Tuesday, March 2, 2021

Positively Tuesday-Simple Pleasures and Of Being a Nerd

      When I was a kid, then teen, and even into my early high school years, I was a full on nerd-in my head at least. I often, in desperation to not stand out, not look different, hid so many of the things that truly made me happy. Oh I wish I could shake that young girl up and let her go back and embrace all the quirky things she enjoyed, found pleasure in, and not be a trend follower. Off and on over my adult years I fell into this trap as well-hiding things  I liked to do, how I preferred to spend my time, publicly bought into the things I was supposed to like, in efforts to fit in. I did this with DH's family, who seemed oh so much posher, more important, than me and my family. His sisters were thin, pretty, and popular in their circles of friends, who all also were thin, pretty, and popular. The friends I  stayed close with were just my girls; we didn't  want, nor could afford, the latest fashions and scents of the moment. 

     When we were engaged, of course I bought into the  expectation of how things are done. I registered at Dayton's (which eventually became Macy's), but really I would have been happy to start my home with a hodge podge collection of  hand me downs and cast offs, while I took the time to figure out what my real adult  home personality should be. Fortunately, most of the items I registered for were practical, and if not entirely practical, are things I still enjoy and use like the way too expensive stoneware and crystal glasses. There's still though quite a few lurkers in cupboards, and I honestly can't tell what might have just been gifts selected by the giver or part of my registry, that are used seldom and perhaps I might not have used some things at all. 

     Being a garage sale, flee market, second hand acquirer was always part of my preferred way to shop and decorate, but now it is maintream-33 years ago it was nerdy. I am so inspired by bloggers who have turned their homes, closets, and lifestyles into reflections of them, heart and soul. I'm not saying they are nerds, but that they are not following the commercialized view of what their home, closets, and lifestyles should be. I'm a nerd though, obsessed with a variety of things that make me happy that might not appeal to the masses. I like comfy fabrics, and natural materials in my home and in my closet, and no one will ever convince me that stained oak is not the most beautiful  look for cupboards and furniture even if it is so 1980's. I don't have style, nor do I want style-I want to have things  that just make me comfortable, whether clothes or furnishings. I like to be surrounded by books, and movies, and old CD's and LP's. I watch  sci-fi like Dr. Who, and middle earth sagas in worlds of magic. I like a good cold beer in the bottle or ice cold from a tap. While I like to use my fun  martini and margarita glasses, they were acquired in period of time when I  followed a trend. I could have picked up mismatched ones in thrift stores and garage sales over the years, and had a good old fun time doing so. At 55, I'm embracing me-the messy, nerdy, unfashionable me. 

     With that boring self-reflection of my moving into and out of being influenced by what's popular, I'll share the simple pleasures of the last week. These are the things that help me to not just get to the next day towards  return to a more normal life, but makes the days enjoyable. 

Ralph Lauren, Evyan White, and Karl Lagerfield. I have
made these last and they smell the same. EW is still in box. It might not have been part of the prize.


