College Decision Made

     Thursday was an exhausting trip, four + hours east and then back again, with 8 hours in between to give DD2 an opportunity to see if her number one choice of schools was indeed the right fit for her. If anyone has been watching the national weather, you will know we have some crazy stuff going on in the Midwest. To the west of us was blizzards, and in our part of Minnesota heading east and south in Wisconsin heading to eastern Iowa and Illinois has been a mix of daytime sun, then freezing overnight, and a lot of fast melting. Then, the rain started Wednesday continuing into Thursday. This meant a lot of fog, nearly the entire trip. We left at insane O'clock, but later than intended, and slowed by the fog, she missed the first class she intended to sit in on. Parking was a nightmare as it was spring break for a lot of schools, there were massive numbers of other families of high schoolers on campus for tours and visits. We ended up parking at the farthest most point of a sprawling campus, and learned too late we could have hopped on the campus circular. I got my steps in Thursday. 

      As DH hadn't been to this school before, it was good that we had the long walk, though later got caught in the rain a bit, because he could see the way it was laid out in full and see where one set of dorms were in comparison to another group of resident halls. We grabbed some early lunch then she went off on her own to explore a bit, sit in a class, and explore some more. We met back up late afternoon. While nibbling on popcorn, she made a list of pros and cons of her top two schools, eventually deciding, this was the school she would choose. We walked to the book store and she got her first college sweatshirt and t-shirt, because according to YouTuber's that attend this University, you can't show up to the first day of class not sporting your school. (I'm kidding.) She felt better having made the decision, and we made the long drive home. We chatted about one of the choices she still needed to make regarding housing preference, second major, and acclimating to the huge school. Our daughter gets cars sick, mostly a head ache, so was not feeling the best We stopped for a quick supper as it was nearing 7, thinking she was maybe also hungry. Her head ache didn't go away, and she ended up falling asleep though for most of the trip home. 

     She woke up on Friday, feeling a bit overwhelmed about how hard it might be to meet people, or trying to fit in She joined a Facebook page for incoming freshmen, at my suggestion, as a way to start making the mental transition and meeting people she could potentially connect with over the summer. However, reading profiles and reading the posts, made her feel more disconnected, not less. Long story short, she had an anxiety attack. While this was her "dream school" the reality was it was just too big a school for her, with too many changes that would require her to be pushed out of her comfort zone in too many areas. From learning how hard it might be to participate in a stellar choir program, to navigating class registration for a double major, to finding like minded friends, to avoiding the hard party scene this particular university is known for, it all felt like too much. Forcing herself to decide, then visually seeing herself there in real life trying to navigate these things was what she needed. She went back to her list, and realized the two cons of the big school were more than just cons, they were overwhelming challenges. The cons on her 2nd choice were looked at again-too small, not enough "going on" in a new vein and decided, it was really the best fit for her. 

     The anxiety and stress seemed to melt away immediately. While she stated she felt a bit disappointed to give up her dream school, a school she worked darn hard to get accepted in, it was in reality not the right fit for her.  She's finally realized  that if she was going to successfully double major, study abroad, and immerse herself academically, a smaller more supportive environment would be more conducive to her personality and learning style. Plus, she already has a connection through the music program at her now college of choice. It has been a long road to get here. In hindsight, she made a connection with her college pretty much at her first tour, and solidified at her scholarship and audition day. While she also loved the big school after the tour, until it was a "real" option, she couldn't see how it fit her. Financially, the two are negligibly different because of her scholarship package. Distance from home is almost exactly the same door step to door step. I'm really pleased for her and feel like she will truly have a positive academic and social experience.