Friday, December 9, 2022

Free for All Friday- Another Big Decision Pending


I'm clinging to my house plants
as the only green we'll have
besides pine trees for a while. 

  Happy Friday all, and the end of another full work week. I'm ready to move a project to the next stage and at the same time, sick to my stomach about the potential impact of changes looking ahead. I can't worry about those, but it's hard to push worry aside. I'm technically off today, but am working on writing  reports and preparing documents, but I've kept my day free of meetings and will come and go as I want. Sort of like Friday blog posts. I really just give myself agency to ramble about nothing in particular. 

On a Big Decision

     We have another big decision to make about property ownership, family, and DH's legacy. I don't have details that can be shared, but DH and I are thinking very differently. I'm thinking long term future as the driver and he's thinking 6-24-36 months at most.  Neither view is right or wrong, but I think he'll regret if we make a decision based on the short term impact without taking into consideration long term. I guess that means I think my approach to the decision is the right approach, and his is wrong. Likely something needs to be decided by February, and that feels rushed to me. Like I really need more of my brain cells burned out. 

Winter Gatherings 

     My family and most friends celebrate Christmas. It's gets very busy in December, and then, stops. By mid January, I start getting a bit stir crazy now that I'm an empty nester, feeling like it's just week after week of cold, snow, and waiting for spring. With kids home, I had choir competition, ski village runs, and basketball tournaments. I for one am happy to see more opportunities in communities to celebrate beyond December. The town across the river is pushing their holiday hoopla to January 14, still many weeks of winter after, but it's past December at least. Maybe we'll head to the convention center for garden, boat, and other big trade shows. They're good for some theoretical window shopping. I'll save the Como Park Conservatory for a bleak winter day, maybe combine with a trip to a garden center and purchase more green plants to remind me spring will come. 

     I'm looking forward to my kids being home in January and planning a little gathering. I'm going to embrace football playoffs and the Super Bowl as markers to look forward to  getting together with others. The nice thing post holidays is gatherings are without having to come up with gifts or decorations. I feel I need to have things to look forward to, even if it's just game or girls poker night, lunch with the mom's, or inviting myself to a sleepover or vice versa at my daughter's. I don't want to feel like a shut in. That's the hard thing about working from home; except for walking the dogs, I literally do not need to leave my house. I need to remember I'm in charge of my calendar and time, but it's so easy to stop interacting outside of my home and hibernate. 

On Not Wallowing

     I started this post last night actually, then let it sit. I sure sound a bit petulant. "I don't like the cold long winter. Make it stopppppp!". I decided I need to stop wallowing and act. Three years ago two couples and us (or is it we) were going to start a 500 Card club. Just four couples, even though it's more fun with six and three tables going, with friends of our friends rounding things out. It was to start in April 2020. I put word out to revisit this idea and one couple is already in, to start in February.  

     I'll need to coordinate with my daughter for a reverse doggie daycare with pup, but I decided we need a weekend away. Just one full day, lunch and dinner out, an overnight, and a lazy brunch. DH gets one Saturday a month off so if I can make that work with my daughters schedule, we'll be set. Now I'm going to research options, no more than 2-2.5 hours away. I feel invigorated already! 

     Last, I was also going to start attending more presentations, talks, author visits, whatever. They are back, not quite as plentiful as others have been hibernating too, but more than last year and the year before. I am a person that needs more/ different mental stimulation from work. DH is content coming home and relaxing in front of the television each night. I plan to put some of these on my calendar too. Of course trivia nights will continue. 

     There you have it. Sam's brain on overdrive. The overwhelmed, the bored, the cranky,and now the energized. Please add to my list ways to stop the wallow. 




22 comments:

  1. I’m feeling wallowy too so I’m no help. You hit the nail right on the head in your reply to my comment prior. I spend enough time with these people and a forced gift exchange isn’t improving my mood. The weather has been pleasant so far but it’s usually January, February and March when things go downhill around here. I’m off to go pick up DD in a few minutes. She’s currently taking her last final, the one she has been dreading and insists she isn’t going to do well on. She’s made me feel nervous about it too, but I just keep pumping her tires and hoping for the best. I really do think she’ll do just fine, if not great but the professor is a bit of a wild card and I’m waiting for something to come out of left field. I just can’t wait to have my house full again :) My mom friends and I are planning to do an escape room sometime in January, something we’ve talked about doing for awhile. Hang in there, Sam. It sounds like you have a lot going on but I do believe you will get everything straightened out. You are a logical thinker and a problem solver and I know you will do what’s best. JoAnn

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    1. My current director, interim, is pretty free with deciding how people should spend their time and money too. We've " gifted" multiple times to staff, our own funds, and she thinks more should be done in January. That's fine, but it's more a telling us her idea to act on. We'll get the property thing figured out. I sat for a day and gave my thoughts to DH, who understands my points a bit better.

