Tuesday, June 14, 2022

Positively Tuesday-But Struggling

      It was a hard past week. Too many lumps and too little gravy, both for me and family. We just seem to be on a low patch right now. Things just not working as we hope,  my stress is high and resiliency low. I'm feeling a lot of second hand anxiety, and not sure how to best manage my internal response to others challenges. I know the hard days do pass. I take walk, deep breaths. Then think. There's always something to find a bit of joy in, or a simple pleasure. I make sure to find at least 10 things to appreciate each week.

  1. I coaxed DH to the local concert by the river. We both enjoyed it and I had a catch-up with an old highschool friend.
  2. We were surprised to learn there was video bingo when we blew the budget aside to eat out once again. Lucky winners the pair of us. It was fun and we'd go again with the kids, friends, or family.
  3. The work meeting, even though I had to give up a flex day, got behind on work, and had to drive home in rush hour, was a good day. Sometimes we have to hit the pause and figure out what we're actually trying to accomplish. 
  4. Though Saturday was steamy, I was fairly productive. It always is a simple pleasure when despite chaos, I can visibly see some progress. One area was tossing in the recycling any plastic containers or covers without a mate and having a neater "Tupperware" cupboard. Also, my daughter is getting rid of a couple small appliances that do not work. It kills me that much will go in landfill, but at least the recycling program tries to keep what's possible.
  5. DH got off at 3:00 on Saturday unexpectedly. He brought home DQ buster bars and we enjoyed a break. We watched the Belmont Stakes horse race which we enjoyed. Not sure if I've shared that I grew up a horse gal.
  6. I tallied up how far we're off on our saving goal to deposit 100,% of DH's take home in savings, essentially living on just my income. I was pleased that the difference so far is less than the increase take home I'll see September to December. Like everyone, inflation is pushing our budget, but we were a bit spend-thrifty with meals out the last month and a 1/2, a few splurges, and a plumbing issue. I feel we can cut back the non-essentials we spent too much on in the spring going forward and still have good entertainment this summer and fall. Not really a pleasure, but at least some relief.
  7. DH and my daughter got her furniture and items she doesn't need in the short term stored. She's disappointed she doesn't have a house in process yet, but for her need to get away from awful neighbors, this is a good interim plan. Last Friday they had a party until 3:00 a.m. Her neighbor below her sent volatile texts to her landlord if he so much as heard my daughter's television. She tiptoes around her home but the people above her have no thought. I'm not going to sugar coat it. She's sad about this. She made that apartment a home that fit her style and feels sort of forced from it earlier than planned, before she's found her house. Sending positive energy out that she'll find her next home by fall if not sooner. In the short run, we've got a room for her to get tested, restored, and save a bit of rent in the short term.
  8. I made a summer fun list on Sunday to try and shake us all up a bit. Gas prices are through the roof, but I found lots to add on weeknights and weekends we don't go to the cabin that economize and are local. 
  9. I was not "that" neighbor, but the mom's at the cul-de-sac entrance are no longer putting their chairs in the road, but rather either yard. They also seem to be directing traffic for the kids to ride by the curbs, not the middle of the road- well, as best they can. I enjoy the kids, just not everywhere! The wading pools were out in full force with the first hot weekend of summer, and hearing the splashing and laughing next door when I'm outside reading is a simple summer joy.
  10. I decided enough with the frumpy clothes and decided at least for this week, to get up and dress and look like I'm going into the office. I've been very lazy complacent. Both yesterday and today I put on a dress or skirt, earnings, and a touch of blush and mascara. I do feel perhaps a bit more spring in my step. I'd like to say I'll keep at it, but for now just pushing this week. I've decided I'm also going to get a cut and color before Chicago. I've just let myself get unkept. 
     Pup continues to be my good boy. He's a little creep sometimes, but when he's in his playful mood, he helps stress and anxiety hide for a bit. Sunday was our 11th anniversary of him joining our home. If the saying goes all good things must come to an end is true, surely the opposite has to be part of the equation. I hope you're all finding more joys than sorrows, and even if life is hard, you're finding the positives.
This was him the day he arrived.

26 comments:

  1. When my kids and friend share their "anxiety" I always say... "let's stop and pray over this". I have one out of the six that no longer calls, said she just stops and prays instead.

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    1. This is beyond my kids, and some are not religious. I like your idea and that's what I do.

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  2. All and all it sounds like a pretty good week. I always try to keep my hair, nails, wardrobe, etc. up because it just makes me feel better for some reason. Pup is so cute in his picture. As hard as it is when they leave us all the love they give while they're here is priceless. Hopefully you'll have many more years together.

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    1. When I think and set stress aside, yes, I can find positives.

