More in Common

DH works on Saturdays so he rarely likes to go out or do things other than perhaps watch a movie n Friday nights. I on the other hand often like something on Friday night, particularly when I have worked that day, to separate the work week. It worked out well that I had my new Mom's of Teen's kick off gathering last night. This was quickly arranged by S, who is the owner of the Performing Arts Center where DD2 took violin for three years. She also is very involved with the community theater and often is in the orchestra pit to accompany the school choirs. She's a really nice, community focused woman who is newer to the world of parenting teens. A few of us laughed a the invite as we have some that have full on flown the coop and are in our last years of parenting teens. That was the point, S responded. Let's learn, lament, laugh, and share from  each others experiences. Works for me. 

The first session was just seven of us, since there was only a weeks notice and too many conflicts, We plan to gather once per month, alternating between a Friday night and Saturday morning for breakfast. It's great to use the art studio space for this, and we pitched in to clean up the wine glasses, coffee mugs, and treat plates. Of the seven, of course I knew S, and two other women more as acquaintances as fellow Strings/choir parents. The other three were considerably younger than me, but interestingly enough, our commonalities were more than just kids in the same demographics. While we joked about solving all woes of parenting teens, we veered off on personal health and wellness, discussing various walking groups and community classes each of us were dabbling in, and issues of elder care. It was a fun evening, and I look forward to the next meeting in October. Those that came last night offered to take care of the breakfast and give S, who still will offer her space, the deserved break. 

I love when women can be of the mindset to lift each other up, not compete. I try in the work place to be collaborative, and with three young 30's on my team, I look for opportunities to be a mentor or support to their career. Sadly, I know young women who have had women bosses that see the young workers as threats. I was blessed with a few bosses that helped me thrive in  my career, never once seeing my "talent" as taking away from theirs. Even my last boss before I left, though we had challenges of priorities and egotism, mentored and tried to cultivate the next generation of leaders. She just wanted them to be cultivated to her ways of thinking. 

I rehash in my head some of my former or failed relationships with other women. Some ended just because of time, distance, and life cycle changes. A few though were very intentional, one or the other of us just simply stopped connecting, stopped inviting the other. I used to feel bad about the disconnect with virtually all of my close high school friends, envious, perhaps jealous, that several have stayed so close. In my wise old age, I realize now that we really did not have that much in common, even back in our own teen years. And a few friends that I lost touch with in high school and college, have now been back in my life and we have more in common now than we ever did before. 

That's what's nice about connecting to people in new ways. Finding the commonality, being able to talk about shared interests and shared problems and challenges without any expectations or assumptions. While I'll have fond memories of my friends in my high school years, I'm happy to keep them there. I hope I don't ever stop meeting new people and building new friendships, even if they are only for  a short while.