  1. Our walks have been a sloshy mess, but I am happy for my boots that keep my feet dry, and I don't need to  avoid certain routes as the snow melts and floods parts of walking paths.  I still may splurge on Wellies-I say that every year.
  2. I made the perfect vegan peanut butter, oatmeal chocolate chip cookies on Saturday. Don't confuse vegan for healthy as these were decadent! I baked 12, but froze 30 more balls of dough for future enjoyment. Recap tomorrow!
  3. The inspiration for my nerd memoir, jumping on the band wagon last night and adding a Dr Who themed post to celebrate the birthday of a new to me blogger. I read Doctor Who, and I wanted to join in. 
  4. The best darn hamburger-and I didn't take  picture. Again, I'll recap tomorrow, but this one was made as a copy cat to a burger I love at a bar we are taking a pause from, and  similar to an burger from a bar no longer  in business. It was insanely good-and a bargain having had it at home. 
  5. Having popcorn and  movie night at my daughters Saturday, with a full moon overhead. 
  6. The three hour road trip with DH which included Dairy Queen! It is so expensive for what it is, but the sun and it being the last day of meteorological winter made it a must. 
  7. The barking patrol in the neighborhood. Now, this could be an annoyance, I love dogs and seeing pup's friends again as an indication that it is warm enough for them to play outside. This of course sets off a barking chain reaction as when one starts, the others seem to follow. 
  8. YouTube Nerd alert-I added two more blogs to my subscribe list, another couple young bloggers (With actual real jobs and YouTube for fun, or a side gig) that just are relaxing, and give me a peek into life of  a different generation in a different part of the country. One is  in Brooklyn and the other in Virginia, outside of DC.
  9. I have a load of meetings today, and I actually did hair and make-up. It was a simple pleasure to move out of my messy mode and put some effort out there. 
  10. Lastly, and this will make me seem really odd as  simple pleasure, but I gave myself a spritz of a perfume that I have had for more than 25 years. Remember above when I said I registered at Dayton's because I thought I was expected to? I also would pop in there periodically and look at sales racks-actually buying my son's Kindergarten school wardrobe very cheap there, and registered for a give away. I won a gift basket with oodles of expensive items form the cosmetic and perfume counters. Here is what I still have. I absolutely love Lagerfield Sun, Moon, and Stars, and have been making this last since I wear scents so seldom. I don't even know if it is still produced. Does perfume have an expiration date?
     I'll try to capture 10 each week, and not repeat from previous weeks. There of course is variations of themes. How are you doing each day? Are you finding things that make you happy even if they are different than what others might choose?

Tried to hold camera out of shot, but this is me 
wearing a bit of spit and polish.

* I looked it up and Lagerfield, sadly, no longer makes Sun, Moon, and Stars. It is a beautiful light fragrance. On Ebay, unopened bottles are listed for over $200, used over $100, and empty bottles for over $20. Mine is still very full-a little spritz goes a long way.

** Perhaps I am actually a geek, not a nerd, or maybe I'm just a dork. "According to OkCupid's Nerd, Geek, or Dork Test, these three terms are defined this way: A Nerd is someone who is passionate about learning/being smart/academia. A Geek is someone who is passionate about some particular area or subject, often an obscure or difficult one. Oct 28, 2011"

34 comments:

  1. I used to love the smell of Sun, Moon and Stars on other people. On me, it was another story. The only perfume I enjoyed on myself was First, by Van Cleef and Arpel, but I can't find it anymore. In any case, after my 3rd baby was born, I became unable to bear most fragrances on myself, sadly.
    I've always been an "odd duck" I guess, even in my own family. It takes courage to acknowledge yourself as a kid, even well into adulthood, doesn't it? To that end, I may gripe about my own kids to, say, you--but I try to give them plenty of latitude to figure out their own paths. It doesn't matter what they tell us, it's what they are telling themselves that counts.

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    1. I gag in church with the massive amount and different fragrances -part of why I will wear so little, I also got used to working in scentless environments, so another reason it lasts so long. My kids did much better and sooner finding their own paths in lfe.

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  2. I think most of us try to 'fit in' when we're younger. I admire the youngsters who follow their own path, that takes courage. I aspire to be bohemian and colourful and a little bit different, but its in my head and doesn't really translate to the 'real' me. I feel more confident to try to follow my own path now though, I just need to actually do it rather than think about it!

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    1. I think I'm seen as a bit quirky at work, but in a done to earth way, which is how I see myself. DH's family things I'm obstinate and odd when really I'm just no longer willing to ignore or adopt views I don't agree with. I've always been very different form my sisters, but they seem to like that I am my own person, which is why I like them all for being their own people!

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  3. Honey there's nothing wrong with being a nerd. I was a nerd and a "swot" but I ended up so much happier than if I had tried to follow the "in crowd" at school. In England we had to wear a school uniform so that tamped things down a bit but never believe that you have to be like the others to fit in.

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    1. Sometimes it just feels easier, particular as kids, to not try and look different-even as adults, to not stand out. I'll propose a twist on your last sentence, never believe you have to fit in. It's Ok and people can still be liked, even if they do not quite fit.

