Sunday, December 18, 2016

I Am A Writer, Dammit


"What do you do?". I really hate that question. What do I do for what? What do I do when? I know it always means what do you do for a paid job, or do for society, or do for your family. A survey/interview I did last summer in exchange for  Target gift card, had many questions about my television and Internet service use. When a question about service disruption came up, my first thought was without Internet, I wouldn't be able to blog. I couldn't post the mundane and trivial pieces of my life that at least a few people are reading, even if some days it may just be myself from another web browser and my daughter giving her mom a bone to chew. I found myself answering the survey taker "Well as a writer, I depend on Internet access for my blog." Was I lying?  Was I stretching the truth?

I did answer the questions honestly. I write and I do depend on functioning Internet access. While I'm not making a living from it, writing has always been a part of who I am, even when I set it on the shelf for a couple decades. It is what I do when I want to have a good navel gaze at my existence in the world. It is much more a part of me deep down than calculating  numbers on a spreadsheet, or monitoring progress plans of grantees and vendors.

In my latest navel gaze, I'm struggling once again on the work side of life but for totally different reasons from two years ago. I won't bore folks again, but I feel underutilized and unfulfilled, questioning that I sand bagged a lucrative career two years ago with a bad job change.

But Friday night I opened a card from Anne at New Happenings at the Table, as part of a blogger card exchange. Her little note gave me motivation for this post. "May 2017 find you with an abundance of words for writing and sharing." Thanks, Anne. No, I wasn't lying or stretching the truth. I am a writer, dammit! It's time to fully embrace that dream, that version of me.

18 comments:

  1. I have loved your last few posts, you are indeed a writer! I'm mulling over your words even though I haven't commented, I've been a bit under the weather not helpful when I want to say something that makes sense!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is kind of you to say. I really appreciate you commenting.I too find use of pondering and perhaps not commenting always, but so many blogs make me think.

      Delete
  2. My blog pretty much saved my life. I call it my "soft place to fall," (a Dr Phil expression). I needed a place to express myself other than in the real world where I felt stifled, unable to share myself free from judgement. I have had many rewards from blogging and not monetary. Readers have sent me emails telling me that my real life experiences have helped them, whether it be online selling, downsizing, relocating, losing weight or other things I've written about in the past 6 years (going on 7 come May). They've asked me for advice, information or to review something they wrote or created. I mean that's awesome! I've even met other bloggers in person and I joined a blogger group here in Alabama. There's always something to write about, always something to share. Keeping it real and honest I think is the key. Yes, you are a writer! We are bloggers! We are writers! :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies

    1. Thanks Lorraine! Finding kindred souls across the country and world has been life affirming. That sounds melodramatic considering I have a hubs and three kids, but this feels like me! I'm happy I found your blog as well.

      Delete
  3. For me blogging was not so much about the writing as it was connecting. I began this silly blog several years ago as a method of sharing recipes with friends, but it morphed into something completely different.
    Now instead of connecting with my friends and family that I see on a regular basis, it has allowed me to develop bonds with people outside my realm and become part of the lives that they care to share. What I found most amazing is the honest concern I feel if a regular poster "misses" their typical post time. I find myself hoping all is well with them and love it when they return with some fabulous adventure or a tale about how their time has spun out of control. Who knew it would turn out like this?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I took it up as a learning opportunity, thinking perhaps if I did things right, I might eventually be able to supplement an early retirement with some side gigs writing. I realized how rusty my skills are, but that now is irrelevant. I feel like I have made connections with people I'd have never met in person, who now feel like a part of my circle.

      Delete
  4. I am struggling with some of the same exact things...compounded by the fact that I will be potentially facing an emptier nest next summer with G1 most likely beginning her gap year adventures. Besides being a wife and mom, all I have ever wanted to do was be a "writer". Yet, even as my husband encourages me, I still feel like a fraud. Thank you so much for this post - it helped lift my spirits and renew my determination to work on this during 2017!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm glad I finally finished this post-I've had a draft for a while, but it wasn't until I received Anne's card that I completed the post. Apparently we share a common bond as bloggers-we are all writers, and while our motivation may be different, each of us have a voice and this provides an outlet.

      Delete
  5. Yes, you are a writer! And I, for one, look forward to hearing what you have to say, no matter how trivial! And...you just never know who is reading...in the past month I've had two emails from long-time readers who never comment so I didn't even know they were reading my blog! But they had something to say and wrote to me. It gave me the best feeling - people are out there reading our words and we don't even "know" them! Keep writing Sam!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jane, that is so kind! I totally agree that getting that feedback in an e-mail or a comment, that something written was meaningful, is a joy for me.

      Delete
  6. I've hated that question forever. People always ask it, almost first thing. And they always expect to you to answer, "what do you do?" with your employment status. But that's not who I am. In 36 years of living that's never been who I am. I was never "a paper carrier" at 13 or so years old. I wasn't a "server" or "child care professional," or "clerk," ect;

    Answering "what do you do?" with my employment status hasn't ever been honest. At least 10 years back I stopped answering the question the way people expect. Sometimes I say, "I think." That one usually gets strange faces (and I love it). Or I say, "I love spending time with my kid." Or, "I'm outside a lot." Of course then people assume I don't have a job but I don't care.

    If a random stranger wants to learn a tiny fact about me (or even a relative) then the first thing I'm going to say isn't going to be about how I make money.

    You are a writer. It's who you are at your core, in your heart. If you can't answer honestly with that answer then it's just because you haven't fully owned it yet. How you make money doesn't define you. Don't let other people try and convince you who you are. You're the only one who really knows you. Just be honest about it. "I am a writer!"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I love your spirit, and I think I'm slowly embracing my ownership, or at least am going to declare it so!

      Delete
  7. If you write, you're a writer. Blogging fulfils a need for many of us - to communicate, to express ourselves, to examine and construct our experiences through words, to connect with others. Keep at it! xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. All these wonderful and wise people are confirming this, so it must be true! what a lovely sentiment on blogging, "construct our experience through words".

      Delete
  8. You are a fab writer and as they say writers write it doesn't matter about the content too much. I used to do Julia Cameron's morning pages just to get in the flow but blogging does the job much better. My life at the mo is not conducive to regular blogging though but I'm aiming to improve next year. You write mostly every day Sam so that makes you a writer. X

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wendy, I always appreciate the feedback and you sharing your thoughts via comments on my or others blogs. You have a full plate of self fulfilment with your grandchildren and travel. I guess right now, besides my family, this blog is my love but suspect if life changes, so shall my blogging.

      Delete
  9. It would be very narrow and limiting to see ourselves through the prism of what we do for society or family - and only! It is what resonated deeply with us, that's who we are. It took me years to come to this understanding, but now I have no doubts whatsoever - I am a Writer and an Artist, in a wider sense of the word. Nobody knows you better than you know yourself, Sam! Only you know who you are, and if you relate to yourself as a writer - then you ARE a writer! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. coming form a true artist, that means a lot Natalia. I miss our little writers group, but have liked your collaboration on the fashion front.

      Delete

Join the conversation. Your respectful comments are welcome. Spam and advertising products or services without permission will be deleted, as will anything deemed hurtful to others. A change, I moderate comments older than three days to be sure I read them all and stay ahead of the spam. If you're a blogger, feel free to include your blog URL.