Sunday, November 16, 2014

Mother Angst

My daughter arrived safely at what four days ago was going to be her new city.  Three days of driving, and a day of being overwhelmed, she says she wants to pack it in.  Of course that is not realistic, and no one should make any life decisions when they are physically and emotionally exhausted, but I can't help feeling I helped lead to this frustration.  Did my angst bleed through to her to the point that she already thinks she made a bad decision?  Is she just experiencing what every young adult feels when they attempt to launch half a country away, and this is entirely normal-almost expected?  I'm looking for stories-the good, the bad, the funny, about supporting adult kids in settling new.  No helicoptering is intended, but if I am going to get the calls, and tears through the phone line, I want to be prepared. 

While this is not a mommy blog, nor an empty nest blog, so much of my identity the last 26 year has been that of mom.  Mom first in fact.  Every other identity I had, sorry to say even wife, took a step behind the mom role.  When you decide to be a parent with love and intention, doesn't it mean that you have decided to use your earthly powers, no matter how slight, to protect them? I'll keep talking her down from her emotions when she calls.  I'll keep sending her web links with advice and tips from others who have relocated to a new city, more to help me cope, than I think she'll really read and utilize. Ultimately she will need to decide, and she can't decide for a while, as there is no way she will drive cross country alone again, and it would take time to work out a drive buddy for her. Perhaps by then, her angst will have dissipated and she is feeling more sure.  Ok readers, your turn.  Aunties, uncles, friends, and colleagues of those that have experienced please join in as well.  You may have the best  feedback, having witnessed the angst a person removed. I hope you all had a more restful weekend than I. 

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