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  3. It’s hard as a parent when you absorb what’s going on with your kids. You just want to lessen their burdens and take away their troubles and that helplessness when you can’t just makes you sick. I totally get that.

    A few joys this week-had a glass of wine and great conversation with a neighbor, who also gifted me a few spider plants. Husband rearranged his schedule so we could have a nice night by the fire on Thursday. Grad party for one of my squad’s children. I touched base with financial aid and discovered that I was completely wrong and the original number we need to get in loans is the accurate one, it is not double. I gave myself panic and sleepless night for nothing. I finally feel like I’m getting somewhere with understanding the process! Work has been challenging. Two women have become very cliquey, petty, lazy, etc and have been making things difficult. I find myself retreating into “my” area of the store more and becoming less social. I’m okay with that too :) JoAnn

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    1. I should hail my neighbors, wine bottle in hand. That would be a nice way to get reaquainted and meet the new neighbors.

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    2. I have also realized that I have to reduce my involvement/anxiety with my kids. This does not mean my day to day interactions, support and love but my carrying loads that I have no control over. I think I can’t always be a sounding board either but I’m not quite sure how to manage that. I do know when I and my siblings were adults, married, we did not involve our parents with tough things (hardly at all, and we went through difficult times, including financial). Farming is bad and the weather! So I hear about that (and what can I do) plus medical and kid issues. This week I have one with Shingles in his ear, two with poison ivy, that’s getting worse despite tx., one with a severe Crohns flare. Grandson getting over Covid, worry about other 11. Plus one daughter’s pregnancy……. I actually had my physical last week and am setting up an appointment to discuss going back on antidepressants as it had helped my anxiety before. Jre

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  4. My positive is that I finished the worst meeting of the week, and got that done on Monday am. I was dreading it (presenting a new HR process to 100+ managers, without really knowing much about it, and I'm certainly not in HR myself.) I spent hours prepping & stressing, so I'm grateful it's done!

    Otherwise, really looking forward to a night away with M this weekend. The kids will be with my parents, and rather than do two nights at a place we were kind of excited about, we opted to do one night at a place we've both really wanted to check out. It also reduces all of the associated costs (meals out, mostly). Very excited to celebrate him on Father's Day, and get a chance to relax, after not getting to spend any time together for 10+ days, due to various commitments & traveling.

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    1. My quarterly awful meeting is tomorrow. I'm glad you got through yours. Happy birthday to M!

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  5. I am glad you're able to support your eldest daughter through this life patch. Does she live in an apartment, could she leave a bad review once she moves out? That landlord will see their own reckoning when bad tenants leave and the place is a mess.

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    1. It's a privately owned old house converted to three condos. Her landlord knows the issues but I think is sheepish and got some sob story that cat was her recently deceased grandma's, but it's a lie as they moved in and hid them. The bottom guy is just unbalanced.

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  6. It sounds like there is quite a bit to work through and I just wanted to wish you all the best; when my anxiety is high I feel absolutely rubbish. Sending a good week your way!

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    1. I appreciate it! Things will resolve eventually, but I'm getting weary of so many people having issues.

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  7. I'm sorry your daughter felt she needed to move out sooner than she wanted to but bad neighbours can make life miserable, so good for her!

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    1. This is why she wants a single family home- no shared walls, no one above or below.

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  8. I thought kids were sitting in the street. The moms sit in the street. Why?

    It kills my soul when I hear a child of mine is in distress. And, they are all much older than yours. I think I might have worn hard shoes and turned up the TV before I left, at least for one day. But, the kook might have been dangerous. I like to fantasize what I would do and then never do it.

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    1. The mom's sat at end of cul-de-sac to firm sort of a barricade to keep their kids in circle and not in main road. This means they need to move when people in cars wanted in or out.

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    2. Easy to wonder why grown women would sit in the street. We shook out heads in confusion too.

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  9. So glad the kid problem is resolved. I am sorry you are struggling, aren't we all? I feel bad about your daughter, but a window will open, I just know it will. I absolutely love buster bars. Now I want one.

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    1. Well, they moved this weekend so we'll see if it continues. I hope hope hope she finds something! Buster bars are the best summer treat!

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  10. Sorry to hear that you are struggling. Hope, things change for the better soon. I am sure some family time outdoors in the summer will lift your spirits.

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    1. Just so many knocks, but had a little resolution on something. One issue done, 30 to go. I'm looking forward to the weekend though it's only Tuesday.

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  11. Virtual hugs. I have no advice, just a virtual hand of friendship and understanding. Cindy in the South

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    1. As I said, things will resolve, but of course other things pop up. Just a lot at one time. I appreciate the friendship and kind words.

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