I feel like I may need to put more concrete fiscal calculations on paper to convince DH he really can retire even earlier. I'm working on that. Ensuring we don't have financial demise is critical to him. There's priceless benefits too and I think he's seeing them. More morning views like the one above is a good starting place. This is my list so far.
Things his early(ier) retirement does for him/us:
- Full weekends as a family while we're relatively healthy. I'm so over his working Saturdays!
- Any nice days able to stay over at lake as I can work remotely using hot spot.
- Time for travel. I'll still have five+ weeks of vacation + flex days off, so easier to get away for full weeks or four day weekend's compared to now with him only having three weeks off and not even two days off in a row. At least for now, we've had approval for short remote work, even if out of state. While we can't relocate yet, if we went somewhere for 3-4 weeks, I could combine vacation and work days.
- More time for extended family, especially going to the kids ( his brothers kids, great nephews and nieces, our own grands eventually) sporting events and performances. He really enjoys that.
- Time with his retired friends. They keep each other laughing, and it's time I can avoid the good old boys unless we meet as couples.
- Errands run at more convenient times. Please retired people, and those who work 2nd shift, try and avoid peak times if you can. I'm not trying to be ageist and realize many seniors rely on others for transportation so subject to their availability which is why I said, if you can. It's really hard the number of necessary errands that still only operate the old "bankers hours" with just a few options for after 5 or possible Saturday mornings, and cramming things over lunch hours is near impossible, especially when there's lines of people who presumably could do the same thing before 11:30 or after 1:30. ( Rant over and apologies if I offended you.)
- Staying ahead of home and car maintenance. DH is actually quite handy, and generally likes both kinds of projects. But now, he starts and doesn't finish things because of his schedule, then projects get dragged out. He'll have time to treat these tasks like his job.
- Creativity time, painting and drawing again. DH is a pretty talented artist, but he's never been one to force creative outlets into minimal time off.
- More shared regular cleaning and housework which frees up my time away from work for fun and creative pursuits
- Improved eating- less fast food, even though he only does a couple times a week, it's at least 2 x per week too often
- Heart healthy exercise time for DH as opposed to just foot pounding exercise
Are you seeing a trend? DH is good tactically and artistically, where I'm not. He doesn't organize events, plan for holidays, travel, family things, and doesn't cook much at all. Pre-kids, pre- big house, we were a good team. We can get back to that balance. Lots of you suggested DH could get a different perhaps part time or seasonal. While not ruling that out, he has some ideas for a different way to earn a little revenue post retirement, but that still frees him up to not be on someone else's calendar or clock at all.
It was nice that he got home about 2:30 on Saturday, but I was deep in my daughter's clutter so we didn't do anything extra. But, he got pup out for a walk and play and both were happy for the rest of the day. For those of you that either retired early yourself, or convinced your spouse too, what gains have you experienced? How are you maximizing the change in free time?
My husband had weekends and holidays off and ample vacation time but ALL of the other things you mentioned are true for our situation.
ReplyDeleteHe does still have the TKD school which he spends about 20 hours a week at. But he owns it and he sets the schedule so it works well for us.
He took over a lot of things around the house and errands which saves me SO much frustration and time.
He retired 9 years ago and it has been wonderful for us both.
The TKD school would be the type of activity I could see my husband continuing, if he had good teachers besides himself. I'm glad for you both it worked out well.
DeleteHubby came in the door from work looking gray. He had just did CPR on a good friend while at work. I let him talk it out, didn't expect the guy to live... he did. I then flat out told him to pick a retirement date because I would rather divorce him then watch him die due to the stress like I did my husband before him. He picked the end of the year.
ReplyDelete3rd shifters do errands first thing in the morning after work or around 4. Second shifters do it at lunch time.
If he isn't helping around the house with the cleaning... don't be upset when he doesn't after retirement... like Hubby or he will be like my Daddy who was such a perfectionist that my step mom went back to work part time and let him do the cleaning (that would work for me:)
Hubby went back to work for himself hauling (he used to farm, then drove semi's then factory with EMT... I reminded him the a couple months ago he was RETIRED and didn't need to work 12 hour days or 6 days a week.
That would have been a horrible experience-thank heavens your husband was there and knew what to do. I don't see my husband being a perfectionist, but he get sin mad cleaning cycles on occasion on Thursdays-when I'm trying to work. He can have his manic days on days I'm in the office. Congratulations on him setting a date.
DeleteHaving spend our weekend initially transporting (adult) kids about to and from the train station etc, we spent some time just him and me (and the dog) and watched the sun go down -he said - I'd like to do this all the time, so he decided to start seriously thinking of reducing his working hours and increase the mortgage payments to shorten what is left to pay, we both agree that for some reason we work harder and longer now than we ever did when we were younger. We want more time to play!
