

I was having back spasms last night when rolling the kids hair in spongy curlers.  My knee's from all the up and down staircases yesterday are throbbing yet this morning, so not being on my feet all day is a joy. I even surprised DH when he asked what time DD#2 and I had to be there today when I said I wasn't working at it any more. "REally?", he said in surprise. I hate though that I can't shake the twinge of guilt, but I'm trying to remember all the other things I take on. I'm DD#2's soccer team manager and have a few hours in coordination already and the outdoor practices haven't even started. . I will be coordinating the details before and the morning of the youth  Palm Sunday breakfast at church in three weeks. I'm making soup and bars for a work lunch on Monday. I chaperoned two show choir competitions earlier in the month. The world will get by just fine without my two hands involved today. I should not feel guilty, but I do-at least a bit. 

5 comments:

  1. Mom guilt.....where is your DH's dad guilt? Do dad's even have guilt?? lolz

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    1. Nope-he never has guilt, and he's a good volunteer dad. He was hauling cases of soda and water in last night, and then spent a couple hours prepping concession items. He definitely does a fair share-more than many parents as he coaches, car pools, and other duties as assigned over the years. This probably irrational guilt is mine to won alone.

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    2. Never heard of dad guilt. Never say he is sorry, worries pretty much about nothing. I found when my kids were in school, same parents volunteered for everything. Cheryl

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  2. So far you, me and McVal are all having back problems. How add is that!
    It's hard to let things go but you really do need some down time. Oh and coffee.

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    1. It was sitting awkwardly rolling her hair after being on my feet for three hours that did my back in yesterday, but seems better today. How are you doing? I got my coffee, some sort of down time, but I ended up helping slightly with something that came up, which I'll be posting for tomorrow.

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