Friday, July 1, 2022

Friday Free for All- Managing Disappointments

     


     How do handle minor or major disappointments in life? I'll start Friday Free for All with this question? Do you seek out reasons for it, and try and get a better outcome next time? Do you let it roll off your shoulders, move on, and not think anymore about it? Or, like a spoiled rotten child, pick up a plate still with swaths of ketchup, and throw it against a wall? 

     I'm in a private Facebook group that I won't give details on, but it's been a definite support resource. I have a good life, but there's a nagging disappointment or two that sharing thoughts, reactions, and hard days in a somewhat anonymous manner is helpful. Reading how others navigate similar situations, helping me gain perspective, lightens my burden for a bit. It's sort of the opposite of unrealistic social media posts.

     I probably have been over dramatic about my daughter's house hunting. She was quite disappointed not getting this particular house. It is a pretty house with great bones and visuals. She'd have been happy, and in just 24 hours before learning she didn't get it, was seeing her life there. She's doing ok, but used some hours she had available to take both yesterday off, plus her regular Friday and just removed herself from house hunting for the weekend. She made an honest offer, couldn't do more, and didn't push risking a bad situation by playing the bidding game. Getting over her disappointment won't be immediate, but she's not wallowing, and feels confident in what she offered. None of us know what the market will keep doing, but we know she'll save money each month until she buys. Hopefully that helps the short run. 

Independence Day 

     I'm still pissed at the rulings of the last week. Make no mistake and don't be surprised, this Supreme Court majority is going to support those that are going to come after some right or value you've had at some point. Don't those type always think they can impose their world view on those they feel are less? You'll be fine of course, if you fall in line with the minority right wing, ultra conservative, evangelical, prisses of the country. That coach was not exercising his freedom of religion. He was grandstanding from a position of authority in a public venue, his personal religious views. Just exercising his personal right to pray, but had to do it watched by a crowd on the 50 yard line?  We all know good old boy/ sports culture of following the leader. Yet another decision the Supreme Court got wrong. Independence Day? Just for some I guess. I say this as someone who prays myself, regularly, sometimes in public places, but I don't end a meeting going to the middle of the room to do it while all eyes are upon me. 

     Well, I'll celebrate friends and family, our health. I'll celebrate where there actually has been progress and not a backwards slide. I'll eat my weight in watermelon and blow bubbles with the little kids. Then, I'll handle my disappoinment, no my disgust, by doing what I can to get critical thinkers, good decision makers, and those that truly represent our interests elected. How about you? What's on your long weekend plan?




     

28 comments:

  1. I know this feeling all to well. Try to take each day as it comes. Regine
    www.rsrue.blogspot.com

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    1. Thanks, Regine. There is the next opportunity always.

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  2. I’m good at oversharing lol, so here’s my life right now. My store manager quit, her last day is Tuesday. I have no clue what my future holds at this job. The other full time manager has the potential to be great but as she is right now, she shouldn’t get the position. These aren’t my decisions to make but things are going to get mighty uncomfortable. My sons boss got fired. He’s thinking about leaving as well but has vacation coming up and is just riding things out for the moment. My friend had her appendix rupture while in the hospital waiting over 12 hours for surgery. My daughter’s boyfriend is in danger of getting kicked out of school for his abysmal GPA and his lack of urgency, care, priorities etc is quite concerning to her. My mother in law ignored my daughter’s 18th birthday, aside from a message on my husbands Facebook. Forget a gift, that’s not what this is about. More emotional damage from his toxic family. So here we are, struggling along. Everyone is in a rough place mentally right now, believe it or not there’s even more stuff I’m not mentioning. We might go on a hike Saturday morning, or not. But we will cookout, I plan on having a few drinks and wasting my Sunday doing absolutely nothing. I work Monday and then life goes on. There’s no real celebrating here, I’m sorely disappointed in the direction this country is heading and I can’t believe that more people aren’t outraged. JoAnn

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    1. Oh, JoAnn. That's a lot to juggle in your head. I don't know if your son or you have a new opportunity waiting, but it's hard to know when the timing is right to change jobs when the environment has become so toxic. Maybe your daughters hard work will rub off on bf. Not all are ready for the self discipline college takes. My son struggled his first year - saw it though, and buckled down.

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    2. Hugs to you, JoAnn. That is a lot.

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  3. I'm sorry about the disappointments. I hope that your daughter will be able to find another house that she loves. It looks like the housing market is cooling, so maybe that will be better news for her?
    I agree with you on the court rulings. I really wonder what Jesus thinks of these "Christians" and their prayers. I'm reminded of Matthew 6:5,6.
    Our July 4th plans changed since I am sick, so no trip to the lodge with my brother and his family. Maybe the guys will grill or smoke something and we'll have watermelon and sit in the car to watch fireworks.
    Hope you have a great weekend.

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    1. I hope you feel better. I know she will find something that is right for her. It took her being brave to make the offer, so the let down was real. I spent last night trying to calm the dog so no fireworks for me.

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  4. My frustration is at an all time high. That's all I can say on that topic.

