Ending committments Without Guilt

I cut one commitment from my plate.  I formally resigned Tuesday night from the children, youth, and family committee at my church. I've been involved in some way shape or form on this since 1992. I'm not saying I won't help with things any more, in fact I'll be helping with a baccalaureate breakfast for graduates on June 3rd, but I'm officially not going to be part of the planning, discussions, and decision making. I felt a twinge of guilt, but then decided that was just stupid. I've missed more meetings than I've attended the last two years due to the time and day scheduled. I no longer have young children and my daughter is so busy trying to keep up with school life, she has not done much with the youth groups since being confirmed. With resigning, I also stated out loud, that next year I am transitioning the Palm Sunday breakfast to someone else, so everyone might want to start casting their nets. 

Plus, I was just not feeling "called" any longer. I've been feeling that way a lot about organized religion in the last 18 months, not specific to my church. The last national election, the gun control-2nd amendment conflict, war on poor people, have kind of left me drained from Christian people repeating rhetoric that just feels so anti Christian. I guess I'd rather spend more time acting on my values and less time sending thoughts and prayers. But really, this is not ultimately why I resigned from this committee. It was pure self time management and realizing I want and believe my time is better spent doing other things right now.

It's hard giving up things that I've been a part of. I had a lot of FOMO, the fear of missing out, seeing all the posts and pictures from the symposium for a policy group I used to be part of. It was also the 25th anniversary of the organization and there was a huge gala this year. I was invited as a past board director and officer. The time and cost of flight and accommodations made it impossible, plus, I left that work over three years ago. Time to move on in my head. 

We are under 6 years on the  count down for DH to stop working. Once retired, he's going to want to be able to take off and do things without much thought to schedules and external time commitments. So even though I'll be working several years longer than he will be, I'll want to keep my after work and weekend schedule moderately light. I honestly don't know anymore when I will retire. With my vacation accrual increasing and having three day weekends every other week, I feel like I'll have a pretty good work-home balance in terms of schedule. Each year I work I add both to savings while  covering our living expenses, making what we have saved to date go farther. Though with working longer, if that is what I decide, I still want both quality and quantity of free time. With DD2 in her last year of school next year, having one less hold on the calendar is a good thing. I just need to make sure I'm exchanging time for something of good value. That will keep any twinges of guilt at bay.