Positively Tuesday- Just a Life Update

Here's an update from DD2 on how college is going. This was her Instagram post once back at school on October 27th, slightly edited for privacy.

"Okay so fall break was kind of epic. I got to go home and see family and friends (my dog!!!) and on Thursday I went to (Northern MN Town) to be a weekend counselor at (Name of Camp). I realized on my break though just how much I love college and the people here. I’m so happy to be back, real life resumes tomorrow! (Side note, peep me and (roommate's) accidental matching haircuts. Great minds think alike.)

Her classes are going great-mid terms were all A's so far, and more importantly, she loves them. She works hard, study's a lot in the nooks she has found in the library and this awesome science building, and has joined social/academic groups in her majors. She's meeting and developing new friendships, including with her roommate, always a crap shoot when two young people who are strangers are now suddenly living together. 

DD1 continues to work on the details for the non-profit she is starting. She's attending a training to volunteer, and then perhaps partner, with a social service organization that has a focus on family homelessness. She had a rough day at work a week ago, felt very stifled by and disrespected by  a self proclaimed senior member of their small team. Later, she had texts from two different colleagues that gave her praise on her creativity and want to figure out how the three of them could collaborate more on projects that would be much more meaningful. These are the colleagues that are also actually trained in the field, as opposed to the self proclaimed senior leader, who was basically self taught with antiquated and out dated methods, but has been with their company for over 22 years. I admire that my daughter brings her best every day, even when she feels like her opportunities are limited and at the same time, is figuring out how to share her gifts with those that could really benefit. 

DS is still on the road with his latest project. I worry about the  fires in Los Angelos, the high cost of living, his student debt. He though has still given us positive check-in messages and seems to be thriving at what he is doing. I would love his life to be stable, have a company job that doesn't rely on him constantly finding the next new opportunity, and I know he would as well. He continues to pay his dues, and I hope with each of these slightly longer projects, his work ethic and skills will land more stability. 

DH still spends too much time at work. With the low unemployment rate, his business has been good. I worry it is a bit of a false economy. He's shared some of the average monthly payments people are committing to as they want the latest and greatest vehicle with every bell and whistle, and it is close the mortgage we used to pay on this house. I can't see that it can last. He is very tired at the end of the day, but I don't know what to say or do to get him to slow down. He was supposed to be going on a trip out to Laughlin, Nevada with a bunch of friends from high school and meeting up with a few others, but that now has gone by the way side due to  a couple of the guys having  elder care issues. A friend of his from college and her husband recruited us to join them next November for a concert and weekend in Las Vegas. Now, DH will have that to plan and look forward to. If you have ideas on how to get a workaholic partner to slow down and start smelling some current roses, let me know.

Me? You ask. You all know about me. I work hard when I am in the office, occasionally bring work home, but for the most part, don't have the stress and pressure it seems everyone around me has. I've been reading for book club and brushing up on useless knowledge-useless until trivia nights that is. I dabble in writing, this blog, some more short stories for my book or a new book that perhaps will never be completed. I'm learning more about vegan cooking. I'm following through on my homework after my physical therapy sessions, but the pain is still, and most likely will continue to be ever present even while building strength so other body parts stop over compensating and get injured. I bundle up for the cold walks with pup and try and take pleasure in his curiosity rather than be annoyed that he stops every few steps to smell the, umm, roses. 

I feel like my role is to try and make everyone' s life just a bit less stressful and chaotic. This seems to apply to work, to home, to beyond both. I've been focused on actually cooking decent meals, knowing that if I can't control what DH eats during the day, I can at least make sure he starts his day with a wholesome and heart friendly breakfast and ends with a dinner filled with vegetables and healthy ingredients. At work, I'm balancing keeping my program  fiscally sound and implemented with fidelity, while helping my boss respond to immediate and most often confusing requests for actions, responses, and reports as her new supervisors figure out what it is they need exactly. She's a good egg, and I want her to be successful, and her bosses to be successful, so if my being proactive and pitching in  outside of my job scope helps that, it's all good. 

Things aren't great with a few extended family members. We all have a sad November as it is the month of both my mom and sisters birthdays and also the month they both died. This is particularly hard on my niece, who along with battling mental and physical illness, she is in financial straights because of her estranged husband, and continually makes decisions on her own that makes her life even harder. I know the poor decision making aligns with her mental health issues. I try and babysit at least monthly for my widowed niece, who I am happy to share has found a part time job that works well with the kids school schedule, getting her out and amongst people, and not just her widows group. My oldest sister hasn't progressed anymore on her knee surgery recovery and I worry that she doesn't get out as much as she should, and with winter coming, it could be worse as ice comes. On DH's side, there is still the mess with the difficult and nasty uncle and an aunt that seems to be diving deeper into mental illness of her own.  These are both tough on my mother-in-law, which makes it tough on DH. When he is not working, he seems to be dealing with paper work and cabin stuff. I just try and be a support wherever I can-to my siblings, my nieces, my spouse, and my kids, and knock on wood, I continue to have the physical and mental capacity to do so.