Just Try It For Today

Is happiness really a state of mind?  Can you truly live a happier life by pushing aside negative thoughts, petty complaints, and fits of jealousy? Can embracing an attitude of fullness verses a a deficit mindset be the right course for overall bliss? Would I wake up happier tomorrow if for just today I squealsh every negative thought, word, and impulse back?  Lovely Grey has some good thoughts today on being a half full glass kind of gal.  As I had no post ideas, I'm branching off my comments in her blog to see if I really could get through the whole day with an air of bliss.

It might be tough, but a little challenge is good.  First off, I had a not so great night of sleep because pup drank more water then normal last night after an extra long walk, and up we were at 1:00 for a trip outside, followed by tough time falling back to sleep.  But hey, no accident to clean up this morning-that was kind of him!  The next door neighbors put in a lovely new fence, but because of digging, the utilities on our line needed to be shut off.  This triggered a new gas meter being installed.  I am without gas until they come out after 2:30 to relight.  This means cold showers, no hot water for dishes, and no clothes dryer, with a mountain of laundry.  Well, we'll just see what we can come up with instead, shall we.  If Lovely Grey can live a full life in a motor home,  with clean body, hair, clothes and dishes, I can improvise for a day.

What I have to smile about today...

• Clean water out of my own taps, coffee grounds, electricity, and my Keurig coffee maker
• Soft, cozy bed to take a nap in later should I need to (or want to)
• Sunshine and a nice breeze, a clothes line to dry laundry
• Hair brush and plenty of pony tail holders to give myself an interesting "up do"
• Tea kettle that boils water really quickly, ready to heat up dishwater, and"bathing" water
• Empty dishwasher to hide the dirty dishes that can be washed once gas is back on
• Food in the refrigerator,freezer, and cupboards including vegetable cream cheese and onion bagels

It's 8:29, and things are cheery in my head. It's time to declare this day open for business. 

December Joy in Full Swing

The first week of December is almost to an end, and I think so far, on the home front, I've been able to keep the calm, peace, and spirit of Christmas.  Work has been a whole different game, and I had no less than a melt down a day in the last week.  I did get some inkling of news that an opportunity might present itself soon, so fingers crossed.   Whoever said no crying in the work place would have had a field day with me! Even with that, I think my meltdowns were a source of release, because once recovered, I was able to move on and fix what I could, or just set aside what I  couldn't and be productive. I am good at my job and I seriously care about the work I do and our company does, so that helps me keep focused.

Work aside, I want to avoid drama in my personal life.  While there are real  threats to our personal well being, illness, under or unemployment, bills and expenses that weren't planned, friends and family facing tough stuff, adding  issues of our own creation will get a person no where. Dwelling on a comment someone made, and unintentionally using it to fuel an old angst, was one of my worst "drama" flaws. Trying to fix things that don't need fixing, or at least don't need fixing by me, was another bad habit. December, ripe with holiday cheer and faith, is a great time to frame things in different ways and get new perspective.  Think of the things in the past year that have given you genuine joy. Of course there are vacations and new cars, or entertainment things, but within those even what were the pieces that mattered?  Was it the new flat screen TV to replace the dead tube version in itself, or the fact that we could all once again watch a movie, the winter Olympics, and the World Cup all together in the family room? Who were the people I spent time with, and what were we doing, that when done, I felt energized and happy?  What were the things I did and the people I did them with, that drained me? How did I contribute to either scenario?  These are questions I am trying to ask to better develop my new frame of reference.

I think of our trip to the UK last year, that for me was a lifetime wish fulfilled.  The whole trip was wonderful and the history and attractions will be remembered forever in awe and wonder.  Though within that trip, meeting my daughters friends and having a family dinner with them was joyful.  Going to Wales, the ancestral home of my paternal great grandfather, and learning that families abound in that part of the UK with my maiden name gave me joy. I could bring back for my brother, a scroll that outlines the history of that surname, and that made me happy. 

There was joy spending one on one time with each of my children this past year.  All five of us have not been together since March of 2013, because of school and work by my older two.  It gives me joy knowing my older kids now live in the same city, genuinely like us as parents and each other as siblings, and stay connected.  Would I make the same choices and decision they have about their life-probably not, but I'll support them in their choices. I'm not kidding myself that there is always joy, and I've been on the receiving end of their frustration at job and relationship woes, and times where my phone call has gone unreturned, but in my current frame of reference, I can't dwell on what I don't get from them as a parent.

My extended family makes me happy, particularly now with fewer of us, those still here mean even more.  My sisters are my best friends.  I trust them completely, sharing our concerns, our successes, and our wishes. I received a recipe from my mother's cousin in Norway for Christmas Rosettes, made them-very tricky, but after posting a picture of the successful ones on Facebook, another cousin told me I would have made our grandmother, who I never knew, proud.  That gave me joy. 

Coffee or a glass of wine, or just a good walk with a friend were looked forward to as much as a planned event like my class reunion. Sharing a friends happiness as she radically downsized her home freeing up much needed resources and liberating herself from "stuff" was inspiring. Seeing how happy DD#2 was receiving some hand me downs from a friends daughter, a very accomplished runner and role model, was sheer bliss. The items were great, but because they came from S, were really appreciated.

We can do all things as humans to muck up peace, love, and joy in the world.  We can spend huge amounts of money chasing elusive geese that we think will lay golden eggs to fund our personal happiness, and never be happy. I can be jealous of the new car and the exotic vacation my colleague took, wondering how much more they are paid than me, or I could take them up on their offer of going for coffee, and hearing about the places they went to, that they know I have an interest in. (This was a little tough, but I did the latter). I'm finding as I work and achieve better  inner vision and perspective, the simpler things are what are giving me the most joy.  I think I have a healthy use of money-it is a tool to help manage your life, but should not be the focus of your life.  If I make the change employment wise, more than likely it will be at a financial ding to cash flow.  Some would call that ridiculous, but I will be looking at the whole package-not just compensation, but what personal values will the change help me nurture.

With that, here are my reverse advent  gifts since Tuesday when I last posed. I haven't done a give away yet today, but will when we go out later.  I have a couple options for today, tomorrow, and Monday I am noodling which to do when. I know many are not participating because they donate throughout the year, and no guilt to others intended. To me, this is a bit of symbolism, holding my self accountable when I have so much, to be conscientiously giving to others.  With this, I too am finding joy.

• Target gift card
• brand new boots, size 8 1/2 bought for an unbelievably low sale price  without trying on a year or two ago, that I can't zip up, great style and will hopefully work well for some up and coming professional needing to build their wardrobe
• the tween clothes I had packed up earlier in the week

 "'It's not how much we give but how much love we put into giving." Mother Theresa