Wednesday, October 9, 2019

Questioning Too Much Financial Worry

     I sometimes get this sense that bills are piling up everywhere and if I spend money, the floor to our family's future will come crashing in. I worry that DH, who again was at the store until after 9:00, will never feel he is financially stable enough to retire. I worry that all our hard savings in our 401K will be ripped from our future by decisions of ass hats in New York and Washington and parts of the country and world where they only worry about the rich. I feel a need to get more cash saved, getting money deposited into savings accounts as quickly as possible, and then locking it away for a financial Armageddon I fear will hit me. I get this sense-sometimes

     Mostly, I go about my daily business buying what our family needs, the occasional want, and  planning for bigger purchases without stress. DD1 made a lovely vegan pizza last night for us at her home. She needed the dough to rise and we made a run up to Walmart while it was doing so. I had seen fall rain resistant jackets a few weeks back and despite not wanting to buy new clothes, I am in a precarious situation with jackets and this fall we have had Jekyll and Hyde weather.  I waited too long and the jackets I recall were no longer there, but they had swim wear clearance for between $1 and $3. I couldn't pass up picking up two sets for DD2, spending $9 for two complete suits, that might not be her favorites, but they will work at the lake if nothing else for back ups. In reality, I don't have a perpetual fear of spending money. I'm not a hoarder, or a miser, but I do wonder if it is realistic to envision a life of early retirement when there is so much potential for volatility in our financial plans.

     Tomorrow is DH and my 32nd anniversary. We plan to go our for the day on Sunday and I've been looking at options. There is a beautiful winery with a gorgeous restaurant  along a scenic Mississippi drive. I looked at the times and the menu. The menu, limited, but mouthwatering, was also on the high end. Dinner  will easily set us back $100. I'm debating the sense of spending that much for one meal. Then, I think that we have not used any eating out budget or entertainment budget yet this month-nearly half through. If a person is going to splurge, shouldn't it be on special occasions? Just like I sometimes have the sense I am heading for financial doom, I also worry that I am getting nutty about frugality. 

     We have time to decide yet, and that restaurant isn't the only one that would make a special day out. We could compromise and do the wine tasting followed by a glass of wine and an appetizer, and then go for burgers and fries elsewhere. All and all, I think I just need to stop worrying. I should still plan, still not be frivolous most of the time, and our financial life, with plenty of doses of fun, will work out just fine. 

12 comments:

  1. Try to ignore the asshats in politics and stay the course. If you want to go out for your anniversary do so...maybe just limit your eating out later in the month. We were going to get Greek Takeout for ours since Buddy was hurt but didn't end up doing that as it would have been $60 without the experience (yes, it's costly to eat out in Canada, average cheap takeout is $30 for two but that Greek restaurant is simply the best). I have the money tucked away for when we are ready.

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    1. With our daughter home next week, we'll want to take her out as well, but I actually have tow buckets-eating out and entertainment not used, so I like your thinking. Maybe we'll just each have a glass of wine instead of a whole bottle, and have a night cap at home with our own stick. I may have saved $10 right there, though a bottle is the better buy.

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  2. Alas, money worries are an all too common - and consuming - angst. I call it the Fagin Complex. Best we can do is be mindful of the budgets so things don't get out of hand.

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    1. You've got to say more about the Fagin Complex. I'm intrigued and love a good Dickens reference.

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  3. We splurge every year on our anniversary and go to our all time favorite restaurant. If it is what you would like to do to celebrate I say go for it!

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    1. It's a beautiful restaurant but I've never eaten there-just been to the wine bar and tasting room. It would be an unknown. I've found a few other options that could be really special as well-better than burgers and fries.

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  4. I agree with Anne - have a splurge and make it special. You obviously have your heads screwed on as far as money is concerned and I think it does you good to loosen the reins occasionally. But I do understand your worry too - I think we all have that when we are heading towards retirement. For me I had the "no going back" syndrome because there really was no going back, but it's worked out wonderfully and I'm sure you will both do well too.

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    1. The more I learn about retirees getting ill or worse, dying shortly after retirement, the more I want to push closer to 60 rather than 62 or 63. I guess one anniversary dinner a year as a splurge won't derail me.

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  5. At least you are thinking about while doing something about your finances. Some people never worry and may be surprised someday. Go and have dinner.

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    1. We will do something-it will be more than an Applebee's, but might not quite be $40 a plate. Maybe it will. I think the drive and poking around other communities will be the most fun.

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  6. I have some of those same worries, but nobody has a crystal ball to know what the future holds. It's always walking that razor's edge of saving for the future and/or living for now and enjoying life. The husband of a friend of mine died two weeks ago. He was watching TV and when she went to check on him, he was unresponsive. He was only 55. The two of them had spent 3 months this past summer traveling all over Europe. She has lots of memories and photos, but misses him terribly. So keep saving, but stop worrying. splurge a little and make memories. :-)

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    1. I'm so sorry for your friend. I hadn't even read your comment yet when I made my mention above about so many young retirees passing away so soon after retirement. It is a fine line-this is why I want to retire early, but I also want to enjoy today's life just as much because those future years are not promised.

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