ReplyDeleteWe sure have earned the play time at a certain point in our life. I wish you luck making it happen.
DeleteMy spouse will definitely retire after me (his choice), but the hours your husband has to work & overall schedule sounds so hard, particularly as he ages. Fingers crossed you are able to show him the numbers to feel convinced on a realistic timing.
ReplyDeleteI think he'll see this summer, our last likely with our college kid around much, how fast time goes and he should take advantage of it while we can.
DeleteRunning errands at a less busy time was certainly and advantage of my SAHM/DH retired life. I remember the bustle of trying to fit errands in to my lunch hour, or on the weekends. I try to avoid peak times whenever possible--I'm at the point now, since kids all drive, where I try to avoid being on the road before school or at dismissal. From about 6:30 a.m. - 9 a.m., then from about 2:30 - 6 p.m., traffic is annoyingly heavy. The one thing I liked, though, about having to fight traffic to do the school drop off in the morning was being able to swing by the supermarket at o'dark thirty, when it was pretty much empty. The downside, though, to this was things like the deli weren't yet open.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate those that try and avoid peek times when they have choice. It was a great benefit of kids driving was sending them with lists as they would pass every possible store on route home after practice or wherever they were at school and it helped so much. My drop off was always on route to work.
DeleteMy experience most men hesitate about retirement not from financial worry but more about what am I going to do with myself? I hope this is not the case with your mister
ReplyDeleteI can say that is not the case with my hubs. He has loads to keep him busy, but needs the mental health, ad clock time to do it. With him, it's a money worry.
DeleteI retired a couple of months before my 60th birthday - in order to get a full pension I would have had to work until 67....and that wasn't happening. The stress of my workplace was just too much and I did a lot of number crunching in deciding when to leave.
ReplyDeleteUltimately it made most sense to leave when I did because my mental health was most important. I figured if I found it too difficult to manage financially I'd find something part-time. At first the lower income did seem restrictive, but I soon learned that sometimes I bought stuff just because I could. I've become more conscious about needs and wants - and I'm still able to put funds into savings for future needs every month.
The blessing in retirement is time. Time to do the things you want to do, rather than have to do. As you mentioned there is no rush to cram the chores and housework into a weekend or in the few hours in the evening. One of my favorite things has been the ability to sit with a cup of tea or coffee in the morning deciding what I will do that day. And I find that things just get done as I'm not feeling the pressure to do it. (I think I'm maybe weird that way).
You mentioned time with family and friends and that is a huge bonus too. We don't know how much time we'll be given and sometimes that gets cut short. Just ten days ago, an acquaintance of mine passed away unexpectedly; he was just 68. Shortly before I retired, a co-worker who had recently retired, dropped dead of a heart attack at the age of 62. It sounds morbid, I suppose, but my theory is that I didn't want to look back and think, I missed out on the opportunites to spend time with those I love and doing the things I enjoy, just to add to the pension.
Good luck to you and your husband as you consider your options. In the end it's a personal decision that has to work for you and your family.
I plan to retire at 62 but will not take my pension until it fully matures at age 66. Partly because I would still be able to work on projects here and there in up to 45 day cycles one time per year and that would get added to my accrual as well. This has been a really boom for a few recently retired colleagues that we could have their expertise to get a project launched while we tried to get a person on staff. The difference between hubs and me is my job , while mentally draining aligns with my life style where as his is time drain on free time as well as long hours.
DeleteTell him the story of my inlaws, saving 1/2 a million dollars and they are too old to spend it. I am doing things now. I have even said to hell with quick debt pay off, although I do want it gone. But fun and travel first. Then debt.
ReplyDeleteHe knows personlly too many people wo have retired only to then pass away too early. His dad's best friend-a total money, money, money guy-died under 60 and it still took them a few years to convince his dad, who was the same way, to finally retire. He passed away at 74, so I'm glad he and my MIL had 13 years at least to enjoy retirement.
DeleteI love that you have it all sorted out, Sam!
ReplyDeleteWe're hoping that we can both retire in the next 6-7 years - and we both have so many hobbies we won't run out of things to do!
I feel bad for folks who retire and then lose their sense of being. I hope I can convince him with my lists and figures.
DeleteI think, he will love to have time on hand for you and his hobbies. I am also sure, his health will benefit from moving away from stressful work too. Life may be short so, as soon as one can comfortably retire, she/he should. I like the way you described how well you are as a team. Not everybody is blessed to have someone to love and respect for years. Wishing you both the best of luck and a happy and long life together.
