Wednesday, December 12, 2018

Season of Discontent

I love the Christmas season and I have been a busy person taking it all in. Last night was DD2's orchestra concert and Saturday is the school choir concert. My daughters and I have been to the holiday festival and shopping in the decked out stores. DH and I drove a bit out of our way and looked at lights. It is all both a joy to my senses, yet from time to time, a feeling of a little bah humbug slipped in. I understand the feeling of discontent this time of year can draw out, the mix of overwhelming joy and apathy that can happen interchangeably during this month. I feel some of that as well, the feeling of discontent, the lack of contentment, feeling dissatisfied with what's going on around  me hits me. I woke up to it a bit this morning.

Knowing I can get like this, I have to focus extra to not let myself wallow in it. My December goal list, particularly healthy eating and exercise, is one strategy to combat my lethargy or risk of holiday month fatigue. So also is giving myself permission to ignore for a day, no holiday music, no wrapping, shopping, or baking, and recognize, this month is not really any different. I still go to work, there is still laundry to do and meals to make. Hallmark blows right past the day to day  existence when everyone, except if they work in the local cafĂ© or bakery, seem to do nothing but enjoy holiday cheer for weeks. Getting sucked into thinking I have to be enjoying more and more of the spectacle of the season sets me up potentially for a big let down when it is all done. It's kind of like big vacations-you plan and plan, love the time, but then once back, there can be an empty feeling. Letting go of someone else's expectations has always been hard for me. Yet, that "someone" is pretty much my alter ego, the one vivaciously full of life and a social butterfly.

If anyone can relate, here's my short focus items to keep my mind on a more even keel.
  • As much as I love the holiday cheesy movies, I'm setting them aside for the rest of week. I OD'd something fierce, and have unrealistic sugar plums not dancing around, but ready to fall on my head.
  • Get outside and really breath the fresh air. My older daughter is an avid hiker and coupled with being an early riser, she gets up early and has headed to a couple different local parks with gorgeous views and other than natures crystals from snow and ice, not a holiday decoration to be seen. 
  • Get my 2019 calendar prepped. Keeping an eye forward, while enjoying today will help temper any feelings of fear of missing out that I might have by stepping back from some things this month. 
  • Really watch what I am eating. Just because treats are every where, there really is no need to indulge. Packing those fruits, drinking lots of water, and keeping myself as healthy physically as I can means I'll sleep better at night, and keep my energy levels even. I am the last person that needs to sugar crash. 
I haven't hit the discontent period this year, but the lethargy might be creeping in. The rest of the week before the weekend I'm intentionally staying home. While I do have things for Christmas to do, I may choose to just set them aside, focus on the mundane parts of life like the laundry pile, a hemming of a skirt, the 2019 calendar, while listening to a favorite pod cast. Maybe I'll do some intent searches for the new recipe I want to try. Even people who ooze Christmas spirit like I do could use a break from it. Mine will be the next few days. 

10 comments:

  1. Congratulations on recognizing you need a "Tinsel Break". I do not decorate my house as early as a lot of people do because I get overloaded easily then look around and don't see it's charm. Instead I just see clutter and it bothers me. This year since it is just going to be TheHub and me for Christmas we are even forgoing the ornaments on the tree and are just having lights and a bow. The tree is still pretty (only when lit) and I am totally non stressed about it looking "perfect"

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    1. Lights and bows are lovely. The years I set up two trees (decided not to again this year) the second one just had lights, bows, and basic baubles, and it made me feel calm.

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  2. "Letting go of someone else's expectations..." This is good advice to keep with you throughout the year. I don't know why we hold ourselves to such high standards during the holidays. I think the minute it stops becoming fun, and starts becoming a source of stress, is time to let something go. Of course, it'd be nice if we didn't take it on in the first place, wouldn't it? And you're right, it's easy to get sucked in to an expectation of the season which doesn't meet with our individual reality. My father, a secular humanist, taught me my best holiday spirit saving technique. He took Advent as a time to disengage from the din (easy enough as a professor, so he had a long winter break.) He said peace on earth had to begin with peace of self, and all he wanted for Christmas was peace on earth. My childhood Advent memories are of him sitting in his favorite chair, admiring our tree with a drink in hand, while listening to his favorite music, (old time jazz). We were welcome to join, but we had to be still--we could read or write. I do a similar thing--my kids call it "watching the candles burn." Enjoy the rest of your week. Peace, Sam.

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    1. Your father sounds like a wise and cam man. My husband has a hard time with quiet, so I would need to kick him out.

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  3. Funny your post hits my nail today. I suffer from seasonal light deprivation disorder, or what ever the scientific term is. I have a light over my computer and over my sewing machine, but today I am quite blue and I don't know why. I really dislike this. But I take hope in the fact that the 21st (shortest day of the year is close by and the clock will start again. We only have about 8.5 hours of daylight here right now and it really affects me. It is the consumerism that bothers me.

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    1. I didn't even put my "blah's" on the light deprivation. Not only are the days short, we have had a lingering haze and air quality warnings-that might be a big part of it. Yes, the time will change soon and then the days get longer again.

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  4. Things have been really tricky with kids stuff lately & I was shocked to look at the calendar & realize that we're flying out next Friday for the holidays. In some ways, it's great. It's close, & I'll be able to rest & relax form work. In others, I'm not at all prepared for the end of the year.

    I've been having anxiety dreams a lot lately, which prevents a good night's sleep, & makes the next day lethargic for sure. I really need to focus on sleep hygiene & getting rest & exercise.

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    1. Even if I could get 5-6 uninterupted (dog, bladder) I'd be happy. No fun tossing and turning from anxiety induced dreams. Take care of yourself.

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  5. And, big hugs to you. This can be a really challenging time of year, where expectations of "happy, happy, happy" doesn't always align with additional expectations, work, and life.

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    1. When I was getting coffee before a meeting at a sister agency, the lady in the cafeteria, a kind women but with some developmental delays and mental health issues, was sharing with the person ahead of me how hard her Christmas will be as she lost her son last summer. The four of us in line, just let her talk, and take her time ringing up our coffees. She needed people to hear her, and to hear kind words back. the poor woman-I hope people will support her, though I know people get in the hurry hurry mode-can't be bothered hearing the sad story from the woman that rings up in the cafeteria. Still, I hope enough people slow down, like we did, and just let her grieve out loud a bit.

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