Loss

Loss is inevitable in life. Yet, when it happens, the gut wrenching sadness can still be overwhelming. My dear friend lost her mother this week following a several year illness and a long draining final month. Mrs. L was one of the warm, caring people of the world who are almost ageless in their ability to befriend anyone they might meet. She was friends with my mom, her late husband was  friends with my dad. Several of my siblings were friends of my friends siblings and two of my kids grew up with her grand kids. We have lifelong bonds, so I feel this loss more acutely than with other friends parents.  

I remember hanging out as kids, and everyone loved being around her mom, never any awkward parent moments. As an adult, if I ran into her mom out and about on errands, we would chat away and soon half an hour would be gone, though it felt like just a few minutes. She always was eager to know news about everyone and shared the highlights of her family. As a person of faith, I am comforted to know my mom has her friend again in heaven.

Another loss, is our sweet little guinea pig. He was so full of crazy energy, rattling his cage when he wanted to hang out, and then suddenly he just passed. We have called the vet and looked on line and learned it is not an uncommon for guinea pigs to have heart issues and strokes.  It has to do, I researched, with the domestication of essentially a wild animal and an unfortunate breeding dynamic. This is speculation-we did not have an autopsy. Pup seems really sad, and keeps going to the empty space where the cage was. As DD had another pig when we got pup, who passed away about nine months before we got this little guy, poor pup has experienced a loss of a friend twice. Of course DD is devastated. We will not replace pig due to her only being home for four more years, and the previous two pigs lived over 6 years. 

My trial on living life with a glass half full attitude on Saturday really did help me wake up in good spirits on Sunday. I did as I had willed, tried it again on Sunday, despite learning my friends sad news. On Monday, we learned a financial issue that we thought was clean and done, has reared its head again, and needs to be put to rest for once and for all.  It will be to the tune of $4,800. Tuesday we lost pig. And yet, I feel more optimistic this week about life overall than I have for a long time. I am sad, frustrated, and scared- no denying that. There is something though to pushing through the grief, the fear, the panic, and the anxiety to find something left in the glass to get me to the next refill.