Since starting the week trying to learn and follow the minimalist 21 days to change practice, I've had some good contemplation time. I think I am on the right track in focusing on removing the clutter and junk, reducing purchases that are just mindless numbing and instant gratification, to elevate things of importance to higher status. I'll always be a worrier-I can't help that any more than Dylan could help being a rolling stone. But, the worry doesn't solve problems and really just fuels the angst. Minimalism-frugalism-non-consumerism are pretty buzz wordy right now, but I don't think it is a fad. There are plenty of folks still trying to keep up with the latest and greatest, or working harder and longer to try and move some mission forward. A mission that will get them to the same place we all arrive to in the end.
A former colleague died today, unexpectedly, following a stroke. A little over one year ago, she retired after decades of public service. Her Facebook posts were filled this last year of weekends and week days with family and friends, parties of other new retirees, a European vacation, and a lovely cabin by a lake retreat. I hope she had a good and happy life. I have no reason to think she didn't, I hope she travelled to the places she wanted to. I hope she had no regrets in any relationships she has left behind. It i sad, and I can't help feeling a bit angry at the unfairness of the timing.
I suppose the argument about spending and saving, spend while you earn it and enjoying life to the max, or living frugally and saving for retirement, might come down to where a person thinks their ball will land on the life roulette wheel. Will I have twenty or more years past retirement age, or will I have a brief few years or even months to do the "some day" things? I don't want to get to the end of my life and have regrets that I didn't do more with my life, but I also want to make sure I don't become a financial burden on my family. What is the right balance? My post this morning was much the same vein, but now I have this real concrete kick 14 hours later. Minimalism in terms of acquiring stuff-no dilemma there. I don't need or want stuff. Fancy restaurant meals out and luxury vacations? Nope, don't need them either. But I do want experiences, and time with my family, and within my control, good health to fully immerse myself in those experiences. I want to laugh with friends at our local sports bar and enjoy our wine club nights. To do those, I'll pack a sandwich and brew my morning coffee at home most days. We will enjoy a movie out once in a while, but use Netflix, the library, and free TV for most of our film watching pleasure in order to make room for live theater tickets. We will budget for travel, but will research multiple configurations of travel and stay options. While on the trip, ore even day trips, stock up on granola bars and pretzels, and keep our water bottles filled to ward off temptation to buy overpriced food court snacks. Balance will continue to be a worry for me. I do mathematical exercises in my brain regularly trying -how do I get it right, and is there even such a thing as right?
Just the other day I heard a Christian financial expert say, "you need to live each day as if it's your very last but you need to plan each day as if you'll be living for 50 more years." That's not word for word but pretty darn close. It made a lot of sense to me. Make the most of every minute, enjoy all the people in your life to the fullest right now, and go out and do the things you love (experiences) but make sure to plan for the future. You're on the right track for certain, and yep, there's that darn balance thing again...
ReplyDeleteHe sounds very wise! With the exception of the cost of travelling itself, air fare, gas for the car, lodging, we travel relatively cheap. We like to travel like townies, so hitting the grocery store for meals is fine by us if it means we save time and money to experience other things. Of course there will be months when there is not even the funds for the cheap travel but we still put into the 401K, when the real balancing comes in- discipline to want we we already have, including making those experiences in our own home.
DeleteMy parents had their financial future sorted, but also enjoyed their life together. For most of their life they had very little money, then my Dad went to work in the Middle East for a few years and used that money to pay off the mortgage, save a lot of the rest of his earnings and invest well. When he returned they still enjoyed meals out, impromptu weekends away and a few holidays, but none of those things cost a fortune. Then he died,suddenly, aged 55. I'm not sure that mine and John's financial future will ever be sorted; life events haven't allowed that, and nor do they allow us to spend now. We do what we can and enjoy our time together, even if that is just sitting in the garden or going for a walk. We don't agonise about it, and I'm not sure if that is because we simply don't have enough money to force us to make such choices about it, or if it is just the way that we are.
ReplyDeleteAs I commented above, the best balancers appreciate and want what they already have. You have such a healthy appreciation of life, your close family, and your warm home. (Did I mention I miss your blog!) I know we will be just fine, and even if we take some curve balls, we do have each other to figure it out together. I just need my brain to tell my nerves that.
DeleteIt's kind of you to let me know that you miss my blog. There have been days when I have missed writing it, though not many as I'm still under a bit of a grey cloud following May's election and subsequent decisions made by the government. I do appreciate what I have, but my life can be very difficult at times, more difficult than I could ever get across on the blog without revealing every last detail of our finances and my health, something I was never prepared to do. That left me open to some of the ridiculous, vindictive comments I received over the years, and I really don't miss those!
DeleteLately I've been thinking about consumerism and I've come to conclusion that my life wouldn't be much different even if I wasn't short on funds. It is a cliche, but it is really true...spending time with loved ones is the greatest treasure. I had my pair share of that treasure and for that I'm grateful.
ReplyDeleteAs for saving for retirement, I literally have nothing to save...and I don't have any retirement plans either. I was a type that always planned and believed in work hard to enjoy later, but no matter how hard I tried, there is nothing in the enjoy later category, so I might as well enjoy my life now.
Perhaps just a little amount, year by year? I honestly don't know though how low and moderately low wage earners are able to balance their living each month and try to put something aside. I hope I have modeled both frugality-without being a cheap skate, for my kids, and trying to b both practical and savor some of the good things in life. I think understanding what those good things are and embracing them is part of the balance.
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