ReplyDeleteI do as well. He has so many things that he would be able to spend time on for pure enjoyment. Well-we are a team on our good days, and annoy each other on others.
DeleteHubs was very much identified through his work. But having is leg break/scare Dec. 2016 made him rethink his position on retirement. He was out 6 months later. We've done a lot the last almost 5 years...lots of travel, cruises. Money isn't everything but it sure helps. lolz
ReplyDeleteWorking on finished the house redo/repairs and looking to move in the next 2 years. Hopefully the housing market doesn't deflate before then.
Of course we need enough money to live off of, but we don't need to live differently than now-except for the free time not at someone else's call. I'm sure my husband will feel like he lost some of his identity-I guess we all would to a certain extent. But then we can find the rest of us again hopefully.
DeleteOh man. Not the same as such, exactly, but when my most current con tract died with the feds, i
ReplyDeleteI decided to be a stay at home wife. No kids except a high school senior and with the knowledge that I might not be able to go back even if I wanted to which was the case. I cannot think if a down side I swear to God. Admittedly he was the primary earner by far. He had a highly intensive job with wierd offtimes and I was free whenever he was free. Our weekends were fly ours with no gotta do for the coming work week. I got rid of the housekeeper except fir once a month big things. We ate well. We relaxed in the evenings. I am a firm believer that one person not working or working as little as financially possible is a blessing and makes the whole family or marriage essential chaotic.
No housekeeper here. It sounds like things worked out well. For the last decade, my salary has been higher than his earnings average, but it has varied over the years. My income is stable. I think it would be a better place in our end of years to slow down and enjoy our time.
DeleteAll those points in your post are so important.We were able to retire 9 months earlier than planned with the financial planners advice and I'm so glad we did. Its only been two weeks but honestly, I feel SO much better.I'm sleeping 8-9 hours a night instead of 5-6, I've already lost 6 lb's without even trying, there is no rush or busyness or stress to my days at all now.DH has been home recouperating from surgery and we are really enjoying the days at home together.
ReplyDeleteLast week one of my former colleagues was diagnosed with terminal cancer & another's wife has had cancer return after five years free a few months ago. They are a similar age to me. Life is so unpredictable.
There will always be ways to earn extra money if needed and you are already good at managing finances. I hope it goes well for you both - you're going to love it! :)
9 months is a huge extra dose of free time. Well done to your planner and for you taking the advice. I really think he can't do more than one more winter.
DeleteSince TheHub is not mentioning retirement I say very little to him about it. His identity is wrapped up in what he does and I don't think he will ever be happily fully retired.
ReplyDeleteIf you can still do the things you want-travel to your kids, have them come visit you, your weekends and evenings together, then I guess it works. My husband has a schedule that impacts my life too much. I need him to be done.
DeleteI am not sure whether to be offended or not. I suppose we all wish that others would get out of the way and shop times other than what is convenient to us.
ReplyDeleteAt different times in my life, I have shopped when I could, when it was convenient for me. I think most people do!
Right now, I do not shop before 10:30 most of the time. And, going at 5 pm or after is insane because there are so many people in the stores. I avoid Big Box after 3 pm because there are so many people who are there after school and shift work. I am not making way for them, I am shopping when it is best for me. Around noon, people are leaving to go home to lunch, so I can shop more easily. As a matter of fact, all my life I have shopped when it suited me. I might shop after work, or when husband could pick up a child, or whatever was happening. I never planned shopping trips of any kind to accommodate what other shoppers needed. I think this is true of all people.
I'm not talking about shopping as stores have loads of hours people can fit into. I'm talking those things with very limited hours; banking, post office, government transactions, even things like hair or routine medical or dental appointments. Why, if people have more flexibility, go at these times? Of course we all have free will to do things when we feel like doing them, but don't be surprised if people don't have patience if you need extra help with something and you've intentionally chosen peak times instead of another.
DeleteThere is no way I would go to PO to do business at noon. They have their rights. A retail store staggers meal times. The PO thinks their workers must all go to lunch at noon. It is very frustrating. It is a business' job to be helpful and patient. I got when I can but do avoid big box where they people who know what is what, all go home at 4 pm. It is a wasteland as far as employees. It is best just not to go then.
DeleteWhen I use "you" in posts and comments it's a general term, not specifically to a single person; not literally you. While it might be people's jobs to be patient and helpful,clearly not everyone is and other patrons with limited time may show little grace. It's merely my observation.
DeleteI suppose you could say that Jon & I retired sixteen years ago when we became vintage traders rather than hobby sellers - when you do something you love it never feels like work! xxx
ReplyDeleteI think you and Jon figured out how to earn a living while living a life!
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