Friday, April 20, 2018

Husbands and Grocery Stores


This rant is only about my husband, but enough folks have chimed in on past posts about odd shopping patterns by their significant others. As of yesterday morning, I was at  $177 for household and grocery shopping. My plan was to shop on my way mfrom work tonight at Aldi's. Now seeing that Thursday is DH's day off and we did need groceries, I knew he would do some level of rogue shopping. The budget is solid this month, I thought, easily able to absorb a random $50 or so dollar shop. I nearly gagged when I saw his receipt-$105. The only meat he bought was a family pack of boneless country style ribs and some deli meat. Then, discovering we were low on BBQ sauce, he ran to the store near us and spent another $10 on sauce, canned baked beans, and saw a good deal on cheese so bought that. My spending has jumped to $292, with 11 days left in the month and I haven't even shopped for household goods and dog food.

Nothing is inherently bad that he purchased, just not thought out at all. It is a series of "good deals".  We like yogurt. Did we need 20 containers of Yoplait because they were 10 for $5, or would 10 have been plenty for this week? ( I also have been buying Greek yogurt and not the overly sweetened versions which he bought.) He bought two huge bags of Malt O Meal cereal at 3 for $7. I buy smaller boxes, that I know will actually get eaten, for under $2. Chances are 1/3 of each of these bags will get stale before DD2 gets to eating it all. Bulk buying is different for different families. Sure, 12 years ago with two teens and a preschooler, buying huge cereal bags was a no brainer. Today, it is nonsense. 

The rest was like this as well. Five items of something. Ten of another, but other than the ribs which we will get two meals out of, and two frozen pizzas, nothing will make complete meals. I'm still going to need to shop this weekend, once I do a think through what he bought, to round out with protein and vegetables. I guess his shopping isn't all bad. We had a nice meal of ribs, baked potatoes we already had on hand, and baked beans. On the truly bright side, it beats a gambling habit. 

29 comments:

  1. Grrr. But, all of us have our thing, don't we. My husband is great at the shopping, and will even call me if he isn't sure about something. The other day, just as I had returned from the kid drop off/supermarket scouting, he phoned from the very same store, where he stopped on the way back from dropping off another kid, and asked about butter for $1.49/lb. (Store was sent wrong stuff, and wanted it out of the store. He bought 12 pounds.) I guess he's watched my frugality for too long. Plus, in our dating years, he once saw me toss, yes toss, some garbage he had picked up at the store on the way to my place, when he said he'd bring dinner. (Velveeta.) I thought it was something that was put in the bag by accident. Other than that, he's great in the stores. That said, this man, who could control a cockpit pf the most complex aircraft with his eyes closed, is useless in the kitchen. That's his "thing." He can manage to heat up a can of soup, and that's it. It infuriates me. I want to scream "YOU LIKE TO EAT, DON'T YOU?!?! THEN LEARN TO COOK!" And have, in fact. The man just knows nothing about food, in spite of my culinary skills.

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    1. Granted, I really hate grocery shopping, but I don't like randomness in my kitchen. If we had a really good pantry principle way of shopping and meal planning, his 5 of this and 10 of that wouldn;t bug me so much. I'm also trying to get the processed stuff out of the house and so much of his deals are the processed things.

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  2. I'm fortunate; my husband doesn't set foot in a grocery shop unless he's with me. I usually shop alone though, and he eats what I have bought and cooked. He's also become much more capable with cooking over the years, and he bakes fabulous scones! If anything, he's guilty of not telling me when he's run out of something only he uses/ eats.

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    1. If only he could find good deals on quality staples, I'd be happy. Instead, I have 10 packets of rice and pasta side dishes,loaded with salt, chemicals, and fat, at 10 for $10. I wish he would think that the equivalent amount of long grain rice would have been half that.

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  3. Oh you are preaching to the choir here! TheHub has been working 12 hour days for the last month or so and it is really reflected in my grocery budget. He is worn out and the only thing he wants is to make sure we have everything necessary for a martini. I have everything on hand so he has not stopped but a couple of times lately, When he shops he not only buys stuff we don't need, he does not look for deals. He just gets whatever he wants, and a lot of it! I hate he is having to work so much, but . . .

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    1. At least he is honest aobut buying treats and things he wants and not thinking he is a master shopper. Sorry for the long work days-it really cuts into your time together.

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  4. Oh Anne, once TheHub retires and have scads of free time I can only imagine the damage he'll do to your food budget. eek!