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  4. Old perfume is fine, as long as you don't drink it....*snort*

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  5. I'm clearly a nerd, and a geek, and who knows likely a dork as well. Always have been, and I never tried to hide it or fit in in school. I just didn't care what other kids thought, and discovered enough other nerds/geeks/dorks to have a small circle of friends. Celie

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    1. I had my sports, and yearbook, and French class, and 4H, so overall was just fine, but I also sometimes wished I wasn't invisible-for the right reasons, not because I was hiding.

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  6. I'm a dr who fan & love sci-fi & dystopian novels which seems to be odd amongst my friends. One of things I love about being older is that with each year I seem to care less what others think of me, I worried so much about trying to fit in when I was younger - such a waste of energy. its our differences & quirky habits that make us interesting! enjoy the perfume :)

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    1. That is a beauty of age. We become the masters of all of our life choices, and who gives a darn if others think they are different or odd.

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  7. I was very different in my younger days. I think I was in my 30s before I had ever gone into a thrift store or to a yard sale. Boy I have changed! I'm the total opposite now, I very rarely step foot in any retail stores other than the grocery store. I still have the original kitchen cabinets in my house from back in the 80s. I don't believe in changing things that still work just fine. We all just have to do what we are comfortable with and what makes us happy, and forget what anyone else thinks about it!

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    1. My young married life was as hard as my early teens, mostly because I felt like DH's family didn't think much of me, and so I was trying to do things the way I thought they wanted things done-holidays, shopping, gifts we really couldn't afford to give. When his sister died the year I also turned 30, I think I let myself break out of trying to fit any mold I thought they expected me and my family to fit in. That also meant I started butting heads with different members, standing my ground when something mattered. I'm glad for that as I think it has helped us not fall under anyone's expectations.

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  8. Bailey calls herself a nerd too. LOL Nothing wrong with that, they usually make a lot of money in life.

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    1. She is a strong young woman-I hope she continues to embrace her nerd!

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  9. I suppose I am a nerd leaning toward geek. Perfume lasts forever, I think. When I married, I only registered for sterling silver, lost now. It is a shame we think we have to be something else when we are young. I lost a great deal doing that.

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    1. I didn't even register for any flatware-but am looking for new stuff now as ours is so mismatched.

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  10. I definitely tried to fit in, growing up. My personal observation is, the more you try to do that, the more you stick out. I can now report that I'm very happy with where I'm at (not that there's no room for growth - there's plenty, but it's there because I personally want to grow, not because I want to be like someone else.)

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    1. In 8th grade, I had a brief inclusions with a group of girls who were "cool", but realized I didn't really like the things they liked, and they soon got bored with me anyway by summer. A couple that I stayed friendly with invited me to a few things my junior year, and I was tempted to step back into that realm of coolness. I the end, I decided I could stay friendly with those that we had genuine conversations, without trying to be included in their group. AS you said I would have been the awkward one standing apart, not really true to myself.

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  11. I think the actual scent of the perfume will intensify as it gets older. That doesn't mean that's a bad thing but may contribute to it lasting so long and not needing to use much. I was an in-between-teen, not a nerd, not a jock type, not popular nor unpopular - just in-between. I was sometimes on the outside looking in and there were other times where I tried to be friends with a popular group, to find that was not what I wanted either. A common theme is that I never knew what I wanted to do when I grew up. I was and still can be indecisive and I have a hard time taking sides as I see the logic or reason for both sides. It has always been easier for me to know what I don't want or like vs what I do want or like. Now that I'm older, I see how little some of those things matter anymore. My home is very comfortable to me. None of our furniture matches, by choice. And our house is far from new - 1941 built, but I love the character it has. Coving and arched doorways and solid wood doors with really cool hardware. It's not perfect by any means but I love it. I agree that we should be who we want to be and wear what we want to wear and trends and style shouldn't have the impact it does for many people. Enjoy life everyday. There are no guarantees for a tomorrow.

