Happy Halloween and Happy Birthday My Courageous Girl

I've always loved Halloween. When you also get blessed with a beautiful child on the same day, it feels like the holiday was meant for her. DD1  likes Halloween, ghosts, and zombies, and all things that make the scary part of Halloween. She is also my quintessential fall girl-apple picking and pumpkin patches, cozy sweaters for a long hike in the woods watching the fall leaves. It is only fitting that she sent October, 1990, out with her arrival.

She has had 14 moves, including her various college housing, in the last 10 years, starting  a new adventure where she knew no one multiple times. While her last move is back to her home town, she hasn't really lived here in 10 years, her old friends moved to other parts of the cities, some married, some with kids, and she is starting again to figure out the social stuff of life. 

It takes courage to uproot yourself, start new chapters without any knowledge where the book will go. In the last year, she uprooted herself  not just physically, but mentally, finally breaking free of an on again off again  relationship that was toxic. She also put a pause on a couple friendships that had become very one sided-she was there for any urgent calls, texts, trips back here or across town, but she herself was the subject to last minute cancellations. or "I can't talk right now." 

Career wise, she was awesome at her last job, getting notice and accolades for her work. She was rewarded though with an unbalanced work load, and under payment. Surviving a restructure last year that resulted in hundreds of layoffs, the environment had become less creative and more cautious. She also learned young staff right out of college were hired higher than her starting point, but then she was expected to mentor, train, and coddle them, doing damage control on unprofessional behavior when in the field. She had a few other job opportunities before accepting the one that brought her home, but they were highly rigid structures, without future growth options.

She is paid now, moderately close to representational of her experience, education, and talent. She's the youngster in a small team of veterans, trying to learn a new work culture. She's ready to be racing in the Tour de France, though they seem to be keeping training wheels on her bike. Her new colleagues seem to respect her though, even if they haven't let her fully take on what she was hired to create and deliver. 

 Last night she had DD2 and I over for vegan fajitas and to carve pumpkins. She is feeling a bit down, at Halloween and her birthday, without a circle of close friends nearby to celebrate. I hope she knows this is just temporary. My birthday wish for her is that others who see her kindness, warmth, and energy surround her with friendship and love in the coming year.This post is me sharing my love and awe of my second child. She is navigating life on her own terms, even though it can feel isolating and is not the easy path. Love you kiddo!