Dragonfly's

Last night I had my last of 6 book studies using Dr . Brene Brown's book, The Gifts of Imperfection. I must admit that if I hadn't had the opportunity to digest this book in a book club like format, I probably would have read, said, "meh," to myself, and moved on.  It wasn't until we started looking at individual sentences, statement,s and pieces of her research, and my hearing each of the women in the group reflect, that the book started to have meaning to me. This won't be a post about the book itself.  Rather, I want to reflect on how spending a few hours a week with thoughtful and inspirational women, can give something I might have glossed over without another thought, a whole different frame. Two things have stuck with me frrm the book. One, we get to decide who hears our story. We have people in our lives out of love and obligation, but those we truly let know what is inside us, and why it matters, is our choice. Second, authenticity is what leads to finding belonging, whereas trying to be perfect forces us to just fit in. Fitting in oftenmeans leaving a piece of us behind, or trying to live up to some unrealistic version of ourselves. Oh how I have let others define me and decide what box I belong in on so many occasions.  How many times did I apologize to myself and others for not hitting the bar that wasn't meant for me anyway?

I probably opened up and talked more, and listened more, to other people than I have in years. I chose to let this group know about my blogging, and that darn it, I am proud that I actually followed through and did it. I discovered gifts in others that they didn't know they had, or at least weren't seeing it as a gift. I no longer want o hear anyone say, "I'm just...." I got to witness a friendship so strong and positive between two women, that they shared their friendship with the rest of us, and it was infectious. Each member of this eclectic mix of women with diverse interests and ages, brought together under a common faith, added more of that authenticity I couldn't before label, but knew I have been craving. There was a lot of head nodding and encouragement when someone struggled to put words to the ideas they had in their head. There was a lot of laughter and some tears. We decided we will continue the discussion format on-line and have less frequent in person meetings for the summer months, but firm commitment that we wanted to start a new book come fall.

In summarizing some of the points of the book that resonated with us, we landed on courage, and the idea that courage did not have to be heroic. J showed a lot of courage in setting this group up, with no firm plan for how it would play out. Young and middle year mom's with kids at home were courageous in taking this time for themselves, usually putting themselves after everyone elses needs. A few in the group were courageous in sharing that they struggled with feeling acknowledged, and and others shard how courageously they  moved on from past actions of others that wounded them greatly, but decided they owned how their story would be told.  

The two dear young women who were close friends shared a final gift  with each of us, a dragonfly charm.  In a cute little sack, stamped with a dragonfly, was a little charm with the following note:

 

The Dragonfly Charm

 

this little dragonfly will bring lightness into your day,

it will help bring you joy as you travel along life's way.

This dragonfly reminds you to be strong and courageous too,

keep a positive attitude in all that you do!

 

I hope I the group is ok with me sharing this expereince.  I share it out of appreciation admiration, and inspiration in moving me towards a life filled with joy.

 

Dragonfly charm-Ganz co. Dragonfly necklace, my own.  I already loved dragonflys.