    For disappointments, I usually recover reasonably quickly, but definitely indulge myself for a day or so, doing what I want, feeling down, and moping or what have you. Then I dust myself off, and remind myself that 1) I can change many things (although, not everything) and 2) moping never helped me any.

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    1. I needed this reminder.

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    2. You are so right. Moping doesn't solve, but a good stomp or cry let's the emotion go somewhere so we don't explode.

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  5. I am trying to feel festive! However, I cannot get enough sleep to even feel since the dogs next door are out of control. We don't have plans, just watching fireworks people will set off this weekend. Right now, I am waiting for animal control to call me. We are staying home to stay safe and enjoying our flowers...lol. I have been thinking a lot about the freedoms we have lost and the fight to get it back and retain the other freedoms we are in danger of losing.

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    1. I'm sorry the dogs interfere in your sleep. I hope that situation resolves without bad will.

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  6. Here's my share. I work on the faculty of a technical school. I am PT and come after the Program Directors and the FT folks. I get a lot of freedom from being PT. Our enrollment is down and therefore everyone else gets slotted into classes and I got the class only I can teach and a bunch of disappointment. Basically I am there 10 hours in day and work 6 of it. I am there 8 for the next and work 4. IT is the worst schedule I have ever had. Class, break, class. I had a feeling this would happen and feel like it was discussed among the administration. I know they knew it was bad and a heads up would have been nice. Thing is if they had said something I would have gotten over it in a couple days and dug in. Now I am considering other options. The PT schedule is usually conducive to having extra time to garden and can and that looks like an impossibility this summer. I am hoping the long weekend and the pool will improve my attitude.

    As for the house hunt, I hope she sticks to her plans and gets something soon. I know several people who paid too much for the house they got and are already worried about paying. The house next door to me sold for twice what I paid for my house 4 years ago and they are gutting it. Same age, same size, same size property and mine had new electrical. Good Luck.

    Amy

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    1. That's really a crappy way to schedule. Your basically a full time prof with part time pay. Hopefully they'll fix before the next semester. She is adamant about how much she'll use from savings and her absolutely highest payment so that will keep her from over teaching and then being too house poor.

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  7. He was grandstanding from a position of authority in a public venue, his personal religious views. Just exercising his personal right to pray, but had to do it watched by a crowd on the 50 yard line?
    -You forgot that he also went on a nation-wide tour!
    I wonder how long it will take before a Muslim teacher quickly prays to Mecca in class, or a Wiccan casts a circle, resulting in a ruling that *ONLY* Christian prayer is allowed.
    Also, hard as it may be to believe, there are those who choose not to practice ANY religion, and should not be subjected to such in a public school. I was/am on e of these people. I remember being particularly agitated in h.s., circa 1982, when, during the moment of silence, I had a homeroom teacher who insisted I set down my book, and stop reading and pray or meditate. (My parents put an end to that quite quickly, btw, with a simple phone call, resulting in the daily morning announcement always including a reminder that the moment of silence was to be used in any way we deemed fit, as long as it was silent.)
    And, finally, to get my snark out, if you're praying over high school football, you're taking high school football far too seriously.
    The erosion of our civil rights is a reality that I think most don't quite understand. It's still somewhat nuanced--but Thomas' concurring opinion was quite clear about what is headed down the pike. We're in for some very, very sad decades. Biden, unfortunately, doesn't have the stomach to expand the court...

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    1. I respect his right to pray when he wants as long as he wants. It's the where and optics that put an unspoken message out there to either those he can influence or those he's trying to be show cased for.

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  8. I am so sorry your daughter did not get the house. I was truly hoping it would be the one for her.
    I am one of those people who bark for a moment when I am disappointed or angry, then let is roll off. Now don't get me wrong, I am not above saying something pithy, but it never lasts but a moment.

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    1. I'd like to bark less then try and fix. She'll find something but so little this nice has come in the market. We'll have to temper her dreaming the next time, next offer.

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  9. I think your daughter's attitude to losing that house is right. Take yourself out of the equation for a while and then you can come back out fighting!

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    1. A weekend of sun and water will be good for her. Next week there might be more coming up as people try to move before late fall and winter.

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  10. I'm like Anne above, I don't let much get to me especially when it is out of my control.
    I'm looking forward to the three day weekend, pool time, grilling and a lot of relaxing.
    I hope you enjoy yours as well!!

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    1. Your weekend sounds pretty terrific. Enjoy!

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  11. That coach should not grandstand when he prays, but go into a closet.

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    1. I don't think he needs to go to a closet, but the field is not his personal space.

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  12. I try and look for a better outlook next time, although sometimes that is easier said than done. I’m sorry your daughter didn’t get the house. Sounds like she is handling it well though. You’ve pointed out several positive points such as having more money when the times does come for her. We are very disappointed in the Supreme Courts decisions as of late also.

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    1. Every week longer to close once she finds a place is a bit more savings. There's more to come on the market as life is constantly changing.

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  13. Officer murdered and another one seriously injured in the line of duty in my judicial district this week. This week has positively sucked. Dead officer had two young kids. I have no words. Cindy in the South

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    1. I'm so sorry to hear that. I pray, so will keep them in mind.

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