I admit that I am not a good nurse for my husband. I've been so busy with work and other activities, he is pretty much fending for himself. I'm also starting to lose sympathy as it is now day 9 and he still isn't considering going to the doctor and I can't force him. As an older adult, and let's face it because he won't, at 58 he is an older adult, the symptoms hit harder and take longer to bounce back from. There are things that they might have been able to do on say day three or four that would have made him feel a bit better, but he knows better. In this day and age when so many people have crappy health care coverage, I am frustrated that he isn't using our very good plan to try and seek some relief.
I'm now making alternative plans for Thursday to get my mother-in-law and sister-in-law to the concert as even if he is feeling better; there is no way I' letting him drive to and figure out parking and logistics in downtown Minneapolis at the heat of rush hour. Martyrs that tough through illness don't think about the peripheral of their being tough, the impact that a prolonged illness has on those around them. If I sound like a royal, B, so be it. I've essentially lost a full weekend, and his day off for any help leading up to Christmas. He had taken Friday and Saturday as vacation so didn't lose pay, but then missed out on the concert. This weekend, even if he feels better, I do not want him to relapse, so need him to just lay low. Does anyone else lose patience with sick spouses?
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Do I EVER lose patience with sick spouses and kids, for that matter. It's so frustrating when they won't do what they know they need to do to recover! I hear you--why are we paying each month for good health insurance coverage when you won't use it! I understand that it's a nuisance to go to the doctor's office, but being sick is worse, and worst of all is making everybody else miserable in the process.
ReplyDeleteThank you!!! These have been all my points and then he feels like I am picking on him.
DeleteIn my house I am allowed to be sick for 12 hours maximum and he languishes for days. Not your situation but it does say everything about how i feel on the subject.
ReplyDeleteI hear that as well. I just can't afford to be sick multiple days, so I do whatever I can to take care of the problem.
DeleteI have that same scenario except my 12 hours is overnight when I am sleeping. DH has had and will continue to have surgeries, does he take the required time off to heal? NOPE...usually goes back to work the next day, is he miserable a few days later? YUP and I get the brunt of it. Men...UGH
ReplyDeleteI won't put this just on men, as my girls will be like this sometimes as well, and I have a female coworker that thinks she is being brave and hard working when we all just want to scream get out of here and stay hone!
DeleteYes, yes, YES! I get very frustrated with Bill when he is sick because he just complains but doesn't go to the doc when it is needed until I force him too. I am good if I get a 6 hour break when I am sick.
ReplyDeleteAnd my husband is really sick-you look at him and know he is miserable. He;s not really a complainer though-just a martyr.
DeleteNine days is enough to warrant a visit to the doctor. I would think driving downtown and parking when he has been ill for so long would be the same as driving buzzed. I don't think men want to admit they need help except for a constant home nurse.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was a teen, I remember the Sunday School Superintendent standing in the pulpit and bragging that he had a 104 F temp, but he was determined to be at Church. Everyone visibly and audibly cringed. My mother got us out of their as soon as she could. That is sort of not the same thing as you are going through, but a thought I remembered.
Well it takes a terrible patient to make a terrible nurse. lolz
ReplyDeleteMen are such babies sometimes and that macho thing keeps them from admitting to needing help such that it makes it harder on their loved ones. ugh.
When we were married my ex would NEVER go to the doctor (that changed in later life but he was no longer my husband). BUUUUUTTTTT we all KNEW he was ill because he was very loud and visible!!! Like his mom actually (who I think a lot of). When I met her 40 years ago she was always lying on the sofa "dying", making so much noise we couldn't hear the TV. I do remember asking my ex why she could go "die in the bedroom for once"!!! And here we are 40 years later and she's still going strong. I do think that she was probably slightly ill but it was definitely a ploy for attention from her husband! Like mother like son I guess!
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