Embrace Life

This has been a sad week. Over the weekend a 51 year old man from our church passed away, unexpectedly "but peacefully" the obituary said. His college age daughter played the drums in the teen ensemble when DD2 was first part of the group. Monday night, the 52 year old father of one of DD2's show choir friends died unexpectedly at the same time the finale production was happening. His wife and I worked together before the first show and in between the second show, steaming dresses, organizing the racks, and helping the kids get ready. She mentioned her husband and a couple other family ended up not be able to be there and she had extra tickets. I've become friendly with her this year, both of us being in the education field have a lot in common to talk about on the long days chaperoning. They also have a college freshman son. I noticed she got a call right at the start of the second show and left abruptly, but I thought nothing of it, assuming a family member did make it, and she was going to find them.The kids all stayed late yesterday making cards for their friend and her family.

My beloved 95 year old aunt passed away Tuesday morning as well. She was my dad's oldest sibling, the last surviving member of that generation. I will write a whole post about her, such a beautiful soul, with more heart ache and tragedy in her life than anyone should face, but who lived a life of caring and giving to others. More than 40 years of living difference between my aunt and these men. I am heart broken that neither will see their daughters grow up, build lives and families, that J will not see his son pitch the spring home opener for his college baseball team. I'm heart broken that while my aunt lived such a long life, she was the last connection to my dad's life before any of us were a part of it.

I'll continue to write about the struggle and successes to save money, managing to find time, trying to have adventures, both little and big, and creative cooking. Today though, I have pensive thoughts of my own life, and fear that I am wasting it, not embracing enough of what the world has to offer. I own guilt for my quick biting response to others when I'm annoyed, particularly those most dear to me, and my pettiness about stuff in life that really doesn't matter. For now, for the immediate future, I hope I can just focus on being a good person. I want to truly appreciate every blessing I have, especially those that I don't always see as blessings. From my messy house, to my less than fulfilling job, to my mother in law with a critical eye, who will be returning soon from the south, to my chunky body, I want to see the good of all. On that end note, I wish the same for all of you.