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    1. you described my teens to a t! Maybe we went tot he same school, LOL. I too dabbled a lot in ideas of what I wanted, but eventually I knew I was going to do something in Education, though even that has morphed over decades. This blog is my nod to wanting to be a writer, or journalist. I too like houses with character-though I live in kind of a cookie cutter 80's house, but more because DH did not want an old house.

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  12. I think middle school/high school age kids are so busy trying to figure out who they are that they generally try to blend in as much as possible.
    As an adult I learned pretty quickly to choose friends who liked the real me rather than some "acceptable" version they wanted me to be.
    I once was talking to one of my friends about my total lack of style when she told me I had style__it was just my own and did not necessarily coincide with everyone else's.

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    1. True to that-the friends I have now, either still from my long ago past, or met through the decades, know my flaws, my quirks, and my disposition as I know theirs and we like who each other are.

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  13. In high school and beyond, I hung out with the “freaks”. The kids with blue hair, doc martens, piercings. This stuff is all so common place now, I like to think that maybe we were the trendsetters lol. I married and had kids young and became a very lost and boring person thinking that wives and mothers couldn’t be interesting or fun. I was under a lot of pressure to be perfect, the kids perfect, the house perfect. And I was struggling. Once my kids started school I made some friends, all who were years older than me but we’ve stuck together for over a decade. At my job now I’m the second oldest person and some of my coworkers are the same age as my own kids and I love them all. Long story short, I kinda feel like I’ve never fit in anywhere but I’ve come to a place where I like me. I’ll take me anywhere. I think I’m lots of fun! I like learning new things and reveling in the good old days. I’m a bad ass and a softy. I don’t know what any of this makes me. I guess a dork? I've been called worse ;) JoAnn

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    1. What's interesting, having kids, or at least by the time they had started school, which also coincides with me turning 30 and the year DH's sister died (and hit in the face with life being too short to live someone's else's view of life), I found being a mother liberating to the expectations. Now I had these little beings that I wanted to develop into strong adults, and they would need a strong role model who did things for herself, while doing for others. I went back to school when my kids were in 1st and 3rd grade for another degree in a different discipline, one that opened a lot of doors for me (then was pregnant at graduation with child three). Over the next 20 years, I met new friends, and reached back to a few of my old friends that life just interrupted our time together. I'm glad you like you-I like you, and am so glad to know you at least through the blog world.

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    2. Thanks, Sam! I like you too, my friend! Thanks for blogging, it’s a nice little corner of the internet you got here! JoAnn

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  14. I think all young girls feel like nerds most of the time. I know I did. I married into a family of beauties and it was hard. No matter what I did I can not outshine my sisters in law. But I am much better educated, and much more generous, so I will take that and run.

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    1. I think that is part of it with DH's family, they had their views, formed by nothing but their own experiences and very little real education, and believed that is what should apply to everyone. Making money was the most important criteria for work, how you dress defines your net worth, racism, sexism, homophobia-not talked about unless a crude joke. I hated it, but now, I will not tolerate listening to it, and will speak up, not rudely, but directly, and then leave the conversation.

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  15. You do scrub up nicely, Sam!
    I've always been a bit different, I did have a couple of years in my twenties when I tried to fit in, living with a boyfriend who wore a suit to work, buying clothes from proper shops, going to mainstream clubs & bars and having a couple of continental package holidays but I hated it. I felt empty, bored, unfulfilled and a shadow of who I really was and soon reverted to my old ways. xxx

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    1. That does not sound like the Vix we all know and love, and am glad you went back to you. I say I love your style and Sheila's style, but what I mean, is I love that you both embrace your style. I feel like I've learned from you both that fashion is about finding cloths, homeware, travel itineraries etc. that make you feel good-not what someone else thinks looks good.

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  16. Hi Sam, I think that so many of the truly fun and interesting things in life come when you don't follow trends. Even when I was a kid I adhered to that and did my own thing without worrying too much about what others would say.
    --Jim

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    1. As wiser old lady, I totally agree. Telling that to an insecure child, young teen, and newly married young adult into an intimidating family, is another thing! I applaud the people who always knew their path, followed it, and lived to tell the tales.

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  17. fascinating to read the definitions.

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