Wednesday, September 21, 2016
Doing What I'm Not Good At
I love my new camera, though still trying to figure it out. I'm a horrible photographer though, despite the ease of it. But I love taking pictures, remembering events, trying to make my own blog photos in hopes that one day I'll get that perfect picture where what is seen with my eyes is captured in the shot. I'll keep taking them, hoping to get better, but knowing I may never be great at it.
I love writing this blog. I reread posts and it is not just a diary of my life, but a social commentary of my mindset at the time, my challenges, my highlights, my opportunities. I read blogs from people who are truly good writers and have a knack for telling their stories and think, "damn, I wish I could write like that." Right now, I don't have that talent, nor time to carefully mull over my thoughts, and rephrase and try to use my words to better capture what my mind wants on the screen. I am a slap dash writer, grammar and punctuation errors abound, and I am sorry for the ones I don't catch. That won't stop me from blogging though.
I want to master the perfect latte art. Those lovely white and mocha brown designs of froth on top of the espresso make the coffee sing when I enjoy it. I don't have the right equipment, the steady hand, and the imagination to picture the abstract turning into a design, but yet, I'll keep trying to create the S'Americano. (see what I did there S'Am...) I took a picture of this attempt today. Combining my love of taking (for now bad) pictures with my love of trying to create visually interesting (but weird) coffee drinks, I failed at both attempts.
I'm in my 50th year, and it has not been amazing. Life did not begin again at 50. I didn't conquer new life goals or climb a mountain side, run a marathon, or sky dive like many of my friends and former classmates did this last year. What I did though was keep trying and doing things I'm not good at but make me smile and make me content. I write this because while I haven't had an amazing year, it has been a good one. I chatted with a friend recently about what it feels like to get older and what we thought we would have accomplished at this stage in life. She is the last of my friends to turn 50 and her birthday was this week. Our little baby, the youngest in school, who had a "movers and shakers" kind of career in her twenties and early 30's, but decided to put that life on the shelf when she became a mom.
She has a cute Etsy shop and does a few craft fairs a year. She travels to soccer, volleyball, and basketball tournaments. She travels east to her visit her husbands family each summer, spending a glorious month beach side. Twenty-five years ago, she had an amazing life from my then perspective, a tired working mom of two toddlers. Now, she has intentionally chosen a very different path, but yet, is always trying something new. The Etsy shop and craft uses her marketing skills, and she is always trying to add to her product as she learns new craft items to make. I told her how envious I am of her ability to do all these things, and raise her kids. She laughed, and told me to "look in the mirror."
I'm trying hard not to sell myself short, that too is something I am not good at but keeping at it with practise. Trying new things and plodding along at old things that I am just not great at, but enjoy and want to do better, keeps me fulfilled. Maybe my friend and I don't mark our lives through monumental moments, but perhaps have amazing lives all the same.