Thursday, March 30, 2017

Embrace Life



This has been a sad week. Over the weekend a 51 year old man from our church passed away, unexpectedly "but peacefully" the obituary said. His college age daughter played the drums in the teen ensemble when DD2 was first part of the group. Monday night, the 52 year old father of one of DD2's show choir friends died unexpectedly at the same time the finale production was happening. His wife and I worked together before the first show and in between the second show, steaming dresses, organizing the racks, and helping the kids get ready. She mentioned her husband and a couple other family ended up not be able to be there and she had extra tickets. I've become friendly with her this year, both of us being in the education field have a lot in common to talk about on the long days chaperoning. They also have a college freshman son. I noticed she got a call right at the start of the second show and left abruptly, but I thought nothing of it, assuming a family member did make it, and she was going to find them.The kids all stayed late yesterday making cards for their friend and her family.

My beloved 95 year old aunt passed away Tuesday morning as well. She was my dad's oldest sibling, the last surviving member of that generation. I will write a whole post about her, such a beautiful soul, with more heart ache and tragedy in her life than anyone should face, but who lived a life of caring and giving to others. More than 40 years of living difference between my aunt and these men. I am heart broken that neither will see their daughters grow up, build lives and families, that J will not see his son pitch the spring home opener for his college baseball team. I'm heart broken that while my aunt lived such a long life, she was the last connection to my dad's life before any of us were a part of it.

I'll continue to write about the struggle and successes to save money, managing to find time, trying to have adventures, both little and big, and creative cooking. Today though, I have pensive thoughts of my own life, and fear that I am wasting it, not embracing enough of what the world has to offer. I own guilt for my quick biting response to others when I'm annoyed, particularly those most dear to me, and my pettiness about stuff in life that really doesn't matter. For now, for the immediate future, I hope I can just focus on being a good person. I want to truly appreciate every blessing I have, especially those that I don't always see as blessings. From my messy house, to my less than fulfilling job, to my mother in law with a critical eye, who will be returning soon from the south, to my chunky body, I want to see the good of all. On that end note, I wish the same for all of you.


24 comments:

  1. I'm sorry that you feel such sadness this week SAM, and as someone whose dad died aged 55 my heart breaks for those young people. Be kind to yourself. Xx

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    1. It is hard for me to imagine going through that as a teen or young adult. I was in my forties and felt the loss of my parents so deeply.

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  2. I am so sorry for all the families losses. Life is fragile.

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    1. Thanks Anne. My aunt lived along life, and made the most of what she was given. My orayers have been for those young families.

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    1. Thank you-words of kindness are so appreciated.

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  4. First time to post, but, I have read your blog for awhile and also see the comments you post on other blogs. I have thought before what a good person you are. I am sorry for your losses this week. You are a great writer and I so enjoy your blog and it often gives me a good perspective on things going on in my own life. Thank you, ColoradoGirl

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    1. Your comments are very kind. Don't we all try and be a good person? We all have our short comings, but it is far better for our own well being to show kindness. I am glad you enjoy the blog-I know days are hit or miss with content for others, but a great outlet for me.

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  5. 50-something seems way too young to be dying, and leaving youngsters behind too. It certainly puts a lot into perspective doesn't it, particularly the part about "tomorrow not being promised to anyone". I'm so sorry for your losses - seize the day has got to be the only way to go hasn't it. Anna

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    1. Thanks, Anna. While I know I won't have a dramatic change in lifestyle, seizing the day for me is being and showing my contentment-going for walks in all kinds of weather, laughing with friends and family, and trying to rise above negativity in the world.

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  6. I, too, am sorry for your loss. Last year, I went through life-threatening situations (two pre-cancer diagnoses). I am 51 years old, and the experience has made me think more about the things that truly matter in life. It solidified my priorities.

    I just wanted to say I really enjoy reading your blog. We are going through similar things: children starting college, personal finance, and so on. I learn a lot from your insights. Please keep it up!

    Warmly, D.

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    1. I'm sorry for your ordeal, but so happy your shared your story of courage and positive will. thank you for your kind words about my blog. It is a helpful hobby, and perhaps, a way to tone up some writing skills and brave new opportunities.

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  7. Bless you Sam we are all a work in progress aren't we? I think I've mentioned before that my closest friend for over ten years died unexpectedly three years ago she was only 44 at the time with three wonderful kids I have missed her every day but it's definitely made me embrace my life more and appreciate every day

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    1. Losing a close friend had to have felt like losing part of your self. I felt that way about my sister. I love your spirit for life and the adventures you and Lovejoy share. I keep watching on Instagram.

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  8. So very sorry for your losses. Sending virtual hugs!

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    1. Thank you, Rachel. Hugs gratefully accepted!

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  9. I'm so very sorry to hear about your loss in your family and extended family/friends circle. It's so very hard to put it into perspective, given all of the daily choices & stress we face. But you are right, we are here, every day doing the best we can, and have a real opportunity to enjoy, despite the small (hopefully) daily challenges. Our weight, our time management, our lack of sleep, our job stress, our bickering over impulse grocery purchases (my husband;-)), finances, etc.

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    1. I caught myself snapping at DD and DH a couple times, and tried to instantly pull it back, as it was so dumb. I can't even imagine being without either, and know the things that bother me would be welcomed experiences for those that lost their partner. Take care-moving is one of the most stressful things added to job loss and then change. You got a lot going on there HP.

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  10. Just catching up on your blog. I am so sorry for the recent losses....Hugs to you

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    1. Thanks TraceeBee. My aunts service was beautiful.

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  11. So sorry to hear of your loss and the loss around you others are experiencing.
    As I am in my 50's it sure hits home to hear of people my age dying, and as I age, dying with more frequency at whatever age I am at. Makes you stop to appreciate what you have rather than what you don't.

    I have outlived both maternal grandparents, 3 great grandmothers and my oldest brother at this point. If I live to 71 years I'll have outlived three generations of my family save 1 great grandmother. At least I now have a goal, right? ;-)

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    1. Are your parents still alive? 71 seems very young, so please reach well beyond your goal! No days are promised so best to take the road trips,support our kids reach their dreams have a beer with friends and enjoy life.

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  12. Definitely a very sad week, hugs to you. It's hard to stay nice 100% of the time though, those who love you understand that :)

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    1. I've really focused on my word choices and thoughts this week. I appreciate your comment though

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