Thursday, November 3, 2016

Melancholy Days and Memories

Yesterday was the third anniversary of my sisters unexpected death from a brain aneurysm.  Today would have been her birthday. Later this month will be the 6th anniversary of my mom's death, which happened the day after her birthday and day before mine. It is not a secret why I get the blues in November of late. I find myself getting weepy just looking at the calendar. It's my reminder that I won't always have the people in my life, so many will go before me, and I will never be prepared for that.

But then, I try and remember them both how I imagine they want to be remembered. Mom  lived a hectic and hard worked life, but a good life none the same.  She had dozens of friends, many since  childhood, right up until the day she passed away. She loved having the large family, grandchildren and great grandchildren.Thanksgiving was  her favorite holiday, since of course, I arrived on that day in 1965, followed by the traditional day after shopping, or in the later years when she was less mobile, just lunch or happy hour with all us girls.

My sister was the party girl-the life of any party. She will be missed so much on Saturday when the rest of my sisters and I have our annual weekend, but I know we will at several points of the day where tears come out of our eyes from laughing so hard at a story remembered. November is just going to always be a hard month, but I am grateful that we decided to keep our first weekend in November retreat going.  With a family of  9 girls, including my sister in law, we often were short someone being able to come.  This year, my sister M is swamped at work, but will join us later for poker nights and massive amounts of beer and wine. We'll crack open a Miller Lite' J's beer of choice, have Motown and 60''s heart throb music on, her favorite kind, and say a birthday toast to her.


  1. This is such a sweet post. Wishing you a wonderful sister weekend with happy memories. Only people who bring us joy leave holes in our hearts, so remember that joy even if it is through a few tears.

  2. Sending big hugs SAM. I feel your pain.
    For me it's February. Dad died 3 days before my 30th birthday. I still miss him dreadfully after nearly 22 years and still feel cheated. I think I always will.

  3. SAM, I am so sorry you have a sad month. Tears came to my eyes and I read your story and the timing of their deaths. I like that you are going to remember them as they would like to be remembered. That is sweet.

  4. Oh Sam reading this post made me cry thinking about my own sister. We were not that close growing up as kids but we are very close now and the thought of anything happening to her is just unthinkable. We are only a year apart and there is only the two of us. My dad died on Christmas Day and my best friend who was only in her 40's died at this time of year too. I remember all the good times and if I feel like having a good cry I do.X

  5. Thank you all for your comments and virtual love, hugs, and support. As Anne so eloquently said, "only people who bring us joy leave holes in our heart" and I was one of the blessed that have lots of people bringing me joy.


Join the conversation. Your respectful comments are welcome. Spam and advertising products or services without permission will be deleted, as will anything deemed hurtful to others. A change, I moderate comments older than three days to be sure I read them all and stay ahead of the spam. If you're a blogger, feel free to include your blog URL.