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  5. My Hubs has learned from many, many years of training(lol)NOT to go rogue at the store. He may go and pick up one or two things he wants but he does no stocking of the pantry. Then again, if I am not up to shopping I have to supply a detailed list(plus the ad with pictures circled)and even then if you isn't sure he'll call me.
    I hate that Weis and other stores here only give you the best price if you buy a certain number of multiples of an item $X price when you buy 3 or 5 or whatever....hate that!

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    1. He doesn't do too bad when I give hi a clear list-only a little off plan. It's his Thursday's I have to watch out for. No doubt your hubs will have it down to your science after a few years.

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  6. My hubby does that too - except now I rarely send him to the store for anything :) He knows I can get 5 bags of groceries for $20 so I think at this point he only brings home the odd bottle of high end olives or expensive deli meats.

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    1. I spent about 5 minutes looking at the receipt estimating how low I would have got these items, and in a normal amount using my combined strategies of store brand, Aldi's, and sales, or better yet, not premade stuff. Of course e's a grown up and I wish he would jsut splurge on a few items for his own preferences than shop for us all for hobby.

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  7. Well it kept him out of the bars. I have one of those also. They do make us laugh, when we are not crying.

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    1. But we have four boxes of granola bars, so that is not entirely true!

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    2. Yes, I got her joke-I was adding irony to her comment.

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  8. It's hard not infantilize husbands when it comes to this topic! And this is why my husband doesn't do ANY grocery shopping whatsoever ... ever. When he has in the past (thinking he was doing me a favor), he doesn't even glance at prices, he would just grab anything to get out of there as quickly as possible. But what's ironic is when I'm ready to check out at Target I know to seek out the lines with the most men in them. They almost always only have one or two items that they're buying while women have cart loads ;)

    D.

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    1. Guys will wander around a Walmart, but not Targets I've noticed. Something about the way Trget is laid out makes them want ot get in and out, andfor me, the non shopper, I love to explore targets and always buy too much-why I make myself stay out of them.

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  9. When we were 5 at home I used to spend about 250 euros a week (this region is expensive). One time I was in hospital and my ex took both kids and filled 3 carts to the tune of 500 euros - and yes, just for a week. Most of it got pitched (the fresh stuff) and as for the rest he threw a strop because we hadn't got room for it. He never changed, even when he moved out on his own.

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    1. Woah!! doubling a weeks budget, now that is rogue shopping.

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  10. Wow! lol My hubs would probably come home with the minimal stuff. "It wasn't on the list."

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    1. Will he do seminars for other husbands?

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  11. My husband has been banned from the grocery store - I kind of think he went rogue on purpose so he wouldn't have to go anymore, lol). He USED to be able to stick to a list really well, now....not so much hence, the banishment.

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    1. What makes me really scratch my head is he thinks he is really doing well. Tonight though, supper was an odd concotion becasue the cupboards are weirdly stocked. Oh well.

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  12. He tried. Give him points for that. I never ask Hubby to go to the grocery store because he will spend $100 and come home with cookies, chips, and cereal. He can be worse then the kids. When we go to Target together I have to keep control of him. If he really wants something and its not on sale I tell him to use his blow money. Most times he puts the item back. His blow money is for him not groceries he tells me.

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    1. Oh, he 's never asked to go-I just expect his Thursday's will include a hop. I just thought he woudl keep it more in line with our target and if not at least have a bt more variety.

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  13. Funny- my husband would follow a list very strictly but then buy $$ wine! Both my soninlaws do all the grocery shopping and cooking! My daughters both love it although they have whispered they wish the guys were better at cleaning up after LOL. Neither fellow does much baking so no dessert but fruit which I guess is better.

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    1. I think my son is a good shopper, though I think he learned through necessity whole food cooking is less expensive and more filling than quicker processed stuff. He buys brown rice, dry beans, oatmeal etc, and cooks ebough for mutiple meals, If he ends up with a partner that doesn't like to cook, they will be OK.

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  14. I buy cereal the cheapest way. If that means a monster bag or box, I get it. Then, I use a freezer bag and put part of it in the bag, using the opened container. I never have a problem with it going stale. Plus, never opening one bag until the one she is using from is empty will help cereal to not be wasted.

    If you will keep enough different foods on hand, anything he brings home in bulk will work for meals. I never, ever shop with a meal in mind. I buy what is on sale. If I have lots of pasta at home, I can make all sorts of things to go with it or in it.

    No matter how it seems to me, if it frustrates your efforts at meal planning...grrr. Maybe you can drop a few hints about buying for meals.

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    1. I too would get sick of eating the same kind of cereal until it was gone, so it just doesn't make sense for our preferences. I know-indulgent-but I'm not so keen on saving money I ignore variety. Oh, the hints won't work if the outright "stay out of the grocery store" doesn't work. Besides, I have to write about something.

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