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  2. Your winters are long and hard. In England they were long, grey and wet - which is why I left! I don't think you sound petulant at all not enjoying the entire long winter. Maybe you need a bit of "hygge"! My neighbour was saying she loves it when December is over because "spring is almost here". That's not true of course but it certainly gives hope!

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    1. The word I can't pronounce and don't totally understand the meaning! True, after 12/21 we move towards spring, but have you been to Minnesota in March?

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  3. Difficult decisions are HARD! Living now while planning for another 30 years is challenging for most people. You're a prolific writer here. I suspect you are writing it all out with pros and cons for discussion? (Rhetorical and no response expected).

    I wish you Peace :-)

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    1. The thing is, this involves our kids, but we need to make the decision based on today's, but for the future. I think we have consensus.

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  4. We tend to ski (first week of January & then again mid Feb) & I'm likely to have at least one international work trip in January. So, it's not a quiet time, but I definitely notice the impact to my mood from the weather.

    A weekend away sounds so fabulous. I'm really glad you're taking the time to treat yourself, and your husband. Sometimes the small breaks are more important than larger ones - they break up the monotony, make us more creative in our decision making, & just give us a bit of perspective.

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    1. Work won't be quiet at all, but I want fun. Two ski trips is great. A chalet, coffee, and book would suit me.

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  5. We do a lot of day trips which we really enjoy. We live in the perfect spot for them. An hour south, west or east takes us to another state with endless possibilities. Enjoy your Friday!!

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    1. We too could do more day trips. We're not quite as close to other states except Wisconsin, but on a nice Sunday a drive might be a good plan.

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  6. I would like to take a weekend trip in January, but I'll have to do with 'Staycation' while I recuperate.

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    1. I hope you feel well to read, watch a few movies, and that others will be there to help you.

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    2. I have people to take care of me!

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    3. That's good. You deserve to focus on your health.

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  7. In Ode to the West Wind, Percy Shelley said, "If winter comes, can Spring be far behind?" Well, I say, If Christmas comes, can Spring be far behind?" I suppose I am correct since the days do start getting longer, if only by seconds. I am a person who likes to attend things, lectures, art shows, art openings, poetry readings, anything mostly. But, with trying not to get Covid, and now flu and RSV, I find that staying in or at least staying out of crowds is not so hard. Sure, I shop, but try to stay in on days and times there are crowds.
    Living where you do with all that winter on the ground would surely kill me. At least here we can go for a short ride or sit in the park if nothing else. We both read. Going to anything that involves walking is out of the question, but I don't fret about it as fretting would be counterproductive.

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    1. So many of these events are during the day, which makes sense for their mostly retired audience, but don't work for my schedule. True, days do get seconds then minutes longer after December.

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  8. We are wallowing here, lol. After having our daughter here for a short, but wonderful visit, we are bummed that she's gone again. The only thing that helps is long walks, preferably on a beach. We did that a couple of days ago and it helped. Walking in nature also helps for a mood reset.

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    1. The worst part of coming home, or having them come home, is leaving again. I'll have my wayward two for a few days in January. No walks on the beach here, but a sunny day, if dressed right, a walk in the park is something.

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  9. Oh gee, big decisions are hard, and even harder when you aren’t on the same page as the other half of your decision making team. Talk it through and you will both reach a solution you are happy with. Megan

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    1. I think we have reached a decision, though there's details to finalize, and a side plan to make it work better to develop.

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  10. Hubby was that way until mid 50s... it was always about the next 12-18 months. I think it came from growing up farming and loans being due. I on the other hand am my father's child (mother never planned anything even for her retirement). I write out where I think we should be 1 yr, 5 yrs, and 10 yrs. THEN I ask Hubby for his plans and see which would guide us to where I think we should be

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  11. Wallowing ain't so bad from time to time.

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